The Mental Health Thread

[Darrell Green Fan]

Oh, I so empathise with this.

I was always the uber positive happy guy too, and still am mostly. But between 10 and 15 years ago, things just happened to really get under my skin and my mind hasn't really ever bounced back to where it was before.

Death was a big one for me too. Not that I had anything life threatening happen to me, but I was there when both my grandparents died (different occassions!) and that really started making me thing. When I hit 50, I noticed a real shift in my thought patterns. I morbidly started thinking in terms of years in front of me rather than behind me.

The other thing that really impacted me, as I hinted at earlier, was being in an abusive relationship. Not one where I was being hit or anything, but a mental one. My partner at the time had kids, which I took on as my own. SHe was very melodramatic and always causing drama. She'd have extreme mood swings and threaten to kill herself, and I weathered the storm for almost a decade, before calling time on it. I should have called time MUCH earlier, but I loved those kids. Eventually I started to see how that life was affecting me. I was miserable, neglected my friends to the point I had no one to turn to, I'd drained all my money trying to keep her happy... It was stupid, and I deeply regret it now.

Getting out of the relationship was one thing, but what drove me into depression was realising how bad my life had become. Therapy was absolutely what I needed to start realising self worth again.

It took a while to build my life back up. Get my old friends back, make new ones. Get out of debt and my life back on track. Now I have my wife Jess, and she's wonderful. The exact opposite of my ex. She's supportive, and so cool and calm. No drama. She loves me and supports me in everything I do. I wouldn't have pursued writing and got books published without her backing. She's been amazing.
WE don't have kids, and that's the one thing I regret. I'm 54 now and I figure that ship sailed, which is kinda sad. I dote on my nephews though, and weirdly those kids from that doomed relationship contacted me as soon as they turned 18, so they're a part of my life.

But there are times when I have moments of sadness creep in at lost opportunities and how I wasted years of my life I'll never get back.

I'm so glad to read this. When I got cancer of course I did a lot of reflecting. What I have always known was the biggest regret I can think of was playing short stop in softball when I should have stayed in the outfield. I am not kidding. Every major decision I have made worked out for me. I found it was easy to accept death when you feel this way, I have no complaints. But getting through cancer changes you, I didn't appreciate life more as most do it simply put death into focus. A year later learning I was high risk of heart attack or stroke was far more upsetting. I thought I had skirted death for a while, I was no longer ready to accept death I'm ready to live and this seemed so unfair. I'm still wrestling with this but I'm a lot better than I was a few months ago. I trust my good high school friend who is a cardiologist who said I'll be fine.

 

[skinsmarydu]

July 3,2019 (to me, Jim Morrison Day).....I had just come out of a 3-week stay in the hospital, weighing 63.7 pounds. Got myself back to 100 (my husband's threshold for me going back to work). About 2 months later, my boss Italian grandma passed away of a heart attack and my husband committed suicide in the same week. Then came a pandemic.

Been in food/bev since I left the Navy in '86, so my entire world was thrown for a serious loop.

I'm just barely coming out of it almost 6 years later. Still can't sleep normally, that's my issue.

 

[Darrell Green Fan]

July 3,2019 (to me, Jim Morrison Day).....I had just come out of a 3-week stay in the hospital, weighing 63.7 pounds. Got myself back to 100 (my husband's threshold for me going back to work). About 2 months later, my boss Italian grandma passed away of a heart attack and my husband committed suicide in the same week. Then came a pandemic.

Been in food/bev since I left the Navy in '86, so my entire world was thrown for a serious loop.

I'm just barely coming out of it almost 6 years later. Still can't sleep normally, that's my issue.

I remember you posting about your husband's suicide. That is a very brave thing to do. I've been hit hard as well. My mom took her life when I was 18, shaping my life forever. Later 2 of my closest friends from high school, including my best friend, took their lives as well when we were in our 30's. For a long time the only people who were close to me who had died all died via suicide.

 

[skinsmarydu]

I remember you posting about your husband's suicide. That is a very brave thing to do. I've been hit hard as well. My mom took her life when I was 18, shaping my life forever. Later 2 of my closest friends from high school, including my best friend, took their lives as well when we were in our 30's. For a long time the only people who were close to me who had died all died via suicide.

I remember your post, I can't imagine the depth of loss you've felt. And health issues don't help when you don't have the folks you'd want to talk to about it.
To be completely honest, it's the silence I can't stand. He was a genius, could speak on almost any topic (and did, he almost never stopped talking) and respond to any question I asked without having to research...and he snored, so I can't deal with "quiet" now.

 

[Commander PK]

As noted above, I’m a big fan of the band Alterbridge. I personally think their third album, Alterbridge III from 2010 is a modern rock masterpiece. Deals with trauma, loss, and struggling to make sense of life. Trying to reconcile faith in a higher power with evidence… deep stuff, but ultimately hopeful. If you are not aware of the record, I highly recommend listening to it from start to finish.

 

[Chris]

As noted above, I’m a big fan of the band Alterbridge. I personally think their third album, Alterbridge III from 2010 is a modern rock masterpiece. Deals with trauma, loss, and struggling to make sense of life. Trying to reconcile faith in a higher power with evidence… deep stuff, but ultimately hopeful. If you are not aware of the record, I highly recommend listening to it from start to finish.

Kind of a rebooted Creed sans Stapp, no? I have been a fan of Mark Tremonti for quite a while.

 

[Darrell Green Fan]

Carl Yastrzremski is on his death bed. He was my boyhood hero and you only have one of those. I've been dreading this day for a while.

 

[Commander PK]

Kind of a rebooted Creed sans Stapp, no? I have been a fan of Mark Tremonti for quite a while.

Yup, Creed with Myles Kennedy on vocals instead of Scott Stapp. Myles also plays guitars with Mark. In my opinion this version of the band is far superior to what they do as Creed. Alterbridge is huge in Europe, but did not hit the same way here in the States. From the beginning Alterbridge has been edgier and more progressive sounding. More my speed.

 

[Darrell Green Fan]

I have been prescribed nitroglycerin just in case. Now at first this was unsettling, every doctor said I'm not at risk now. I have blockages but learned 2/3 of heart attacks occur with people without blockages. It's the fresh new plaque that drops them, once it's calcified it is a stable plaque. But it comforting (getting back to the mental health aspect) that I'll have some protection. I found if you open them they can lose potency, I was going to put a few in my wallet. So I got a little case that fits on a key chain and I'll keep the bottle unopened in that.

I guess this sort of goes in the health thread but since I already talked about it here I put it here.

 

[Mickalino]

I'm a bit of an expert on this. Not because of profession or degree, but experience.
But a lot more people struggle with this than you think. It's because people are afraid to admit it.
Because they know the stigma attached to it. And they know most people won't take it seriously.
Because of that, a lot of people keep it secret, and hide it the best they can. So a lot of people that you know, have it, without you knowing that they have it.

A good example is Robin WIlliams, who supposedly ended his life because of depression. He is the last person one would expect to do that.
Or Chris Cornell. Or Elvis Presley's grandson.
If it can happen to them, it can happen to anyone. Another important thing to keep in mind, is there are "levels" to this ; it can range from the mild blues,
to absolute torment.

The best way I could describe it is this : Think of a time in your life when you experienced the most euphoria and bliss, and then consider that the
human mind is highly capable of going to the absolute opposite extreme. And staying there. Because it can turn to quicksand if you let it, and spiral
downwardly. It's like a "trap" in the mind. So the human mind is highly capable of going to the most dark places.

But it does not have to be that way.
One way out, is overcoming the stigma that I mentioned earlier. So I give much praise to Boone, for starting the thread and beating that stigma.
We can already see from the responses, that it's very common, and nothing to be ashamed of, and NOT a sign of weakness.
But thank you, Boone.

Edited, to add another helpful tip for those dealing with it ; There's another misconception about the issue, is that it has simple, common, obvious causes.
Rather, it can can have numerous potential different causes, depending on the person ;
So, if you attempt to address one particular cause, and it doesn't work - don't give up - keep searching and you will find the cause.
Also important to remember you're not alone. Far from it.

 

[RedWolf]

Love him or hate him? Your call. But his messages are positive and strong

 

[Primus Porcus]

Shared this in the Music thread... thought it had merit here as well....

 

[Mickalino]

Shared this in the Music thread... thought it had merit here as well....

This cat, and this song in particular, reminds me so much of the movie Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe.
How even extreme levels of mental torment or even psychosis, can simultaneously reside and function in the same brain as pure genius.

 

[RedWolf]

Hope everybody is having a good day and is in a good headspace. The one thing I miss about Maryland is the Fall, I know that's right around the corner. Try and get out and enjoy the season. It was always good for my head.

 

[Chris]

Pretty good X feed-

 

[Boone]

Don't worry. Enjoy life. Go to the theater.

- Abraham Lincoln

 

[RedWolf]

Pretty good X feed-

False quote

 

[RedWolf]

Don't worry. Enjoy life. Go to the theater.

- Abraham Lincoln

False quote

 

[SkinsFTW]

I've read all of the recent posts here, I think, and I feel so bad for all of you, who have had to live your lives, after someone you loved and cared for killed themselves. It's something I've never had to deal with, but I know it must be painful and make you second guess things, but you shouldn't have to do that. Nobody knows when someone is going to kill themselves. That weakness is not your own but you have to live through it and it must be hard. I feel for you, all of you who have had to live through this. To me, each life is unique, and each of us need to live it. Suicide should not be a thing, but it is. So it makes me feel like shit when I hear that someone did it. It's almost narcissistic in the way that it only hurts everyone besides the one who killed themselves. This is why I just couldn't ever do it. I know how much pain it will cause others. I might hate myself sometimes, but it is not about me. It is about you all, not you, but all of the world who may know me. How could I do that to all of those other people, just because of my own feelings?

Shit, I wanted to die a few years ago, when I was living in the hospital for 6 months on 10 iv's a day, getting injected with Ketamine and Duladid and handed piles of pills a day, totally out of it, I was gone, done, wiped out on hospital dope, for real, I did not give a shit at all, and was going to die from pancreatic cancer anyway and I knew that my 31 year old wife deserved better than me, when I was 48, and definitely dying, for sure 100%, they all told me that. I was definitely dead so why even try? Then, I had one of my legs chopped off and they wanted to also chop off the other leg and my right arm from an infection...... but my wife was the only one who had hope, and saved me and stayed with me 24/7 everyday for that entire year. When we went home after 6 months she changed my IV's at home 4 times a day so we didn't have a nurse who might reinfect me at home like they did in the hospital. She stopped them from cutting off my other leg too. I didn't even care at that point but she did it. I never even thought of a way to kill myself, therefore I am still here. Some people just want to die. It is crazy and difficult to understand. I wanted to die, I had the cancer that should have killed me as it does for 99.9% of all pancratic cancer patients but somehow I am alive and my cancer is gone. It is crazy. I am happy now and I am only here because of all of those doctors and my wife saving my life.

 

[Burgundy Sweatshirt]

July 3,2019 (to me, Jim Morrison Day).....I had just come out of a 3-week stay in the hospital, weighing 63.7 pounds. Got myself back to 100 (my husband's threshold for me going back to work). About 2 months later, my boss Italian grandma passed away of a heart attack and my husband committed suicide in the same week. Then came a pandemic.

Been in food/bev since I left the Navy in '86, so my entire world was thrown for a serious loop.

I'm just barely coming out of it almost 6 years later. Still can't sleep normally, that's my issue.

I feel you. Lost my amazing husband to stage 4 lung cancer during the height of Covid. He never smoked, was in great shape and died 6 months after diagnosis. We had so much fun watching and attending Washington games. He was an amazing doctor and loved by everyone. I was so happy being his wife. Sleep eludes me too and the silence is deafening. I’m so grateful for my kids and grandkids. Life turns on a dime. He had zero symptoms until diagnosis day. He lived life to the very fullest and my love for him keeps me going, but death no longer scares me.