The Mental Health Thread

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Knightingale said:
Oh, I so empathise with this.

I was always the uber positive happy guy too, and still am mostly. But between 10 and 15 years ago, things just happened to really get under my skin and my mind hasn't really ever bounced back to where it was before.

Death was a big one for me too. Not that I had anything life threatening happen to me, but I was there when both my grandparents died (different occassions!) and that really started making me thing. When I hit 50, I noticed a real shift in my thought patterns. I morbidly started thinking in terms of years in front of me rather than behind me.

The other thing that really impacted me, as I hinted at earlier, was being in an abusive relationship. Not one where I was being hit or anything, but a mental one. My partner at the time had kids, which I took on as my own. SHe was very melodramatic and always causing drama. She'd have extreme mood swings and threaten to kill herself, and I weathered the storm for almost a decade, before calling time on it. I should have called time MUCH earlier, but I loved those kids. Eventually I started to see how that life was affecting me. I was miserable, neglected my friends to the point I had no one to turn to, I'd drained all my money trying to keep her happy... It was stupid, and I deeply regret it now.

Getting out of the relationship was one thing, but what drove me into depression was realising how bad my life had become. Therapy was absolutely what I needed to start realising self worth again.

It took a while to build my life back up. Get my old friends back, make new ones. Get out of debt and my life back on track. Now I have my wife Jess, and she's wonderful. The exact opposite of my ex. She's supportive, and so cool and calm. No drama. She loves me and supports me in everything I do. I wouldn't have pursued writing and got books published without her backing. She's been amazing.
WE don't have kids, and that's the one thing I regret. I'm 54 now and I figure that ship sailed, which is kinda sad. I dote on my nephews though, and weirdly those kids from that doomed relationship contacted me as soon as they turned 18, so they're a part of my life.

But there are times when I have moments of sadness creep in at lost opportunities and how I wasted years of my life I'll never get back.
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I'm so glad to read this. When I got cancer of course I did a lot of reflecting. What I have always known was the biggest regret I can think of was playing short stop in softball when I should have stayed in the outfield. I am not kidding. Every major decision I have made worked out for me. I found it was easy to accept death when you feel this way, I have no complaints. But getting through cancer changes you, I didn't appreciate life more as most do it simply put death into focus. A year later learning I was high risk of heart attack or stroke was far more upsetting. I thought I had skirted death for a while, I was no longer ready to accept death I'm ready to live and this seemed so unfair. I'm still wrestling with this but I'm a lot better than I was a few months ago. I trust my good high school friend who is a cardiologist who said I'll be fine.
 
July 3,2019 (to me, Jim Morrison Day).....I had just come out of a 3-week stay in the hospital, weighing 63.7 pounds. Got myself back to 100 (my husband's threshold for me going back to work). About 2 months later, my boss Italian grandma passed away of a heart attack and my husband committed suicide in the same week. Then came a pandemic.

Been in food/bev since I left the Navy in '86, so my entire world was thrown for a serious loop.

I'm just barely coming out of it almost 6 years later. Still can't sleep normally, that's my issue.
 
skinsmarydu said:
July 3,2019 (to me, Jim Morrison Day).....I had just come out of a 3-week stay in the hospital, weighing 63.7 pounds. Got myself back to 100 (my husband's threshold for me going back to work). About 2 months later, my boss Italian grandma passed away of a heart attack and my husband committed suicide in the same week. Then came a pandemic.

Been in food/bev since I left the Navy in '86, so my entire world was thrown for a serious loop.

I'm just barely coming out of it almost 6 years later. Still can't sleep normally, that's my issue.
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I remember you posting about your husband's suicide. That is a very brave thing to do. I've been hit hard as well. My mom took her life when I was 18, shaping my life forever. Later 2 of my closest friends from high school, including my best friend, took their lives as well when we were in our 30's. For a long time the only people who were close to me who had died all died via suicide.
 
Darrell Green Fan said:
I remember you posting about your husband's suicide. That is a very brave thing to do. I've been hit hard as well. My mom took her life when I was 18, shaping my life forever. Later 2 of my closest friends from high school, including my best friend, took their lives as well when we were in our 30's. For a long time the only people who were close to me who had died all died via suicide.
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I remember your post, I can't imagine the depth of loss you've felt. And health issues don't help when you don't have the folks you'd want to talk to about it.
To be completely honest, it's the silence I can't stand. He was a genius, could speak on almost any topic (and did, he almost never stopped talking) and respond to any question I asked without having to research...and he snored, :ROFLMAO: so I can't deal with "quiet" now.
 
As noted above, I’m a big fan of the band Alterbridge. I personally think their third album, Alterbridge III from 2010 is a modern rock masterpiece. Deals with trauma, loss, and struggling to make sense of life. Trying to reconcile faith in a higher power with evidence… deep stuff, but ultimately hopeful. If you are not aware of the record, I highly recommend listening to it from start to finish.

 
Commander PK said:
As noted above, I’m a big fan of the band Alterbridge. I personally think their third album, Alterbridge III from 2010 is a modern rock masterpiece. Deals with trauma, loss, and struggling to make sense of life. Trying to reconcile faith in a higher power with evidence… deep stuff, but ultimately hopeful. If you are not aware of the record, I highly recommend listening to it from start to finish.

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Kind of a rebooted Creed sans Stapp, no? I have been a fan of Mark Tremonti for quite a while.
 
Carl Yastrzremski is on his death bed. He was my boyhood hero and you only have one of those. I've been dreading this day for a while.
 
Chris said:
Kind of a rebooted Creed sans Stapp, no? I have been a fan of Mark Tremonti for quite a while.
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Yup, Creed with Myles Kennedy on vocals instead of Scott Stapp. Myles also plays guitars with Mark. In my opinion this version of the band is far superior to what they do as Creed. Alterbridge is huge in Europe, but did not hit the same way here in the States. From the beginning Alterbridge has been edgier and more progressive sounding. More my speed.
 
I have been prescribed nitroglycerin just in case. Now at first this was unsettling, every doctor said I'm not at risk now. I have blockages but learned 2/3 of heart attacks occur with people without blockages. It's the fresh new plaque that drops them, once it's calcified it is a stable plaque. But it comforting (getting back to the mental health aspect) that I'll have some protection. I found if you open them they can lose potency, I was going to put a few in my wallet. So I got a little case that fits on a key chain and I'll keep the bottle unopened in that.

I guess this sort of goes in the health thread but since I already talked about it here I put it here.
 
I'm a bit of an expert on this. Not because of profession or degree, but experience.
But a lot more people struggle with this than you think. It's because people are afraid to admit it.
Because they know the stigma attached to it. And they know most people won't take it seriously.
Because of that, a lot of people keep it secret, and hide it the best they can. So a lot of people that you know, have it, without you knowing that they have it.

A good example is Robin WIlliams, who supposedly ended his life because of depression. He is the last person one would expect to do that.
Or Chris Cornell. Or Elvis Presley's grandson.
If it can happen to them, it can happen to anyone. Another important thing to keep in mind, is there are "levels" to this ; it can range from the mild blues,
to absolute torment.

The best way I could describe it is this : Think of a time in your life when you experienced the most euphoria and bliss, and then consider that the
human mind is highly capable of going to the absolute opposite extreme. And staying there. Because it can turn to quicksand if you let it, and spiral
downwardly. It's like a "trap" in the mind. So the human mind is highly capable of going to the most dark places.

But it does not have to be that way.
One way out, is overcoming the stigma that I mentioned earlier. So I give much praise to Boone, for starting the thread and beating that stigma.
We can already see from the responses, that it's very common, and nothing to be ashamed of, and NOT a sign of weakness.
But thank you, Boone.

Edited, to add another helpful tip for those dealing with it ; There's another misconception about the issue, is that it has simple, common, obvious causes.
Rather, it can can have numerous potential different causes, depending on the person ;
So, if you attempt to address one particular cause, and it doesn't work - don't give up - keep searching and you will find the cause.
Also important to remember you're not alone. Far from it.
 
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Love him or hate him? Your call. But his messages are positive and strong
 
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Shared this in the Music thread... thought it had merit here as well....

 
Primus Porcus said:
Shared this in the Music thread... thought it had merit here as well....

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This cat, and this song in particular, reminds me so much of the movie Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe.
How even extreme levels of mental torment or even psychosis, can simultaneously reside and function in the same brain as pure genius.
 
Hope everybody is having a good day and is in a good headspace. The one thing I miss about Maryland is the Fall, I know that's right around the corner. Try and get out and enjoy the season. It was always good for my head.
 
Don't worry. Enjoy life. Go to the theater.

- Abraham Lincoln
 
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