The Mental Health Thread

Burgundy Sweatshirt said:

I feel you. Lost my amazing husband to stage 4 lung cancer during the height of Covid. He never smoked, was in great shape and died 6 months after diagnosis. We had so much fun watching and attending Washington games. He was an amazing doctor and loved by everyone. I was so happy being his wife. Sleep eludes me too and the silence is deafening. I’m so grateful for my kids and grandkids. Life turns on a dime. He had zero symptoms until diagnosis day. He lived life to the very fullest and my love for him keeps me going, but death no longer scares me.

Click to expand...

SkinsFTW said:

I've read all of the recent posts here, I think, and I feel so bad for all of you, who have had to live your lives, after someone you loved and cared for killed themselves. It's something I've never had to deal with, but I know it must be painful and make you second guess things, but you shouldn't have to do that. Nobody knows when someone is going to kill themselves. That weakness is not your own but you have to live through it and it must be hard. I feel for you, all of you who have had to live through this. To me, each life is unique, and each of us need to live it. Suicide should not be a thing, but it is. So it makes me feel like shit when I hear that someone did it. It's almost narcissistic in the way that it only hurts everyone besides the one who killed themselves. This is why I just couldn't ever do it. I know how much pain it will cause others. I might hate myself sometimes, but it is not about me. It is about you all, not you, but all of the world who may know me. How could I do that to all of those other people, just because of my own feelings?

Shit, I wanted to die a few years ago, when I was living in the hospital for 6 months on 10 iv's a day, getting injected with Ketamine and Duladid and handed piles of pills a day, totally out of it, I was gone, done, wiped out on hospital dope, for real, I did not give a shit at all, and was going to die from pancreatic cancer anyway and I knew that my 31 year old wife deserved better than me, when I was 48, and definitely dying, for sure 100%, they all told me that. I was definitely dead so why even try? Then, I had one of my legs chopped off and they wanted to also chop off the other leg and my right arm from an infection...... but my wife was the only one who had hope, and saved me and stayed with me 24/7 everyday for that entire year. When we went home after 6 months she changed my IV's at home 4 times a day so we didn't have a nurse who might reinfect me at home like they did in the hospital. She stopped them from cutting off my other leg too. I didn't even care at that point but she did it. I never even thought of a way to kill myself, therefore I am still here. Some people just want to die. It is crazy and difficult to understand. I wanted to die, I had the cancer that should have killed me as it does for 99.9% of all pancratic cancer patients but somehow I am alive and my cancer is gone. It is crazy. I am happy now and I am only here because of all of those doctors and my wife saving my life.

Click to expand...

Boone said:

One thing that is new to me... I think we all have mental health struggles throughout our lives. It's just part of our human DNA and the 'being alive' experience. Sometimes times are tough. As I've gotten older I've noticed that when I am experiencing mental health challenges, it has a significant physical effect. Maybe when we are younger, we have a bigger reserve, or are just in better shape so the toll on the physical side is less noticeable. But man, as I've gotten older, when I don't feel well mentally, I don't feel well period. Aches and pains, insomnia, even a perceptibly higher BP and heartrate. It's a real thing.

I've had some ongoing stress this week and I literally have laid down at night and felt my heart pounding so loudly I could not get to sleep as a result. I am sure most of us have had something similar where you are looking at the clock and 11pm turns to 12 and then 1 and 2 am... and you are thinking 'if I fall asleep now I can still get X hours of sleep'. Maddening, and exhausting.

I'm going to start over. Refocus on exercise, eating healthy, taking care of myself, pushing things (and people) that don't contribute to good mental health away.

And btw, it is horrifying to me to talk about any of these things in the open. I recognize, especially listening to what so many of you guys have gone through, that I am very fortunate and my 'problems' are nothing compared to what others are contending with. I recognize it but it doesn't seem to help.

Click to expand...

Boone said:

That’s my pattern as well. Fall
asleep for several hours, wake, and cannot get back to sleep with racing thoughts

Click to expand...

Commander PK said:

I thought I would share this here as well. Probably the most therapeutic thing I have experienced in my life has been music. This song in particular hit at the right time for me in my life. Even today when the song hits its lyrical and musical peak I get emotional. Very powerful.

Click to expand...

skinsmarydu said:

July 3,2019 (to me, Jim Morrison Day).....I had just come out of a 3-week stay in the hospital, weighing 63.7 pounds. Got myself back to 100 (my husband's threshold for me going back to work). About 2 months later, my boss Italian grandma passed away of a heart attack and my husband committed suicide in the same week. Then came a pandemic.

Been in food/bev since I left the Navy in '86, so my entire world was thrown for a serious loop.

I'm just barely coming out of it almost 6 years later. Still can't sleep normally, that's my issue.

Click to expand...

Boone said:

One thing that is new to me... I think we all have mental health struggles throughout our lives. It's just part of our human DNA and the 'being alive' experience. Sometimes times are tough. As I've gotten older I've noticed that when I am experiencing mental health challenges, it has a significant physical effect. Maybe when we are younger, we have a bigger reserve, or are just in better shape so the toll on the physical side is less noticeable. But man, as I've gotten older, when I don't feel well mentally, I don't feel well period. Aches and pains, insomnia, even a perceptibly higher BP and heartrate. It's a real thing.

I've had some ongoing stress this week and I literally have laid down at night and felt my heart pounding so loudly I could not get to sleep as a result. I am sure most of us have had something similar where you are looking at the clock and 11pm turns to 12 and then 1 and 2 am... and you are thinking 'if I fall asleep now I can still get X hours of sleep'. Maddening, and exhausting.

I'm going to start over. Refocus on exercise, eating healthy, taking care of myself, pushing things (and people) that don't contribute to good mental health away.

And btw, it is horrifying to me to talk about any of these things in the open. I recognize, especially listening to what so many of you guys have gone through, that I am very fortunate and my 'problems' are nothing compared to what others are contending with. I recognize it but it doesn't seem to help.

Click to expand...

Ghost of Sarge said:

Sorry to hear all of that. I have found in retired life that gummies really help with the sleep. I don't do them all the time, and never during the day, but I have the dosage down to a point where is doesn't drag me into sleep, but rather keeps me there after I nod off. And I don't feel like ass the next morning either

Click to expand...

Boone said:

That’s my pattern as well. Fall
asleep for several hours, wake, and cannot get back to sleep with racing thoughts

Click to expand...

skinsmarydu said:

Thanks, I'm all about that., flower girl too. Gummies give me crazy munchies, which isn't good.
I'm gettin' there. The hardest part is silence and it takes a while, but I eventually doze off. My brain just won't stop going.

Click to expand...

DWinzit said:

Perhaps a white noise sound machine would help. I have tinnitus so the silence is awful for me. I also experience insomnia issues in the middle of the night. Any background noises like the furnace kicking on, a train or plane or car, wildlife, anything starts my mind racing. The machine silences much of that keeping my mind calm from some of those distractions

Click to expand...

Boone said:

I cannot recommend exercise - a serious commitment to it multiple times a week - enough. It has made a huge difference in my mental health over the past 6 months. If nothing else, you will achieve a healthy dose of fatigue at the end of the day that contributes to solid sleep, plus a huge number of other benefits.

The other thing I have re-learned over the past months is something I have always known, but needed to be reminded of. Part of good mental health is surrounding yourself with people who are good for you. Not all of them are you know Eliminating interaction with people that do not bring you joy, do not care about you, or who cannot be trusted to treat you well and refusing to accept those who interact with you in a negative, undermining, or non-supportive way can go a long way towards improving your life and mental state. Some people just drag you down and aren't good for you. Shed those type of people and life is a lot better.

Click to expand...

skinsmarydu said:

Shit, I have 2 fans blowing! I've had tinnitus since I was a kid, all day every day. My FWB is like "WTF is goin' on in here?"

Click to expand...