The Mental Health Thread

[skinsmarydu]

I feel you. Lost my amazing husband to stage 4 lung cancer during the height of Covid. He never smoked, was in great shape and died 6 months after diagnosis. We had so much fun watching and attending Washington games. He was an amazing doctor and loved by everyone. I was so happy being his wife. Sleep eludes me too and the silence is deafening. I’m so grateful for my kids and grandkids. Life turns on a dime. He had zero symptoms until diagnosis day. He lived life to the very fullest and my love for him keeps me going, but death no longer scares me.

So sorry for your loss...and the silence is deafening.

 

[Darrell Green Fan]

I've read all of the recent posts here, I think, and I feel so bad for all of you, who have had to live your lives, after someone you loved and cared for killed themselves. It's something I've never had to deal with, but I know it must be painful and make you second guess things, but you shouldn't have to do that. Nobody knows when someone is going to kill themselves. That weakness is not your own but you have to live through it and it must be hard. I feel for you, all of you who have had to live through this. To me, each life is unique, and each of us need to live it. Suicide should not be a thing, but it is. So it makes me feel like shit when I hear that someone did it. It's almost narcissistic in the way that it only hurts everyone besides the one who killed themselves. This is why I just couldn't ever do it. I know how much pain it will cause others. I might hate myself sometimes, but it is not about me. It is about you all, not you, but all of the world who may know me. How could I do that to all of those other people, just because of my own feelings?

Shit, I wanted to die a few years ago, when I was living in the hospital for 6 months on 10 iv's a day, getting injected with Ketamine and Duladid and handed piles of pills a day, totally out of it, I was gone, done, wiped out on hospital dope, for real, I did not give a shit at all, and was going to die from pancreatic cancer anyway and I knew that my 31 year old wife deserved better than me, when I was 48, and definitely dying, for sure 100%, they all told me that. I was definitely dead so why even try? Then, I had one of my legs chopped off and they wanted to also chop off the other leg and my right arm from an infection...... but my wife was the only one who had hope, and saved me and stayed with me 24/7 everyday for that entire year. When we went home after 6 months she changed my IV's at home 4 times a day so we didn't have a nurse who might reinfect me at home like they did in the hospital. She stopped them from cutting off my other leg too. I didn't even care at that point but she did it. I never even thought of a way to kill myself, therefore I am still here. Some people just want to die. It is crazy and difficult to understand. I wanted to die, I had the cancer that should have killed me as it does for 99.9% of all pancratic cancer patients but somehow I am alive and my cancer is gone. It is crazy. I am happy now and I am only here because of all of those doctors and my wife saving my life.

Wow what an emotional post to read. I'm pretty sure I remember you referencing your cancer but sure didn't remember all of this. I'm so happy you are still with us and making good posts.

As for me and how I coped with my mom's suicide it was strange. I don't ever remember thinking at 18 that I am all alone, thrown out into the world with no home. My dad lived in another country and my brother was away at college and never returned to the area. Home for years was whatever group house I was living in at the time. But I never had those thoughts, I was aware and a bit sad when roommates went "home" at Christmas to see their family and high school friends. But I didn't dwell on it, I was just kind of living the life I found myself in. As I got older I came to realize that everyone goes through horrible stuff, mine just happened to be when I was 18. From my mid-20's on my life was tremendous.

 

[RedWolf]

Sleep...perchance to dream.

 

[Boone]

One thing that is new to me... I think we all have mental health struggles throughout our lives. It's just part of our human DNA and the 'being alive' experience. Sometimes times are tough. As I've gotten older I've noticed that when I am experiencing mental health challenges, it has a significant physical effect. Maybe when we are younger, we have a bigger reserve, or are just in better shape so the toll on the physical side is less noticeable. But man, as I've gotten older, when I don't feel well mentally, I don't feel well period. Aches and pains, insomnia, even a perceptibly higher BP and heartrate. It's a real thing.

I've had some ongoing stress this week and I literally have laid down at night and felt my heart pounding so loudly I could not get to sleep as a result. I am sure most of us have had something similar where you are looking at the clock and 11pm turns to 12 and then 1 and 2 am... and you are thinking 'if I fall asleep now I can still get X hours of sleep'. Maddening, and exhausting.

I'm going to start over. Refocus on exercise, eating healthy, taking care of myself, pushing things (and people) that don't contribute to good mental health away.

And btw, it is horrifying to me to talk about any of these things in the open. I recognize, especially listening to what so many of you guys have gone through, that I am very fortunate and my 'problems' are nothing compared to what others are contending with. I recognize it but it doesn't seem to help.

 

[Chris]

Have you ever tried any simple form of meditation? Just lying back or lying down and intentionally breathing slow, long, and deep for 5-10 minutes? Focused on your breathing and nothing else?

 

[Boone]

No

 

[DWinzit]

One thing that is new to me... I think we all have mental health struggles throughout our lives. It's just part of our human DNA and the 'being alive' experience. Sometimes times are tough. As I've gotten older I've noticed that when I am experiencing mental health challenges, it has a significant physical effect. Maybe when we are younger, we have a bigger reserve, or are just in better shape so the toll on the physical side is less noticeable. But man, as I've gotten older, when I don't feel well mentally, I don't feel well period. Aches and pains, insomnia, even a perceptibly higher BP and heartrate. It's a real thing.

I've had some ongoing stress this week and I literally have laid down at night and felt my heart pounding so loudly I could not get to sleep as a result. I am sure most of us have had something similar where you are looking at the clock and 11pm turns to 12 and then 1 and 2 am... and you are thinking 'if I fall asleep now I can still get X hours of sleep'. Maddening, and exhausting.

I'm going to start over. Refocus on exercise, eating healthy, taking care of myself, pushing things (and people) that don't contribute to good mental health away.

And btw, it is horrifying to me to talk about any of these things in the open. I recognize, especially listening to what so many of you guys have gone through, that I am very fortunate and my 'problems' are nothing compared to what others are contending with. I recognize it but it doesn't seem to help.

I experience similar where the stress heavily affects my sleep which makes you drag through the day. his just amplifies the stress. Good sleep is so essential to good health.

The only difference I have is I fall asleep fine. I wake up 2 to 3 hours later and start thinking about things getting my heart pounding and it takes hours to get back to sleep sometimes not being able to at all.

I son't talk about things either so I feel for you all thee way

 

[Boone]

That’s my pattern as well. Fall
asleep for several hours, wake, and cannot get back to sleep with racing thoughts

 

[Commander PK]

I have found the technique of breathing in slow and steady for 10 seconds, holding it for 10 seconds, breathing out controlled for 10 seconds, and repeating the same pattern for 9,8,7,6 down to 1 actually helps me a lot when I’m worked up.

When I was working midnights back in the day I found a great way to fall asleep and stay asleep was with sleep background noise on YouTube. Just put it on a volume you can tolerate. There are a million options to include low frequency sounds.

 

[Darrell Green Fan]

That’s my pattern as well. Fall
asleep for several hours, wake, and cannot get back to sleep with racing thoughts

When I was working I had this a lot. I found if I got up and went downstairs to the recliner I could fall back asleep for a few crucial hours. It works so well a house blew up about 200 yards from us, it was heard miles away, and I slept right through it.

 

[Mickalino]

I thought I would share this here as well. Probably the most therapeutic thing I have experienced in my life has been music. This song in particular hit at the right time for me in my life. Even today when the song hits its lyrical and musical peak I get emotional. Very powerful.

Anyone who listens to Alter Bridge, is a Kool Kat in my book.
This Alter Bridge "tribute" has actually been my Tweeter profile pic since day 1

 

[Ghost of Sarge]

July 3,2019 (to me, Jim Morrison Day).....I had just come out of a 3-week stay in the hospital, weighing 63.7 pounds. Got myself back to 100 (my husband's threshold for me going back to work). About 2 months later, my boss Italian grandma passed away of a heart attack and my husband committed suicide in the same week. Then came a pandemic.

Been in food/bev since I left the Navy in '86, so my entire world was thrown for a serious loop.

I'm just barely coming out of it almost 6 years later. Still can't sleep normally, that's my issue.

Sorry to hear all of that. I have found in retired life that gummies really help with the sleep. I don't do them all the time, and never during the day, but I have the dosage down to a point where is doesn't drag me into sleep, but rather keeps me there after I nod off. And I don't feel like ass the next morning either

 

[Ghost of Sarge]

One thing that is new to me... I think we all have mental health struggles throughout our lives. It's just part of our human DNA and the 'being alive' experience. Sometimes times are tough. As I've gotten older I've noticed that when I am experiencing mental health challenges, it has a significant physical effect. Maybe when we are younger, we have a bigger reserve, or are just in better shape so the toll on the physical side is less noticeable. But man, as I've gotten older, when I don't feel well mentally, I don't feel well period. Aches and pains, insomnia, even a perceptibly higher BP and heartrate. It's a real thing.

I've had some ongoing stress this week and I literally have laid down at night and felt my heart pounding so loudly I could not get to sleep as a result. I am sure most of us have had something similar where you are looking at the clock and 11pm turns to 12 and then 1 and 2 am... and you are thinking 'if I fall asleep now I can still get X hours of sleep'. Maddening, and exhausting.

I'm going to start over. Refocus on exercise, eating healthy, taking care of myself, pushing things (and people) that don't contribute to good mental health away.

And btw, it is horrifying to me to talk about any of these things in the open. I recognize, especially listening to what so many of you guys have gone through, that I am very fortunate and my 'problems' are nothing compared to what others are contending with. I recognize it but it doesn't seem to help.

You crossed the first bridge talking about it

 

[skinsmarydu]

Sorry to hear all of that. I have found in retired life that gummies really help with the sleep. I don't do them all the time, and never during the day, but I have the dosage down to a point where is doesn't drag me into sleep, but rather keeps me there after I nod off. And I don't feel like ass the next morning either

Thanks, I'm all about that., flower girl too. Gummies give me crazy munchies, which isn't good.
I'm gettin' there. The hardest part is silence and it takes a while, but I eventually doze off. My brain just won't stop going.

 

[Boone]

I cannot recommend exercise - a serious commitment to it multiple times a week - enough. It has made a huge difference in my mental health over the past 6 months. If nothing else, you will achieve a healthy dose of fatigue at the end of the day that contributes to solid sleep, plus a huge number of other benefits.

The other thing I have re-learned over the past months is something I have always known, but needed to be reminded of. Part of good mental health is surrounding yourself with people who are good for you. Not all of them are you know Eliminating interaction with people that do not bring you joy, do not care about you, or who cannot be trusted to treat you well and refusing to accept those who interact with you in a negative, undermining, or non-supportive way can go a long way towards improving your life and mental state. Some people just drag you down and aren't good for you. Shed those type of people and life is a lot better.

 

[Ashburn Dave]

That’s my pattern as well. Fall
asleep for several hours, wake, and cannot get back to sleep with racing thoughts

Racing thoughts haunts me too. It's one reason I don't mind a little toke at night to help turn that off so I can get to sleep.

I didn't mind the racing thoughts when I was working because I could focus it on solving the work problems. Not sure I like it now that I'm retired and don't need that much thought these days.

 

[DWinzit]

Thanks, I'm all about that., flower girl too. Gummies give me crazy munchies, which isn't good.
I'm gettin' there. The hardest part is silence and it takes a while, but I eventually doze off. My brain just won't stop going.

Perhaps a white noise sound machine would help. I have tinnitus so the silence is awful for me. I also experience insomnia issues in the middle of the night. Any background noises like the furnace kicking on, a train or plane or car, wildlife, anything starts my mind racing. The machine silences much of that keeping my mind calm from some of those distractions

 

[skinsmarydu]

Perhaps a white noise sound machine would help. I have tinnitus so the silence is awful for me. I also experience insomnia issues in the middle of the night. Any background noises like the furnace kicking on, a train or plane or car, wildlife, anything starts my mind racing. The machine silences much of that keeping my mind calm from some of those distractions

Shit, I have 2 fans blowing! I've had tinnitus since I was a kid, all day every day. My FWB is like "WTF is goin' on in here?"

 

[Ghost of Sarge]

I cannot recommend exercise - a serious commitment to it multiple times a week - enough. It has made a huge difference in my mental health over the past 6 months. If nothing else, you will achieve a healthy dose of fatigue at the end of the day that contributes to solid sleep, plus a huge number of other benefits.

The other thing I have re-learned over the past months is something I have always known, but needed to be reminded of. Part of good mental health is surrounding yourself with people who are good for you. Not all of them are you know Eliminating interaction with people that do not bring you joy, do not care about you, or who cannot be trusted to treat you well and refusing to accept those who interact with you in a negative, undermining, or non-supportive way can go a long way towards improving your life and mental state. Some people just drag you down and aren't good for you. Shed those type of people and life is a lot better.

Absolutely. And that goes for family members as well, if any of them are like that. Took me a loooooooooooooong time to figure that one out.

 

[Ashburn Dave]

Shit, I have 2 fans blowing! I've had tinnitus since I was a kid, all day every day. My FWB is like "WTF is goin' on in here?"

I've had tinnitus for 20 years now. 99% of the time I can ignore it, but that 1% where I can't ignore it, really takes a toll on me.

About 15% of the world has it so hopefully they're working on a cure for it.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess today will be one of those 1% days.