The Perfectly Elusive Perfect Burger

I reject the idea a burger can be too high with too many toppings. If you aren’t struggling to get the thing into your mouth, you aren’t doing it right :)
 
I'm not a fan of the Smashburger. I'm old school American. Give me something to bite into WITH BACON!

2021_06_21_classic_grilled_cheeseburger_2.jpg
 
I'm going to miss the United States sometimes
 
I've got a bunch of burger recipes - I cook the one I'm in the mood for... they're all good in their own way.

This one I call the Motz burger. This is extremely similar to skinsfan1311's post waaaaaaay back on page 1, post #20.

Smashburger on the griddle.
A couple of patties made with~ 1/3rd of cup of 80/20 rolled into a ball. Smash onto a smoking hot griddle, salt & pepper...get that crust, flip and serve on a buttered brioche roll that was toasted on the grill before the burgers went on with whatever toppings that I'm feeling that day. Sometimes I'll put some thinly shredded onions on top of the beef before griddling.

George Motz claims this is an historical burger.

Toast buns.
Smash two (2.5—3 oz) patties of ground chuck on a hot griddle
Flip
Add (American) cheese to each patty.
Place mustard, pickles and onions on the bottom bun.
Build burger.

That’s it! Its beauty is in its simplicity. There is not much to mask the smell and flavor of the beef. And that’s what makes it great.

Personally, I would prefer something besides American, but that's just me.
 
We frequently will add bleu cheese to burgers. One thing I notice is that while I like cheese on my burgers, a lot of readily available cheeses turn into tasteless plastic when melted. I find this to be the case with pre-sliced types. I would love to hear the best cheeses you’ve found for burgers that don’t melt into plastic burger caps on the grill.
 
I love bleu cheese on a burger! It's one of my recipe burgers. The bleu cheese burger was discussed somewhat on the Weber site a week or two ago. Guy was complaining that the bleu cheese crumbles wouldn't melt and tended to fall off the patty. I pointed out that you can buy bleu cheese slices, thin slices, which won't fall off and will melt more readily.


However, they are extremely delicate and extremely expensive per ounce.

So my go-to is good quality bleu cheese dressing. Like Marie's. Make small burgers that will fit on an english muffin. Better yet, make two. Toast the muffins. Put dressing on both halves. Put cooked patty in the middle. Then the nooks and crannies will catch all the goopy dressing. To die for. But don't tell your doctor.

The classic American cheese that are pre-wrapped have the advantage that they never go bad. Or hardly ever. Buy a big package, throw them in the 'fridge, and they'll always be there ready when you are.

But I don't like the flavor American cheese, especially the pre-wrapped. Even when I was a kid I didn't like it. Does it taste like plastic? I don't know. I just don't like it.

But the cool thing is, you can double or triple up the American with one or two other cheeses that overpower the flavor of the American. And the American has emulsifiers in it which will aid in melting the other cheeses, like cheddar. So it makes a non-melty cheese melty.

But the best american cheese is the Kraft deluxe deli white American. Note the word "deluxe." And white tastes better than yellow. It is definitely the best tasting American you can buy. They are sliced but not wrapped. So I would do that with a slice of cheddar and be happy. It's also good for making grilled cheese, provided you add a second cheese. As good as it is, I still don't want to eat it straight.

 
I've got a bunch of burger recipes - I cook the one I'm in the mood for... they're all good in their own way.

This one I call the Motz burger. This is extremely similar to skinsfan1311's post waaaaaaay back on page 1, post #20.



George Motz claims this is an historical burger.

Toast buns.
Smash two (2.5—3 oz) patties of ground chuck on a hot griddle
Flip
Add (American) cheese to each patty.
Place mustard, pickles and onions on the bottom bun.
Build burger.

That’s it! Its beauty is in its simplicity. There is not much to mask the smell and flavor of the beef. And that’s what makes it great.

Personally, I would prefer something besides American, but that's just me.
Yup!
I did learn something new that I haven't tried yet. I'm going to give it a shot next time. When you scoop the beef, press it slightly to make a flat-bottomed meatball. Put the flat bottom on the griddle and let it cook long enough, (probably a few seconds), to get a slight crust, then flip and smash. No raw beef sticks to the spatula, so no messing around with parchment paper.
 
Here's my take on the blues burger - I call it Smash Burger Blues

This is a small burger which means you should consider making two. Acquire some bleu cheese and some bleu cheese dressing. Acquire some English muffins, I recommend Thomas’. With a sharp knife, slice the bleu cheese not too thick. You can also buy pre-sliced. Bleu cheese has a high melting point, so it melts better if it’s sliced thin. After you slice, you might even wait a few mins for it to come to room temperature. Heat up a griddle to 450 F. While the griddle is heating up, toast two halves of an English muffin. When they’re toasted, put them on a plate and apply a liberal amount of bleu cheese dressing to both halves. Make a ball of 75 grams (1/6 lb) of ground chuck and place it on the hot griddle. Smash it straight down. A cup style smasher is good for this, but any smasher will work including a strong spatula. Wait about a minute. When you see juice start to come up on the surface of the patty, scrape aggressively so it’s loose from the griddle. Then flip. Apply salt and pepper. Apply slices of bleu cheese. Use a melting globe to help melt the bleu cheese. After about 90 secs or when cheese is starting to melt, remove burger from griddle and place on bottom english muffin. Crown. Enjoy. Don't forget the napkins.

Edit: just made a couple for lunch!

DCP_8655.JPGDCP_8656.JPGDCP_8657.JPGDCP_8658.JPGDCP_8659.JPGDCP_8660.JPGDCP_8661.JPGDCP_8662.JPGDCP_8663.JPG


DCP_8659.JPG
 
Last edited:
Here's my take on the blues burger - I call it Smash Burger Blues

This is a small burger which means you should consider making two. Acquire some bleu cheese and some bleu cheese dressing. Acquire some English muffins, I recommend Thomas’. With a sharp knife, slice the bleu cheese not too thick. You can also buy pre-sliced. Bleu cheese has a high melting point, so it melts better if it’s sliced thin. After you slice, you might even wait a few mins for it to come to room temperature. Heat up a griddle to 450 F. While the griddle is heating up, toast two halves of an English muffin. When they’re toasted, put them on a plate and apply a liberal amount of bleu cheese dressing to both halves. Make a ball of 75 grams (1/6 lb) of ground chuck and place it on the hot griddle. Smash it straight down. A cup style smasher is good for this, but any smasher will work including a strong spatula. Wait about a minute. When you see juice start to come up on the surface of the patty, scrape aggressively so it’s loose from the griddle. Then flip. Apply salt and pepper. Apply slices of bleu cheese. Use a melting globe to help melt the bleu cheese. After about 90 secs or when cheese is starting to melt, remove burger from griddle and place on bottom english muffin. Crown. Enjoy. Don't forget the napkins.
Sounds great! Well....except for the blue cheese part. For whatever reason my olfactory senses pick up a distinct mildew odor from blue cheese that is very off-putting. Truffles seem to have the same affect....
 
I thought this was interesting. How much does it matter regarding placing the condiments and toppings? These guys on YT built five cheeseburgers, all with the same toppings and condiments, same everything, but changed the position of them in the stack to see if it made a difference in taste & structure.

They named the burgers

Whopper w/ Cheese - pretty classic I think

  • Top bun
  • Mayo
  • Lettuce
  • Tomato
  • Onion
  • Ketchup
  • Pickles
  • Cheese
  • Patty
  • Bottom bun

What's app Ramsay - apparently has two dabs of mayo and lots of stuff on the bottom

  • Top Bun
  • Ketchup
  • Onion
  • Pickle
  • Cheese
  • Patty
  • Mayo
  • Tomato
  • Lettuce
  • Mayo
  • Bottom bun
Krabby Samsung - cheese is not even on the patty!
  • Top Bun
  • Pickles
  • Mayo
  • Ketchup
  • Tomato
  • Onion
  • Cheese
  • Lettuce
  • Patty
  • Bottom Bun

Google Hat - has cheese on the bottom bun below the patty

  • Top Bun
  • Mayo
  • Onion
  • Pickles
  • Ketchup
  • Lettuce
  • Tomato
  • Patty
  • Cheese
  • Bottom Bun

Apple Hat - has lettuce on the bottom bun below the patty

  • Top Bun
  • Mayo
  • Onion
  • Pickle
  • Ketchup
  • Tomato
  • Cheese
  • Patty
  • Lettuce
  • Bottom Bun

The Krabby won the contest for taste, according to the vid. Apparently this is mostly because the cheese flavor was stronger somehow, by not being on the patty. The Whopper and Ramsay tied for second for taste. But they were both more structurally sound, so the Whopper and the Apple Hat tied for first over all. Krabby is a close third. And they messed up the Apple Hat score somehow, I think the second 6 is supposed to be a 4.

burgersrated.jpg

Here is the YT code if you're interested in plowing through the silliness - v=qJskYagyhjE


Edit: This other guy says the first vid got it wrong with Krabby - he doesn't like the unmelted cheese. He likes the Whopper version. But he says, even better is the fat burger w/ bun, mayo, shredded lettuce, tomato, chopped onions, pickles, mustard, patty, cheese, bun. In other words, you melt the cheese on the patty, then put the patty upside down on the bottom bun. v=xK4m0LvW7EY
 
Last edited:
I was a Hardee's manager in the late 80s. The way they went on a Big Deluxe was mayo, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cheese.
Hehehehehe....can't believe I still remember that.
 
We should pay attention to the fast food joints - not because we want to cook a fast food burger, but because they've almost certainly spent a whole lot of time trying to figure out the best way to add condiments and toppings to a burger for maximum enjoyment. For the record, the world-famous globally-renowned internationally-acclaimed sunshine burger puts the toppings on the bottom bun and the condiments on the top bun as ordered by the customer. I think it's just for a matter of convenience, but it works. With the buns prepped, they lay the cooked cheesy burger on the bottom bun, crown, slice in half, and wrap tight.

Here is a post by steezeburger which won "best burger in the DC metro area" according to the WP. I did some research. The dude was raised in Laytonsville which is very close to Sunshine. And so yes, he was raised on Sunshine burgers. So his style emulates Sunshine somewhat, although he makes smash burgers on a Blackstone. But steezeburger is a pop up. Nonetheless I checked it out a couple summers ago and was unimpressed. I thought sunshine was better. WP must have missed Sunshine. Sunshine is a gas station burger. Nobody is going to walk into a gas station looking for the best burger in DELMARVA. You have to hear about it from somebody, and then you have to follow through.

 
Last edited:
People overthink shit too often. It's really quite simple.

Good beef cooked properly
Great thick sliced bacon
Good cheese
Fresh ripe vegetables
Solid toasted bun

Keep it simple
 
Hahahahahahahahaha

I don't know if the word "simple" and the word "perfect" go together so easily. Hence, the word "elusive" in the thread title. :p
 
So I've wasted twenty years of my life.

Shoot. I hate it when that happens. :mad:
 

It was twenty years ago when I started a similar thread on ES. But I've been working on this for longer than that.
 
Sounds great! Well....except for the blue cheese part. For whatever reason my olfactory senses pick up a distinct mildew odor from blue cheese that is very off-putting. Truffles seem to have the same affect....
I know, right? I want to like blue cheese....and truffles....but I can'

It was twenty years ago when I started a similar thread on ES. But I've been working on this for longer than that.
Damn time flies!!
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Total: 0, Members: 0, Guests: 0)

Help Users

You haven't joined any rooms.

    You haven't joined any rooms.
    Top