I’m sure it’s only me and I accept that, but…
I think it’s time to cease with the frequent references to ‘the other board’.
1. Nobody here that wasn’t a member of the group that was left high and dry cares and
2. No current boyfriend (or girlfriend) wants to hear about a past love(r).
This feels overly sensitive. I catch up on every thread on this section of the board each day and it’s really not mentioned that often. It may in fact be mentioned the most by VOR, who is a staff member here. Maybe SIP sometimes, in his long screeds referencing past opinions held. You welcomed us here with open arms, for which we’re grateful, but we all do still have a shared past with many other people on this board that is totally normal to reference (as I’m sure many who have been here much longer do).
This is the place that made it and “won” in the end. Not that it was a competition, but you’re here and the other place isn’t. You all foresaw that the other board being owned by the team would end in tears for various reasons, and you were right! (I know there were other disagreements with the culture of that board, but this isn’t the place for that conversation, I just wanted to acknowledge that I realize that the team owning the board wasn’t the only reason you guys set up shop here).
And you created a beautiful home and welcomed us as refugees when the time came. I like to think we’ve contributed some since we’ve arrived, and done our part to contribute respectfully to the activity around here.
But this post coming in the place that is prideful about not having heavy moderation is kind of ironic. I’m not even one who really brings up ES or the past, as we move forward here, but this kind of wrinkled my nose a bit. I don’t think what you’re referring to is particularly noticeable or disruptive, so calling it out feels like it’s been a building frustration for you. Which is valid, and I’ll personally note that going forward (I realize I’m posting as if I’m a spokesman for the dead ES contingent here, but really I can only speak for myself).
But the reality is that there are a group of us who only found ourselves here after losing the other place. For some it was by choice, while some weren’t aware of this place before. But for all, this place is becoming home now. I don’t think casually (and rarely) referencing the past (while it’s still so recent, I would expect it to fade over time) is that offensive to what you’ve built here—what you’ve built has lasted, it endures. It speaks for itself. And calling it out is a little pointed towards your newer members who are approaching this place with good intentions and an open mind, I think.
At the same time I have empathy for you folks who had your own paradise here, built with intention and organically grown from likeminded people over time…and then were suddenly inundated with people from another place (which you had left with purpose, while they had not) with other norms and expectations and posting habits and traditions. You’ve all been welcoming to us but the influx of new people and ideas isn’t only beneficial (though hopefully it is that), I can see how it would be jarring to have people come in with pre-existing relationships, references, and histories that aren’t from here, who just make themselves at home. I can see how that would be alienating a little. The internet is weird like that.
So I appreciate that it’s probably been just as weird for you folks as it has been from us web surfing refugees. But we don’t mean anything by it, I feel confident in saying, even though again I can only technically speak for myself. This is your home turf, and we’re still just kicking the mud off our boots and warming up here, I acknowledge that. But this post feels a little bitter, and why? The mere mention of some posters’ shared history from the dead place some of us came from is that disruptive or agitating to you? It’s not like we’re dirtying up the board by re-litigating the mods ban-happiness or something annoying. What I see is mostly just referencing past posts and debates that people naturally share, which is normal message board behavior that happens to have taken place before we got here.
It’s a message board, people post things the majority don’t care about all the time. If we’re all welcome and coexisting here, respectfully, I think this sort of sentiment is a little damaging, even though I understand it.
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