HogSportsNet: Shanahan shares 'Skins game plan at presser ;)

Jugband McGillicuddy

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ASHBURN, Va. (HSN) -- In an effort to bolster fan confidence in the struggling Washington Redskins, head coach Mike Shanahan took to the podium today, and offered his team's entire gameplan for Sunday's game against the Detroit Lions.

"I know this is a bit unusual," Shanahan began, appearing a little nervous. "But I feel the time is right to do this; to let our fans know that we're not as stupid as they think we are, and that we do, indeed, see all the things that they scream at their television sets for us to notice."

"I want to start with one of the biggest concerns; the defensive secondary. We've had some one-on-one meetings with guys. We've told them that, in spite of some of the rule changes this year, it is OK to cover receivers and to make the occasional tackle."

"That Voltron guy (sic) over there, he's a really good receiver. He's big. He's strong. He's fast. But we're going to cover him this week. Covering #1 receivers hasn't been a part of our gameplan until now, but we think it might help," Shanahan said, as reporters murmured about the brilliant, albeit unconventional approach.

"Along those lines," he continued, clearly enjoying the positive response from the assembled media, "We're also going to try and block some people when we have the football. After reviewing the film from the first two games, the staff and I agreed that doing so might allow us to do other things -- like run the ball or maybe throw it."

At this point, Shanahan was interrupted by the seemingly never-ending question, regarding the health of quarterback Robert Griffin III.

"Yeah, we're not going to let Robert be hurt anymore," he said rather sharply. "He's been hurt long enough. Enough of that. My R8 blew a tire on the way over here this morning, and I was only a half-hour late. If something that fast can be ready to roll again, a half-hour after having a bad wheel, then so can Robert. I mean, he's only putting out like a quarter of the torque that my car does."

Asked if Jordan Reed would get more playing time, given the fact that he's been one of the few-and-far-between bright spots so far, Shanahan said, "I think that sounds like a good idea. In fact, yes. We're going to go ahead and incorporate that into our plan as well -- using more of our guys who actually make plays."

Shanahan was followed at the podium by several of the players, led by Robert Griffin III.

Griffin said nothing of importance, besides thanking the fans for their support, and suggesting they put on their Adidas cross-trainers and jog to Subway to enjoy what's left of Subtember.

Alfred Morris spoke for a few minutes, getting a chuckle from those in attendance when he asked what an R8 was. He also said that he was excited about appearing on an upcoming episode of Mike Rowe's "Pimp My Treehouse," in which Rowe and a home-renovating team will redecorate the "fort" that Morris has lived in since 1996.

Jarvis Jenkins said his rehab is coming along nicely. He's not injured, but Dr. Drew has almost convinced him to quit HGH altogether.

Brandon Merriweather offered no insight as to whether he's considering a return to the Redskins for 8 plays next year.

Team owner Dan Snyder concluded the press conference by reassuring us all that he would never change his name to "What the **** do I have to do to build a consistent winner."






OK, OK. I'm done laughing at myself, my team, and our struggles to this point. Here's to hoping we all get to laugh at the Lions Sunday around 4pm.

HAIL.
 
Lol.....very nice.
 
lBrandon Merriweather offered no insight as to whether he's considering a return to the Redskins for 8 plays next year.

The Skins should receive an exemption to be able to pay Meriweather less than the vet minimum for the 8 plays he appears in, per year. What do you think is a fair salary ? About $40,000 ? Or maybe Griffin can pay him in the form of Subway Ham Sandwiches for a year.

Oh, and a roster exemption, as well
 

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