Good morning! Anyone up, yet? Let's get Day 2 going. Can only be here 6 or 7 hours before get off for the day.
Let's see if Morton's Steakhouse sealed the deal last night.
Time for cup of coffee #3.
Dan Snyder is awake
Cont.
The basement of Redskins Park. Day 2
The danny opened his eyes and focused. He had thought this was all a bad dream, being drugged and locked up on the first day of free agency. But the tightness of his straightjacket said otherwise.
He looked around and was going to resume screaming about how everone's jobs would be terminated, when he heard the door start to open. A ray of sunlight pierced the darkness.
DANNY: "Allen? Shannahan? Is that you?"
A frightened figure started to retreat, but before he could close the door, the danny yelled "Please! Please don't go! Who's there?"
WATERBOY: "It's me sir, the waterboy"
THE DANNY: "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU SERFS NEVER TO COME DOWN HERE! I KEEP MY SAM BRADFORD ROOKIE CARDS DOWN HERE!"
WATERBOY: "Sorry sir, I'll leave"
DANNY: "No! No, wait. I need your help. I need you to go over to my jacket and get my cell phone"
WATERBOY: "But sir, last year you said if I ever looked at you again or came within ten feet of you, you'd fire my whole family"
THE DANNY: "Hey, I was just playing. Gotta keep order around here ya know. Now be a good boy and get my phone"
WATEBOY: "Yes sir"
THE DANNY: "Good, good. Now, get in the menu and hit "V". That's it.
WATEBOY: "Victoria Secrets for Men?"
THE DANNY: "NO!"
WATEBOY: "Viagra?"
THE DANNY: NO! NO!
WATEBOY: "Vinnie?"
THE DANNY: Yes! Yes! Now dial and put it on speaker phone"
WATEBOY: Yes sir"
Ring
Ring
Ashburn Homeless Shelter"
THE DANNY: "Who?
Ashburn Homeless Shelter"
THE DANNY: I'm trying to reach Vinnie Cerratto. Why is his number ringing there?"
"We have someone here claiming to be Vinnie Ceratto. He had his number forwarded here. Claims he used to run some semi-pro football team. Said he and his boss were addicted to fantasy football, and that when he lost his job he kept playing on the internet and lost his whole savings. Would you like to speak to him?"
THE DANNY: "Yes! Yes! Chop Chop!"
Vinnie: "Hello?"
THE DANNY: Vinnie! Vinnie! Is that you?
Vinnie: SIIIIR! I knew you'd call. I just knew it! I tried to come by the Park a few weeks ago sir, because I knew you'd need my help with free agency. But the guards, sir. The guards..........they beat me. Said it was on your orders, but I knew better than that. I knew there had been some kind of mistake. But they just kept beating me and laughing at me. I just got out of the hospital last week"
THE DANNY: SHUT UP VINNIE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THAT. Er, I mean, that's too bad, How horrible"
Vinnie: How can I help sir?
THE DANNY: You have to come by the Park. I'm being held hostage in the basement by Allen and Shanahan and they are runing the team!"
Vinnie: But sir, the guards.
Bell in the background
Vinnie: Sir, I have to go. It's lunch time. THey feed us good here, and no one yells at us or beats us"
THE DANNY: VINNIE! VINNIE! DON'T GO! Do you hear me? DON'T GOOOOOOOOOO
Vinnie: Bye sir. Hold my place in line boys!
Click
THE DANNY: "Vinnie? QUICK, re-dial him"
WATEBOY: "Sir, you battery just went dead"
THE DANNY: ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU PEONS TO KEEP MY PHONES CHARGED???!!! I'LL FIRE YOU, I'LL FIRE YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!! I'LL BUY WHOEVER THEY WORK FOR AND FIRE THEM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Waterboys runs for the door
THE DANNY: COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE LOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
THE DANNY: AAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
to be continued
maybe
 }})
We need some FA news....Sarge has got too much time on his hands. Can't wait for third episode.
