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- Joined
- Apr 11, 2009
- Messages
- 49,341
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- Location
- Greensboro, NC
- Military Branch
- Alma Mater
It's Christmas eve and you're 7 years old. As you struggle futilely against sleep, your little kid head is full of tantalizing excitement. You slip into slumber filled with little boy fantasies of the perfect toy just hours away. A new SST rocket car with a t-shaped rip cord you could send rocketing down your neighborhood street at light speed. A Strange Change machine you could create dinosaurs and monsters with. A Creepy Crawlers set which allowed you to churn out endless sets of rubber spiders and bugs. Or maybe the ultimate toy on any kid of my era's wishlist, a Johnny Seven OMA (One Man Army) rifle. Oh that Johnny Seven - complete with grenade launcher, anti-tank rocket, tommy gun, and a few other tools to kill imaginary enemy soldiers with. That was the ultimate prize, not visions of sugar plums, dancing in my 7 year old head.
And then suddenly, Christmas morning is here. You leap from bed, dash down the hallway full of anticipation and glee, and find yourself looking at a couple of gerbils and a wooden rifle.
This is the life of a Washington Football fan.
It's the holiday season once again. This year, in a somewhat welcome change, our 'Commanders' sit precariously in the final NFC Wildcard spot. For a month this young team, full of new talent and hope, has had the chance to all but salt away a playoff appearance. All that had to be done was to vanquish a lesser opponent in the New York Giants, or to pull off an upset of the San Francisco 49ers on the road.
They simply could not do it. Any of it.
And so we now sit, not rife with confidence that we'll keep our precarious hold on the final playoff spot, but filled with dread that some gerbils and a wooden rifle wait for us on the other side of that door.
But these aren't the 'Redskins' of the past 20 years logic screams. These new DC footballers are young, talented, a scrappy bunch. They've won games no one gave them a chance to win. Even this season, the Commanders were the first team to lay a smackdown on the seemingly unbeatable Philadelphia Eagles. It is possible that Johnny Seven OMA lies waiting for us just out of sight.
But then we remember who we are - 'Commanders' fans - who seemingly just can't have nice things. We see our Offensive Coordinator, creator of a pretty dominant rushing attack but who eshews it at the worst possible times for his love affair with the passing game. Under center, we've got shaky and flaky and a promising rookie we are inexplicably terrified to try. Pick your poison. Our OL, previously a strength of the squad, is a patchwork mess, never the same combination 2 weeks in a row. And our defense, the savior of the 2022 season and the sole reason we currently cling desperately to that final playoff spot, is riddled with injuries. And then there is Ron Rivera, whose love for going for it on 4th and 1 instead of kicking easy FGs is surpassed only by the penchant for officiating crews to throw head-scratching penalty flags on us.
Our position, were we any other team, shouldn't seem desperate. We finish with 2 home games. Sunday we take on the Cleveland Browns with a Deshaun Watson clearly trying to work out the kinks (apparently without the benefit of multiple masseuses). Watson has struggled and there's really no rational reason to fear he will get his happy ending on Sunday. The Browns are awful against the run, and we have one of the most potent rushing attacks in the NFL. That *should* bode well for us. But we have elected in this moment, after weeks of doggedly sticking with Taylor Heinicke at QB, to make a change under center. Anyone who thinks they know how that will turn out is a liar. We'll all find out together on Sunday.
If the good guys can eke out a win at home against the Browns, there's a chance.
They then face one of the better Dallas Cowboy teams in recent memory with a healthy Dak Prescott under center. But even this contest is shrouded in mystery. Should the division-leading Eagles fall short Sunday against the New Orleans Saints, Dallas will be playing for the NFC East title in the final game of the season. If, as expected, the Eagles beat the Saints, Dallas may use the final game to rest key starters making the prospects of Washington sealing a playoff spot a little more promising.
Take care of business against the Browns. Hope to beat a Dallas team that has nothing to play for in the closer. We can do this.
I think.
I hope.
It could happen.
Fuck!
We dream of that ultimate holiday payoff we so deserve to experience as fans. But in our hearts, you know we just can't help but expect those gerbils and that damned wooden rifle.
And then suddenly, Christmas morning is here. You leap from bed, dash down the hallway full of anticipation and glee, and find yourself looking at a couple of gerbils and a wooden rifle.
This is the life of a Washington Football fan.
It's the holiday season once again. This year, in a somewhat welcome change, our 'Commanders' sit precariously in the final NFC Wildcard spot. For a month this young team, full of new talent and hope, has had the chance to all but salt away a playoff appearance. All that had to be done was to vanquish a lesser opponent in the New York Giants, or to pull off an upset of the San Francisco 49ers on the road.
They simply could not do it. Any of it.
And so we now sit, not rife with confidence that we'll keep our precarious hold on the final playoff spot, but filled with dread that some gerbils and a wooden rifle wait for us on the other side of that door.
But these aren't the 'Redskins' of the past 20 years logic screams. These new DC footballers are young, talented, a scrappy bunch. They've won games no one gave them a chance to win. Even this season, the Commanders were the first team to lay a smackdown on the seemingly unbeatable Philadelphia Eagles. It is possible that Johnny Seven OMA lies waiting for us just out of sight.
But then we remember who we are - 'Commanders' fans - who seemingly just can't have nice things. We see our Offensive Coordinator, creator of a pretty dominant rushing attack but who eshews it at the worst possible times for his love affair with the passing game. Under center, we've got shaky and flaky and a promising rookie we are inexplicably terrified to try. Pick your poison. Our OL, previously a strength of the squad, is a patchwork mess, never the same combination 2 weeks in a row. And our defense, the savior of the 2022 season and the sole reason we currently cling desperately to that final playoff spot, is riddled with injuries. And then there is Ron Rivera, whose love for going for it on 4th and 1 instead of kicking easy FGs is surpassed only by the penchant for officiating crews to throw head-scratching penalty flags on us.
Our position, were we any other team, shouldn't seem desperate. We finish with 2 home games. Sunday we take on the Cleveland Browns with a Deshaun Watson clearly trying to work out the kinks (apparently without the benefit of multiple masseuses). Watson has struggled and there's really no rational reason to fear he will get his happy ending on Sunday. The Browns are awful against the run, and we have one of the most potent rushing attacks in the NFL. That *should* bode well for us. But we have elected in this moment, after weeks of doggedly sticking with Taylor Heinicke at QB, to make a change under center. Anyone who thinks they know how that will turn out is a liar. We'll all find out together on Sunday.
If the good guys can eke out a win at home against the Browns, there's a chance.
They then face one of the better Dallas Cowboy teams in recent memory with a healthy Dak Prescott under center. But even this contest is shrouded in mystery. Should the division-leading Eagles fall short Sunday against the New Orleans Saints, Dallas will be playing for the NFC East title in the final game of the season. If, as expected, the Eagles beat the Saints, Dallas may use the final game to rest key starters making the prospects of Washington sealing a playoff spot a little more promising.
Take care of business against the Browns. Hope to beat a Dallas team that has nothing to play for in the closer. We can do this.
I think.
I hope.
It could happen.
Fuck!
We dream of that ultimate holiday payoff we so deserve to experience as fans. But in our hearts, you know we just can't help but expect those gerbils and that damned wooden rifle.
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