Norvsferatu: Or Killing Norvousness

If you knew the moment we flipped to prime time...
If you knew as soon as Caleb Williams stole the lead with less than a minute left in the fourth quarter
If you knew as soon as Jayden Daniels threw an interception on his penultimate drive in the fourth quarter
If you knew the moment Olimade Zacheus dropped the easiest catch of his life on third down
If you knew the moment that the ref threw the flag to give the Falcons an untimed free kick at the end of the game
If you knew we were going to lose each and every one of those times then you, like Bram Stoker's Lucy, have been bitten by Norvsferatu. You are the maiden love of Van Helsing who is at risk of becoming one of the undead... and let's be honest, who among us hasn't wandered like a zombie since 2000 crying out for the Redskins to find some "brains."

But...

In most stories, even though he will surely come back, Norvsferatu is ultimately staked through the heart. He he succumbs to the light of the sun as it rises. So, don't invite Norvsferatu into your house. Don't be a Lucy. Don't even be his willing assistant Igor who hunts for his master. Don't even be the Abbie Norval brain, that Igor seeks to bring back to life.

Instead, cook with garlic, carry a silver cross, sing Hail to the Redskins, and find it in within you to be the sunrise that banishes Norvsferatu.

Think of all the Norvsferatu moments that I haven't even listed that we've overcome this season. I didn't even mumble about Hocculi and his crooked, crooked reffing or how tackling Terry McLaurin before the ball gets there is legal most downs whereas our guy turning and playing for the ball will get him flagged seven times out of ten. If you would, I want you to list every Norvsferatu we have killed this season be it as mundane as finally beating the Giants to overcoming clock malfunctions. ... And if you like one that's on my list and want to kill that one again, there's never any harm in putting another stake through Norvsferatu's chest for that rat will always find his way back.

Let no one hear be Norvsferatu's bride anymore. Let no one pull a Lucy. Let us raise hail against him.

Anyone with me?
 
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If you knew the moment Lattimore's hammy flared up again that we were going to lose... Don't bare your neck and ask to be bitten. Wrap Marshon's leg in rosary beads and pray the Norvousness out of it.
 
That kid standing behind Center is going to one day solve world hunger. He's special and he's ours. There was a reason we stayed hitched to this wagon and suffered unbearably for the very large majority of the past 32 years under the most putrid of owners. Jayden was that reason.

When we one day build him a statue outside the new RFK, I hope that they consider building one for Greg Zeurlein as well. Thank you, Greg. Thank you.
 
Canadian Hog said:
That kid standing behind Center is going to one day solve world hunger. He's special and he's ours. There was a reason we stayed hitched to this wagon and suffered unbearably for the very large majority of the past 32 years under the most putrid of owners. Jayden was that reason.

When we one day build him a statue outside the new RFK, I hope that they consider building one for Greg Zeurlein as well. Thank you, Greg. Thank you.
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Yup, the previous regime would have been put off by his poor golf swing and traded 3 first rounders to the bears for caleb.
 
Nice post burgold.
I must admit I initially thought it was going to relate back to the horrible Norvulous Era of our past pre the horrendous Snyder Era
 
If you knew the moment jayden clutched his ribs and went to the sideline it was Rg3 all over again, you suffer from norvousness.
 
I think our woes can be traced back to Norv. The John Kent Cooke era in which he let Norv linger despite endless 7-9 and 8-8 seasons set us up for Snyder. The established this pattern of starting strong and then failing and falling back to "medium." I think it's one of the reasons that phrases like "Keep it medium" annoy me. Maybe we shouldn't get too heady, but why not shoot for the moon? Why not believe we can be better than we should be? This season we have no right to have eleven wins or make the playoffs. We have a first year coaching staff, a rookie QB, a ridiculous amount of free agency turnover that was designed around getting blue collar guys and not blue chippers. We lack stars everywhere.

And yet, we went toe to toe with the Ravens and Steelers while beating the Eagles.

Norv could never have done this. Keeping it medium would have meant playing back to the law of averages and being satisfied with doubling last years win total or more realistically being hyped by a fifty percent improvement.

So eff Norvsferatu and Snydilla (need a better monster name for Snyder. Help Boone and others). Let's kill our vampires and live not in fear but in the sun.
 
heisenberg said:
If you knew the moment jayden clutched his ribs and went to the sideline it was Rg3 all over again, you suffer from norvousness.
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Oh, hell yeah... or when they bent his knee all the way backwards yesterday. For a moment, I thought it would be over.
 
I have been fairly calm (aside from the Eagles game - I was a wreck) because of the kid under center. He masks all holes. It would be nice to surround him with more talent to see just what he can do. But he is a difference maker. Atlanta scored last night and I didn't even flinch. Why?

Jayden Daniels.
 
Never lost faith last week or this week.. As soon as Davante dropped the ball last week I knew wed win, and as soon as we won the coin toss I knew wed win this week too.
 
Warhead36 said:
Never lost faith last week or this week.. As soon as Davante dropped the ball last week I knew wed win, and as soon as we won the coin toss I knew wed win this week too.
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We have a Van Helsing sighting!!!

I admit my faith waivered after the three and out and went below Merianas depth once the refs called the PI. I saw that kick sail straight and true towards the center and never for a second imagined it could fall short.
 
Bump. Just because I think there ought to be a place for fun-nerdish posts. Plus, I think we have plenty more vampires to stake before we shed our Norvousness or our Eeyoredom.
 
If you knew the moment Wylie was called for being downfield...
If you knew the moment the ball hit the upright...
If you knew the moment the stars aligned to pit us against Tampa Bay again in a primetime game...

It just might be time to know something new.
 
If you just knew the moment you saw JD5 go spinning like a ragdoll on that sideline run....
I was watching with a buddy at his GFs house and all 3 of us gasped in horror at that hit. Then having to explain to his GF the RG3 flashbacks
 
bowhunter said:
If you just knew the moment you saw JD5 go spinning like a ragdoll on that sideline run....
I was watching with a buddy at his GFs house and all 3 of us gasped in horror at that hit. Then having to explain to his GF the RG3 flashbacks
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Yeah, me too. There were a couple of those hits.
 
Norvitis.

We have been talking about Norvitis, Lucy pulling the ball away, Redskins PTSD etc. ever since this forum came into existence.

I'll just say what I've always said. Right or wrong, it's going to take more than one winning season to kill it out. Alot of damage has been done over 30 years and it takes time.
I'll tell you when mine hit last night: That play where the Bucs lineman rolled into #5's knee. Looked bad and even my 17 yr old son was going "No,No No ! Please, don't do this to us again!

Alot of scar tissue to be broken up and freedom of movement to get back in Redskins Nation. As long as they take care of #5 and give him support, he might be the doctor that's able to eradicate it.

Thank Goodness the doink went in the Redskins favor!
 
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