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I must start off by saying, if anyone here is a conspiracy theorist - that's your thing, I'm not here to knock it. I'm just curious about why some of them are even a thing, and why the people who believe in them think anyone who doesn't is an idiot.
I have a friend. We'll call him JR, because that's his name. When I moved into his neighborhood (he was on one corner, I was directly across the street on the other corner) we were 5 years old and instantly became best friends. Fast forward 35 years, and we have always remained like brothers. He is a very intelligent person, and has never given me any reason to believe that he is either an idiot or mentally unstable. Not even a hint of it. What I don't understand, is he is not just fascinated with conspiracy theories, he believes every last one that comes along, and belittles people who don't agree. To the point he has destroyed two marriages over his ridiculous rants and beliefs.
We all know the typical conspiracy theories, and the more sensible among us realize why most if not all of them are ridiculous. But sometimes we can understand why intelligent people may be swayed, however irrational we may find it. In this category I put things like the Roswell conspiracy, the moon landing, climate change, and 9/11. For transparency reasons, I do not believe we faked the moon landing (the main thing that sold me was Russia verifying that we achieved the feat), I do not believe 9/11 was an inside job (yes fire melts steel, and yes pressure from a collapse blows out windows several stories below), I do not believe we house aliens and their technology at Area 51, and while I believe climate change is real, I believe it is a natural cycle that we do not contribute quite as much to as the proponents would like us to believe.
Now that we got that out of the way, I would like to discuss some theories I consider absolutely comical, ridiculous, and/or downright absurd not only on their surface, but especially when it's broken down to try and convince you to believe. Yes, everything I am about to mention is an actual conspiracy theory that has thousands of believers. Some you know, some will make you scratch your head. And yes, my dear friend JR believes every single one of them.
1. The sun does not exist. I shit you not.
Believers of this theory insist that once upon a time, what we know as the sun was a very real, physical thing that sustained life on our planet. What they also believe, is that some time around the 1950s, it was running out of gas. So what did we do? We built a new one, of course. Not only were the United States and China able to create an artificial sun through nuclear fusion that would produce enough energy to sustain life on Earth, but they secretly managed to launch it into the sky too. When you try to debate any of this with a believer, they point you to the following links as "proof."
https://futurism.com/artificial-sun-china-temperature-record
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1116733/pg1
2. The government creates and patents viruses to kill us all.
This one has been around for a while, but has recently gained traction with the Ebola and Coronavirus scares. Even though it's never been hidden from public record for the decades that it's been in practice, suddenly conspiracy theorists cite it as evidence, as if it's some diabolical hidden horror they personally discovered. Yes, it is a fact that there are patents for just about every virus you've ever heard of. That must mean the governments who patented them created them, right? I mean, what more proof could you need? Well, it might sound bad to some. But under the surface after doing very basic research (that free tool conspiracy theorists seem to willfully ignore the existence of) you learn it's not even remotely what it sounds like. There is a very good reason patented viruses exist. It allows companies to study the virus with the intent to develop a vaccine from it, while blocking countries or corporations from restricting research around it. This not only makes it easier for viruses to be studied and hopefully kept in check, but it prevents more sinister groups from monetizing or potentially weaponizing it. This process also allows information on the virus - such as genome sequencing - to remain in the public domain for research purposes.
3. WHERE'S PAUL REVERE? THE REPTILIANS ARE COMING!
This theory states that large shape-shifting reptiles are taking over and controlling the world, causing complete chaos and sit at the top of the most powerful governments and corporations. Let me repeat. There are educated adults in this world who believe the world is controlled by shape-shifting reptiles that take on human form. If that sounds absolutely batshit crazy to you, that's because it is. David Icke really runs with this theory, even ridiculously citing the bible as a source of proof of reptilians. And yes, they have videos to "prove" it's real. Noted famous reptilians include: Justin Bieber, John Kerry, Queen Elizabeth II, Jack Nicholson, Barack Obama, and Nikola Tesla.
4. Those trails behind planes in the sky are obviously poison being sprayed all over us for population control.
Ah yes, chemtrails. I have a personal attachment to this one, because an argument years ago that I had online with a chemtrail truther went viral and I was brought on to a local radio station to talk about it for a little bit because they thought it was hilarious. It was my morbid dark humor vs some random woman's "facts" and she never caught on that I was not only insinuating she's an idiot and a nutjob, but I was making zero attempt to have a serious discussion since the topic was so ridiculous to me. Anyway, this one revolves around that white trail we see forming behind planes that are flying at certain altitudes. In reality, this is the formation of ice crystals caused when the plane disturbs the ultra cold air at high altitudes, causing the moisture in the air to instantaneously freeze. You can easily watch this with a pair of binoculars and see that this is exactly what is happening, yet the chemtrail truthers will argue until they nearly have an aneurysm that it's poison being sprayed on us to control the population. Their "evidence" includes that we see it a lot more than we used to. Well yeah, there are more planes and more people to see them. They also make claims that everywhere with a high concentration of these trails has higher rates of cancer, birth defects, heart disease, etc. This one is actually a fact. But there's a simple truth behind it - the planes are flying over the largest population centers, because that's where *gasp* most airports are. Holy fuck, who likes truth when they're spraying us with poison? The pinnacle of any argument against a truther is when you ask them the simplest question - if they do this for depopulation, why is the population increasing at a record rate? The answers to this vary, but typically they will inform you the numbers are a lie and the Census Bureau is in on it.
5. The Earth is flat. If you can't see that, you're clearly an idiot.
Flat Earthers are the best. Netflix even has a wildly amusing documentary on them called Behind The Curve, where their experiments to prove a flat Earth repeatedly result in proving a round Earth, but evidence be damned. On Youtube, there is a video showing a guy pouring water on a ball, and it all cascades off. He then pours water on a plate and it collects. This was his demonstration of how flooding proves a flat Earth, since water can't collect on a round surface. There is one major fault I pointed out to him that taints his experiment. I said try adding some gravity around that ball and try it again. Of course, that was met with claims of me being in on the round Earth conspiracy and being too blind to think for myself. Alrighty then. The most disturbing thing to me about the flat Earth movement, is it is rapidly growing, and a huge amount of their members are very highly educated. This group of believers is the absolute worst for attacking you verbally if you disagree, but they are very entertaining as well.
There are many more conspiracies out there, some are probably even true. These are not among them. I didn't discuss vaccines, because there are too many tiers to that one, and it's become very politicized even though the science against all of the theories is overwhelming. I hope you enjoyed it, now if you'll excuse me I have to go shed my skin and hang out with the Biebs.
I have a friend. We'll call him JR, because that's his name. When I moved into his neighborhood (he was on one corner, I was directly across the street on the other corner) we were 5 years old and instantly became best friends. Fast forward 35 years, and we have always remained like brothers. He is a very intelligent person, and has never given me any reason to believe that he is either an idiot or mentally unstable. Not even a hint of it. What I don't understand, is he is not just fascinated with conspiracy theories, he believes every last one that comes along, and belittles people who don't agree. To the point he has destroyed two marriages over his ridiculous rants and beliefs.
We all know the typical conspiracy theories, and the more sensible among us realize why most if not all of them are ridiculous. But sometimes we can understand why intelligent people may be swayed, however irrational we may find it. In this category I put things like the Roswell conspiracy, the moon landing, climate change, and 9/11. For transparency reasons, I do not believe we faked the moon landing (the main thing that sold me was Russia verifying that we achieved the feat), I do not believe 9/11 was an inside job (yes fire melts steel, and yes pressure from a collapse blows out windows several stories below), I do not believe we house aliens and their technology at Area 51, and while I believe climate change is real, I believe it is a natural cycle that we do not contribute quite as much to as the proponents would like us to believe.
Now that we got that out of the way, I would like to discuss some theories I consider absolutely comical, ridiculous, and/or downright absurd not only on their surface, but especially when it's broken down to try and convince you to believe. Yes, everything I am about to mention is an actual conspiracy theory that has thousands of believers. Some you know, some will make you scratch your head. And yes, my dear friend JR believes every single one of them.
1. The sun does not exist. I shit you not.
Believers of this theory insist that once upon a time, what we know as the sun was a very real, physical thing that sustained life on our planet. What they also believe, is that some time around the 1950s, it was running out of gas. So what did we do? We built a new one, of course. Not only were the United States and China able to create an artificial sun through nuclear fusion that would produce enough energy to sustain life on Earth, but they secretly managed to launch it into the sky too. When you try to debate any of this with a believer, they point you to the following links as "proof."
https://futurism.com/artificial-sun-china-temperature-record
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1116733/pg1
2. The government creates and patents viruses to kill us all.
This one has been around for a while, but has recently gained traction with the Ebola and Coronavirus scares. Even though it's never been hidden from public record for the decades that it's been in practice, suddenly conspiracy theorists cite it as evidence, as if it's some diabolical hidden horror they personally discovered. Yes, it is a fact that there are patents for just about every virus you've ever heard of. That must mean the governments who patented them created them, right? I mean, what more proof could you need? Well, it might sound bad to some. But under the surface after doing very basic research (that free tool conspiracy theorists seem to willfully ignore the existence of) you learn it's not even remotely what it sounds like. There is a very good reason patented viruses exist. It allows companies to study the virus with the intent to develop a vaccine from it, while blocking countries or corporations from restricting research around it. This not only makes it easier for viruses to be studied and hopefully kept in check, but it prevents more sinister groups from monetizing or potentially weaponizing it. This process also allows information on the virus - such as genome sequencing - to remain in the public domain for research purposes.
3. WHERE'S PAUL REVERE? THE REPTILIANS ARE COMING!
This theory states that large shape-shifting reptiles are taking over and controlling the world, causing complete chaos and sit at the top of the most powerful governments and corporations. Let me repeat. There are educated adults in this world who believe the world is controlled by shape-shifting reptiles that take on human form. If that sounds absolutely batshit crazy to you, that's because it is. David Icke really runs with this theory, even ridiculously citing the bible as a source of proof of reptilians. And yes, they have videos to "prove" it's real. Noted famous reptilians include: Justin Bieber, John Kerry, Queen Elizabeth II, Jack Nicholson, Barack Obama, and Nikola Tesla.
4. Those trails behind planes in the sky are obviously poison being sprayed all over us for population control.
Ah yes, chemtrails. I have a personal attachment to this one, because an argument years ago that I had online with a chemtrail truther went viral and I was brought on to a local radio station to talk about it for a little bit because they thought it was hilarious. It was my morbid dark humor vs some random woman's "facts" and she never caught on that I was not only insinuating she's an idiot and a nutjob, but I was making zero attempt to have a serious discussion since the topic was so ridiculous to me. Anyway, this one revolves around that white trail we see forming behind planes that are flying at certain altitudes. In reality, this is the formation of ice crystals caused when the plane disturbs the ultra cold air at high altitudes, causing the moisture in the air to instantaneously freeze. You can easily watch this with a pair of binoculars and see that this is exactly what is happening, yet the chemtrail truthers will argue until they nearly have an aneurysm that it's poison being sprayed on us to control the population. Their "evidence" includes that we see it a lot more than we used to. Well yeah, there are more planes and more people to see them. They also make claims that everywhere with a high concentration of these trails has higher rates of cancer, birth defects, heart disease, etc. This one is actually a fact. But there's a simple truth behind it - the planes are flying over the largest population centers, because that's where *gasp* most airports are. Holy fuck, who likes truth when they're spraying us with poison? The pinnacle of any argument against a truther is when you ask them the simplest question - if they do this for depopulation, why is the population increasing at a record rate? The answers to this vary, but typically they will inform you the numbers are a lie and the Census Bureau is in on it.
5. The Earth is flat. If you can't see that, you're clearly an idiot.
Flat Earthers are the best. Netflix even has a wildly amusing documentary on them called Behind The Curve, where their experiments to prove a flat Earth repeatedly result in proving a round Earth, but evidence be damned. On Youtube, there is a video showing a guy pouring water on a ball, and it all cascades off. He then pours water on a plate and it collects. This was his demonstration of how flooding proves a flat Earth, since water can't collect on a round surface. There is one major fault I pointed out to him that taints his experiment. I said try adding some gravity around that ball and try it again. Of course, that was met with claims of me being in on the round Earth conspiracy and being too blind to think for myself. Alrighty then. The most disturbing thing to me about the flat Earth movement, is it is rapidly growing, and a huge amount of their members are very highly educated. This group of believers is the absolute worst for attacking you verbally if you disagree, but they are very entertaining as well.
There are many more conspiracies out there, some are probably even true. These are not among them. I didn't discuss vaccines, because there are too many tiers to that one, and it's become very politicized even though the science against all of the theories is overwhelming. I hope you enjoyed it, now if you'll excuse me I have to go shed my skin and hang out with the Biebs.