BGO Fantasy Football League

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This thread needs a little more friendly smack talk, and some taunting.
 
McD5 said:
This thread needs a little more friendly smack talk, and some taunting.
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Fine.

I will crush you all, you all suck! Myteam will be champion!







please ignore the post five posts above this one. Thank you.
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Goaldeje said:
Fine.

I will crush you all, you all suck! Myteam will be champion!
please ignore the post five posts above this one. Thank you.
Posted via BGO Mobile Device
Click to expand...


:rotflmao:It's a long season. Just make the playoffs.


honorary_hog said:
I'd talk some junk, but I'm content to allow my dominance to speak for itself. :)
Click to expand...

There you go.
 
With Cranky Crunkingston on IR this week (read: vacation) it falls on me to provide my far superior insight and analysis into the BGO Ballers fantasy league this week.

Before you ask, I'll just tell you up front. No. No matter how hard you beg, plead, and cry, I will not continue to do the previews and reviews once Spanky returns. Even if every league member sends me a case of beer (homebrew for you, Boone) I won't do it. But PM me for my address anyway. Doesn't hurt to try, right? :)

While I won't be sharing my infinite wisdom going forward, I'm proud to be called upon this week to provide my expertise, and to do you all the favor of giving you at least a short break from Janky's drivel.

HogSportsNet: Week in Review/Look Ahead

There was just one 30-plus point annihilation in a Week Five that featured a series of tight contests. The juggernautical root-of-all-awesomeness, known affectionately as WRS, introduced the dwarves of Moria to the dark side of the woodshed in a 113.44 to 79.06 beating.

Word is that all seven dwarves have been released, replaced on the active roster by "Cruddy, Muddy, Sorry, Sucky, Crappy, Weaksauce, and 'DOH!" (Sorry, just being accurate, fair and balanced.) ;)

For some reason, the dwarves continue to expect Reggie Bush to break out, leaving him on the active roster, but the only things that are broken are Reggie's leg; and the dwarves dreams of a championship.

Fun Nicknames: WRS: "No Ganoes is Good Ganoes without" Graham Ganoe; dwarves: Rob "Ma Ma Ma Myyyy" Bironas

This week, WRS (4-1) will take on LSF (3-2) in a battle of likely playoff teams. The dwarves (1-4) are set to get beat again. This time by the Shanahanigans (2-3.)

*

In other Week Five action, the Fat Alberts kept pace with WRS and Om Buds Man with a 104.34 to 86.64 win over Absurd Philosophy. The Fatties were led by Matt Forte, who suddenly seemed to remember he's a pretty good back. They also snagged 29.64 points from QB Phillip Rivers who seems to have forgotten he doesn't have VJack or LT anymore.

Ray Rice did his part for the Absurdities as they tried to pull a "hog at the bar near closing time" and hang with the Fatties; but he didn't get much help. Roddy White added nearly 18 points; but the rest of the 'Surds must've thought it was their bye week.

Fun Nicknames:Fatties: Arian "Nation" Foster, Neil "Ritz" Rackers; AP: Mark "Dirty" Sanchez, David "Green" Akers, Greg "Mary Kate" Olsen

Week Six will see the Hey Hey Heyroes (4-1) taking on the unmanaged beamish squad (2-3); while the 2-3 Absurdities face a tall task in the 4-1 Omers.

*

The much-anticipated Battle of the BGOwners didn't disappoint as the matchup between Om and Boone was decided by just 12.12 points.

The Omers "omercame" a 2.74-point performance from starting QB Matt Schaub as Chris Johnson and Hakeem Nicks combined for over 50 points . The newbs featured a more balanced attack, but in football, points are prefered over balance. (Which, of course, is good news for Clinton Portis.)

While the newbs have struggled to a 1-4 start, they're a much better team than their record suggests. They are the Dallas Cowboys of the BGO Ballers; and I'm sure Boone will appreciate the comparison. Meanwhile, Om Buds Man reminds this humble prognosticator of the Kansas City Chiefs. Yep. They're good. But are they as good as their record? In both cases, time will tell.

Fun Nicknames:OBM: Jason "Dim" Witten; Antonio "Pearly" Gates, Carson "Rosie" Palmer

*

The Shanahanigans will have some adjustments to make this week after Mark Clayton was placed on IR. Frankly, I'm surprised it took this long. I remember when the guy was one of Dan Marino's favorite targets, and that was in like, '86. Joseph Addai is also questionable. (For the game, not a judgement on his character.)

Even with the injury issues, the Shanny's should be OK. Kicker Josh Scobee hung 22 on Chester Shooters in a losing effort, and is expected to be 100% this week.

Chester Shooters got a solid top-to-bottom performance from the entire roster, led by Miles Austin with 24.90 points. Mason Crosby added 9 points, and a very critical DOINK! for those of us who care about "reality football."

Fun Nicknames: Shooters: Ryan "Joy...Pain...Sunshine," Torain; David "Baby you can drive my" Garrard, Joseph "Do or" Addai

Hooter Shooters (2-3) will take on the newbs (1-4) this week, in what should be an intriguing matchup, despite the records. The Shanahanigans (2-3) will be the recipient of this week's sacrificing of the dwarves.

*

And finally, beamish earned its second win of the season without lifting a finger. Somewhere Boone must be fuming, knowing an unmanaged team has doubled his win total, while he fruitlessly "fights his guts out." At least he has some of the world's best homemade adult beverage in which to drown his sorrows.

The loss dropped LSF from the ranks of the one-loss teams. No analysis here, just a simple, "neener, neener, neeeener!"

Fun Nicknames:beamish: LeSean "Hatfield" McCoy, Brandon "We are" Marshall; LSF: Austin "Border" Collie, Donald "NASCAR" Driver, and Drew "A nickname here would be such a softball I'm not even going to swing at it" Brees.

Both of these squads face buzzsaws this week, with LSF (3-2) taking on the league-leading WRS's, and beamish (2-3) squaring off with the Fatties.


In conclusion, y'all suck. :moon: Peace.

;)
 
Last edited:
I appreciate the props brother - seriously. Getting spanked by Om's 'auto-drafted' team, with a key player out on a bye week - particularly when I had a good week - well, lets just say that took the wind out of my sails. All I needed was a few points in the Monday night game to prevail, and my player goes out in the first quarter with an injury. Bummer. But like you said, I seem to be meeting every team out there on their best week.

The newb is getting annihilated :(

Almost enough to turn one off fantasy football entirely. But I'll hang in there for the season. A little luck would be nice though :)
 
Boone said:
Almost enough to turn one off fantasy football entirely. But I'll hang in there for the season. A little luck would be nice though :)
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Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, bro. I didn't play for a few years, for that very reason. I've never had the kind of good fortune that I have so far this year (sans McFadden's hammy. :tantrum:) so I'm really enjoying this.

Don't give up on it though. I'm not any better at this stuff than I was before. I'm just benefitting from other people's cookies crumbling for a change.
 
Boone said:
The newb is getting annihilated :(

Almost enough to turn one off fantasy football entirely. But I'll hang in there for the season. A little luck would be nice though :)
Click to expand...


Great. Now I feel bad for beating you.

I mean, not THAT bad. I will not talk smack, promise.

For now.

:)
 
I'm starting to think this might be my year. Looks like I'm gonna be able to hold off Lanky with McFadden's FOUR TDs on my bench. :guitarist:

It ain't QUITE over, but good game, pal. :cheers:
 
Now it's over. :)

Moving forward, please refer to the WheresRickySanders?'s as "The Cheese," because we now stand alone at the top.
 
What's the next level above "juggernautical awesomeness?" I had FORTY-FOUR POINT EIGHT points from Run DMC on my bench. My quarterback is dead. And I still handled the second-place team by 15 points.

Yep. This is our year. :)
 
Goaldeje said:
You realize if you somehow don't win now, this thread will be epic, right?

Just checking. :)
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The fact that "any given Sunday" has been thrown out in favor of "if you somehow don't win" says all I need to know.

I can hear your knees knocking from here. ;)
 
Ok, I admit to not having been fully invested in this league, given my other is a pay for league. You may be talking me into changing that though.

:)
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Goaldeje said:
Ok, I admit to not having been fully invested in this league, given my other is a pay for league. You may be talking me into changing that though.

:)
Posted via BGO Mobile Device
Click to expand...

*Makes The Rock's "bring it on" motion*

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiinally. The Hog, has come BACK tooooo BGO Ballers!!!

The Hog is sick of these jabronis talking about, "I'm not trying" this, and "I don't care" that. The Hog respectfully points out that...IT DOESN'T MATTER if you try or not! Boone's tried! Lanky's tried! And no one *deep breath* NO...ONE...has anything for the Hog!!!

I've reserved your room. It's at the SmackDown Hotel, at the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard, and Jabroni Drive.

If ya SMELLLLLLLLLLELELELELELELELLLLLLLL what the Hog...is....cookin'!!!!

:drummer:
 
Pffffft. I'm not worried. I remember kicking some Hog ass not too long ago. I look forward to a BBQ in the playoffs. ;-)
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