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When Did I Get Old?


The Legend
Feb 1, 2010
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Waynesboro, VA
Alma Mater
James Madison
My eldest daughter just turned 13 on Wednesday. She is having her party tonight, starting to wind down now, thank God. Almost gave in and put rum in my punch more than once. Would have made the squealing, screaming, giggling and noise a little more bearable.

So what the hell? When did I turn into the "get of my lawn and turn down your music" old man? Sheesh. Half the kids spent the night talking and testing on their cell phones to other people who were here at the party. Yeah, i feel dumber having typed that, much less actually experienced it. And my daughter wonders why we don't get her a cell phone. Good God.

So those of you with older kids, it does get better right? I realize i did some crazy **** when i was a teen, but I don't think my parents wanted to kill me more than a couple of times (they are currently in Europe and sadly cannot corroborate my thesis, though i feel certain they would if they were here). She just turned into a teenager. Do i really have seven more years of this to put up with?

Well. Sorry for venting. Feel free to mock me now.
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My daughter turned 30 early this year. She'll be 31 in a few months. You were saying something about aging? There is so much more for you to go through. Daughters are quite the experience.

Oh yeah, and the money situations never fully end when they are on their own.

No mocking here, bro. My kids are still too young for parties like that, but I remember mine as a kid. Heck, my HS graduation party included a band in my parents' living room (drum set, bass, lead, trombone, sax, a couple of trumpets, all of us screaming and singing like idiots.) We had so many people there, a couple of the girls actually had to eat UNDER the dining room table, because there was no room to eat anywhere else. And at one point, the trombone player walked out on the front porch to play, because she couldn't hear herself inside.

It didn't end until about 4 am. When you think about it, you kinda got off easy. :laugh:
I have no children so I cannot imagine, but as you were describing the scenario, I couldn't help but think of the closest thing I have experienced to your scenario this evening.

You know I am a photographer. We have a contract for several cheerleading competitions throughout the year, like the ones on ESPN but with mostly teenage girls.

First off, there are thousands in attendance at these events so the decibel level is crazy, couple that with the music from the competition and the fact that it is thousands of screaming girls! Wow!

OK, so let me tell you my responsibility. The performances are every 4 minutes. The teams perform, come off the stage, get their team photo done and move on. It is my responsibility to corral these girls after they perform, many of whom are throwing up or injured or some other type of drama, bad performance or whatever. Averaging 25 at a time, I have to gather them after the performance while dealing with the drama, get them lined up on the bleachers, take their picture while trying to sell the coaches on the promos we run to get them to buy photos right there and then! I have 4 minutes to get this done while the next team performs and then do it all over again from 7am to midnight at most of the competitions. Of course there are judges breaks in between, but it is a ride! Of course I have some help, mostly with the selling, but it is like herding cats!

Not sure if you find that as amusing as I do, but I think you understand since you have done similar work. I have to admit, the 6-8 times a year we do this sounds much better than the idea of having a teenage daughter. I know being a father has tremendous rewards, but I am not so sure I am equipped to do it.

Bravo sir! My hat is off to you!

Oh, for those of you who think it doesn't seem worth it, the last competition we did we sold around 1500 team photos at 20 bucks a piece in one weekend. That didn't include the individual station we had set up as well. Of course I am not making that kind of money, but I did get a nice bonus!
El, closest thing I have done to that is Sorority shoots, but that was years ago now. Not quite the same experience, though the drama sounds similar. I actually have much better stories involving sororities, but i think my wife checks up on me here sometime. No sex, honey. Just plenty of boobs.

Anyway, El I can only imagine cheerleader shoots. Sounds like the money was good though. My team just finished a wealthy church in Midlothian and did about 15k, over 5 days.

Your scenario seems much better.
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Posted via BGO Mobile Device
Here is some advice from someone who can't remember not being an old fart.

First, bury your teenagers up to their necks. When turn 21 dig them up and release them. Wish I had done this. My youngest is 17, which raised 3 boys and 1 girl.

Will tell you it is a lot easier to raise boys. If a 13 yr old boy gets out of line you can threaten bodily injury. A girl...she gets crying, bitching, arguing, and assorted other tactics.

Most important thing to do is keep plenty of Makers Mark on hand. Forget any mixers. :biggrin2:

A trick or tip to file away....when she turns 16 and starts driving, you get her a car and put personalized tags on it. Then if she wherever she goes or does you will know.
A trick or tip to file away....when she turns 16 and starts driving, you get her a car and put personalized tags on it. Then if she wherever she goes or does you will know.

Or give her a phone and activate the GPS feature:)
Of course she could be like my 19 yr old son. Him and a buddy went to 'Headlights' (a gentleman's club in Chesapeake) in my wife's Explorer. Week or two later my youngest and her were out somewhere and found a folded piece of paper.

It was printed mapquest directions to Headlights. He was so busted.

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