We made The Onion

[Henry]

We've hit the big time, fellas.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/redskins_hold_press

Redskins Hold Press Conference To Announce They Are Still Sort Of A Football Team

WASHINGTON—Washington Redskins head coach Jim Zorn held a press conference Sunday to reassure fans that, despite an inability to effectively execute their offense, defense, or special teams, the Redskins were still somewhat comparable to a real football team. "It's been a tough season so far, and even though we are 2-4, we still have players, uniforms, Motorola headsets—all the components that technically constitute an NFL team, sort of," Zorn said while grimacing and making a "so-so" gesture with his hand. "Sure, I was stripped of play-calling responsibilities by team management, and I really don't have any clue who will play quarterback for us this Sunday, but I swear to you, in a weird, very convoluted way, we are in the NFL." Placing his hand over the microphone, Zorn then spoke briefly with an unidentified man near the stage, and announced that, for what it's worth, the organization owns the Internet domain name washingtonredskins.com through 2010.

 

[Neophyte]

Funny but a definite sign of the Apocalypse.

You know, I don't ask for much anymore. Pretty much my only desire for my team at the moment is not be a punch line. Apparently even that is too much to ask though.

 

[Sarge]

The danny will be looking to buy us out here soon

 

[Jimbo]

Actually, the Apocalypse will be when Danny fires Vinny........and replaces him with Matt Millen.

 

[Hog Fever]

The danny will be looking to buy us out here soon

No, he'll buy the Onion and make it the official newspaper of the Washington Redskins.

 

[Chris]

Funny but a definite sign of the Apocalypse.

You know, I don't ask for much anymore. Pretty much my only desire for my team at the moment is not be a punch line. Apparently even that is too much to ask though.

That pretty much ended in Detroit.

 

[Miles Monroe]

I thing Danny needs to buy rain gear, because there's a huge **** storm on the horizon.

 

[Jimbo]

It's coming......TIME Magazine cover. "Is Dan Snyder the most hated man in America?" Sounds like a Photoshop project.

 

[Hog Fever]

 

[Neophyte]

One and 15 minutes. Nice.

Wish I could that kind of response time from most help desks I call.

 

[Yusuf06]

Funny but a definite sign of the Apocalypse.

You know, I don't ask for much anymore. Pretty much my only desire for my team at the moment is not be a punch line. Apparently even that is too much to ask though.

My, my, my. What spoiled, ungrateful fans we have.

 

[Lanky Livingston]

really?

you wanna take a cheap shot like that?

lol, he was being sarcastic dude. Turn the switch on your sarcasm-meter to the "on" position.

 

[Yusuf06]

it's on. believe me I got the sarcasm.

but Yusuf should increase your wages for sticking up for him

OK, but fair is fair. I could also make the same case for you and Snyder.

No real harm intended on either of those Mike. Just jokes man. Just jokes. Now come on over here and join in as we sing Kumbaya...

 

[Yusuf06]

The fact that I felt comfortable enough to make that joke should speak volumes. If I actually thought you really were a Snyder apologist, my commentary/wit about you would be a LOT more pointed and acerbic. At least to the degree that it would be appropriate given the tone/culture we have here.

Trust me, I think you're a good guy and when my time comes around I can take it as well as I dish it out. That's just how I roll.