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There Are No Limits To Stupidity


Super Bowl MVP
Apr 1, 2011
Reaction score
Virginia Beach, VA
Military Branch
I see and hear dumb things all the time, but this one just about tops them all. A while back, my doctor did a new treatment and braces to fix my knees, and it worked immensely so that I can start looking for work again.

I ran into a guy who told me that Western Tidewater Regional Jail was hiring officers. To apply, you have to go on their website and print an application, fill it out, then mail it to the address shown.

I printed the 8 page application, filled everything out, then mailed it to the exact address the website told me to send it to. That was Monday. Just now, I checked my mail, and the entire thing was returned and had a big USPS sticker on it that said the recipient refused delivery. In the memo section, it said delivery was refused, because the weight was over the 1 oz weight limit that the jail allows for incoming mail.

Now seriously, these people can't possibly be so ****ing stupid, that they don't realize their application exceeds the weight limit they have imposed on themselves.

Since it's on the other side of Suffolk, and I'm in Virginia Beach, I'm sure as **** not driving for almost 2 hours round trip to drop off a damn application.

I swear, it can't possibly get any dumber than this. It's like opening a steak house with a 100% vegan menu.
How bad do you want the job?

Yes, this is more than just seeing what your answer will be...
I want the job so bad that I would walk to apply for it if I thought my body would hold up. The problem is, with a car that only gets 13 miles per gallon, 1/8 of a tank of gas, no money, etc. I would have to sell something to get the gas money to get there. Times have been so tight that we have had to sell stuff to stay afloat for the past year, things that were heartbreaking to sell. We have run out of things to sell that were expendable. I absolutely will not sell wedding rings, things my kids have, or my computer to go apply for a position anywhere.

I have had several jobs over the years, but the only one I truly loved going to to every day was corrections. It's not for the faint of heart, and some people would view it as a wretchedly horrible job. But I'm not like other people, I just love it. I don't know if it's the thrill, the camaraderie, or what it is, I just love doing it. The fact that the state pulled the carpet out from under my feet and literally ruined my life when they let me go in 2008 leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and I want to prove to myself and to anyone who cares that I can do it.

They got rid of me because I got hurt and I was still in my first year. I lost everything but my family. We lost our house, our car, and at least 3/4 of everything we owned. We went from having everything we wanted to having nothing. That's almost 3 years we have been trying to claw our way back, and keep getting our fingers stomped on every time we grab hold of a piece of hope. I want my life back, and I want to be a real man and provide for my family. I won't let anybody take that away from me.
Get someone to drive you there. They will understand. No excuses here. None. Just do this thing.
Nearly all of my friends live out of state these days. The two that don't, don't have vehicles that can make it there and back. All of my family, other than my parents, lives out of state. My mom only has a company vehicle that she can't leave the city with, and my father's Jeep is awaiting a new transmission. It's not about excuses, it's about the harsh reality that barring some sort of miracle, I have no way to get out there. My wife starts teaching when school starts, but the job closes well before she will ever see a paycheck.

I'm at a loss, the stress is driving me up the wall. The one neighbor I have that would do it is in Asheville, NC until the 15th. I am so desperate to get this application there, that I am about to shame the **** out of myself, and go up and down the street with a lawnmower. **** the people who think it's weird that a 31 year old man is out on foot cutting neighborhood lawns. I don't give a ****, I think it's weird too :laugh: But desperate times call for desperate measures.

It's just not as simple as asking someone for a ride, I wish it was. That's like when bill collectors call and tell me to borrow the money from a relative. I have 4 days to come up with something. Hitchhiking is still an option I'm keeping open at this point. I'm not even kidding.
Can you scan or fax it over?
I don't have a fax or a scanner. Hell, I don't even have a printer. I had to take it to FedEx Office just to get the pdf of the application printed out.

I actually had the same thought about faxing it last night, and saw their website had an administrative fax number. I called first to make sure that was the correct number to fax the application to. Their response? We only accept applications via mail or drop off.

When I told her about the weight problem, she told me to use lighter paper. I have never had to bite my tongue so hard in my life. If I had a printer and tracing paper, I swear I would print it on that just to **** with her and be a smart ass.
Problem solved. My application is in, thanks to BGO being the best damn site anywhere on the planet. It's amazing the things decent people do for a stranger. I love you guys :D

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