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Tales from the hood


Nov 17, 2010
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I live in the warmest city in the coldest provinc
Alma Mater
So some of you know about my long standing feud with my crochety old dink of a neighbour. for the past 4 years I have had an ongoing battle with him about such random things as "how far ryans hottub is from the back of his house", "which direction Ryans rainspouts point" "why Ryan doesnt like his neighbours cat pooping in his flower bed" and my favourite "Ryan wakes up too early on weekends and is noisy when he leaves for the gym"

anyway the most recent fracas was over me shovelling my walk too early, he actually called the bylaw officers because I was shovelling my walk at 0730 before going to work. Bylaw doesnt even come out usually anymore to my address , so they called me at work. I basically told them that the same guy complaining had complained once this winter during the middle of the day that my walk was unshovelled, and i had received a warning despite the fact that the snow was obviously fresh and had fallen while I was at work.

anyway, this year I have purposely left my christmas lights up and because i know it pisses his hippy save the world ass, off, I leave them going all night sometimes. I also decided to wear a speedo for the rest of the week when going outside to use my hottub, Ill make sure and bend over a lot, I know that would gross me out and I know the old turdball is always spying on me.

any suggestions about how to legally irk the old jerk would be appreciated, im running out of ideas.
You could always take up ice sculpturing. I believe a chainsaw is one of the necessary tools. You just need to time around his weekend nap time.
I had a crotchety old neighbor once that bitched about the placement of my gas tanks (On the side of my house in view of his) Actually held up the purcahse of my house because he raised hell with the county offices.

So, I painted them Lime assed green. You know, the really bright "Save mys ass" rescue color. Of course, it was the "primer coat", and I took my sweet assed time painting them the final color
Which way do the predominant winds blow. If he's down wind of you, there are possibilities there.
I love how people hate what you are doing but at the same time are being just as rude. some of the names on there make me remember why I am thankful I never go to that site any more.

so what ended up coming of that? i didnt want to get all frustrated reading the entire thing.

When my step dad and his cop buddies went to work on him, they found out he was using an alias in Virginia trying to start a new life, so he got arrested. Found all kinds of crap on his computer too.

Should have shot him
Serious blast from the past. It's funny reading posts your own posts from 5 yrs. ago. Glad I agree with myself. :)
Edit the Wiki page on "Alien Abductions" to include the neighbor in the "Notable abduction claims" section and then create an article dedicated to his "abduction", including his whereabouts. Sit back and watch the freaks roll in. Develop thick skin for freaks hanging round your house too.

Just make sure you do it from a computer in a public library, as the IP can't be traced back to you.

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