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Some Early Tiger jokes....


The Franchise Player
Jul 28, 2009
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Yorktown, VA
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Lol, sorry, I don't have anything good to add, but these cracked me up. So many good jokes to come of this!
Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

It Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly… but put me down for a 5."

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger!

Tiger's wife now has her own endorsement with her club of choice - PING!

What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian.

We now see that tiger woods drives very well on the fairway but doesnt fare very well on the driveway

Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

Tiger's wife used a 5 iron on his Escalade not knowing a 3 wood would cause more damage
I love me some Tiger, but should we change his name to Cheetah?

wah wah waaaaahhhhhh...from Doyle Brunson via twitter. :)
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Ha, my favorite one didn't make it to BGO:

When the cops questioned Elin about how many times she hit Tiger with the golf club her response was "Hmm, I can't really remember...put me down for a 5."
Refer to post #4!

Oops...well here's a new one:

Tiger, Tiger bonking bright
in the fleshpots of the night
what immortal eye or hand
could restore your tarnished brand?

On what porn star’s breasts and thighs,
burnt the fire of your eyes
on what course did your ball run
as you sunk a hole in one?

You always looked so squeaky clean
as you strode across the green
what a relief for other men
to know deep down you’re just like them

All the endorsements down the drain
in what place was kept your brain
how deep the bunker, how long the grass
how costly all the tits and ass

Why did you keep your clubs so handy
why did you marry a fearsome scandie
at golf you’ll always be a winner
at cheating you’re a rank beginner

Tiger, Tiger bonking bright
in the fleshpots of the night
what immortal eye or hand
could restore your tarnished brand?

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