Should women pay for dates more often ?

[Fear The Spear]

So we're in an age where women have basically equal rights in virtually everything. They can partake in almost venture that men can. They demand equal treatment in everything. They are holding more important jobs than ever, and better paying jobs than ever. Gone are the days of the unemployed stay-at-home Mom/Wife. Women are now every bit as career-driven as men. And often more successful. And gone are the days where wives "submit to the sole authority of the husband" in the household. Except in hard-core religious environments, of course.
Yet when it comes to paying for dates once in a while, that's almost un-changed. So they demand all the benefits, but not any responsibility. For the record, this is not a female-bashing thread. But honestly looking for intelligent, reasonable views on why women shouldn't pay for dates. Sure it happens once in a while. But not as often as it would make sense to. Is there a really good reason why it doesn't happen, other than selfishness ?

 

[Boone]

They have it. We want it.

It's an age-old story my friend. And I really don't think it's much more complicated than that

 

[Jugband McGillicuddy]

I understand what you're saying, Spear, and honestly, the thought HAS crossed my mind. But I look at it this way...

Giving women the same opportunities as men corrected a wrong. There are plenty of women out there who are more skilled, more educated, and more driven than your average man. It only stands to reason that they should have the same opportunities and same salaries as their male counterparts.

On the other hand, "chivalrous" behavior has ALWAYS been "right." You treat a lady like a lady, plain and simple. You show her the respect that she deserves. You open doors, you take your hat off, you pick up the tab, you do the little things to show her that she's important. I hope that doesn't ever change, because it's a good thing. If it ain't broke, right?

Keep in mind that my post is more geared toward a woman that you're serious about, or with whom you're heading in that direction. If she's just a good time (and she's OK with that,) or if you're just getting started, then I see nothing wrong with going "dutch."

Just my couple of pennies.

 

[Lanky Livingston]

They have it. We want it.

It's an age-old story my friend. And I really don't think it's much more complicated than that

Winner winner, chicken dinner (paid for by the man).

 

[Elephant]

They have it. We want it.

It's an age-old story my friend. And I really don't think it's much more complicated than that

I could not disagree with this any more than I do.

Since my wife is also a member I will not go into specifics, but women are freakier than we are! They want what we have just as much if not more, especially women in their mid-30's.

 

[Fear The Spear]

They have it. We want it.

It's an age-old story my friend. And I really don't think it's much more complicated than that

I could not disagree with this any more than I do.

Since my wife is also a member I will not go into specifics, but women are freakier than we are! They want what we have just as much if not more, especially women in their mid-30's.

Yes, there's plenty of cases where the woman wants the man, more than the man wants the woman.

 

[renaissance]

So we're in an age where women have basically equal rights in virtually everything. They can partake in almost venture that men can. They demand equal treatment in everything. They are holding more important jobs than ever, and better paying jobs than ever. Gone are the days of the unemployed stay-at-home Mom/Wife. Women are now every bit as career-driven as men. And often more successful. And gone are the days where wives "submit to the sole authority of the husband" in the household. Except in hard-core religious environments, of course.
Yet when it comes to paying for dates once in a while, that's almost un-changed. So they demand all the benefits, but not any responsibility. For the record, this is not a female-bashing thread. But honestly looking for intelligent, reasonable views on why women shouldn't pay for dates. Sure it happens once in a while. But not as often as it would make sense to. Is there a really good reason why it doesn't happen, other than selfishness ?

There's a very easy solution to this "problem". Don't pay for your girl's half of the date.

(I have never not offered to pay for my half of a date, by the way)

This is an extremely sexist thread, by the way.

 

[Fear The Spear]

There's a very easy solution to this "problem". Don't pay for your girl's half of the date.

(I have never not offered to pay for my half of a date, by the way)

This is an extremely sexist thread, by the way.

That's odd, because I've only had the lady offer to pay just for HER half about 5% of the time, or less.
And I've only seen her offer to pay for both of us, less than 1% of the time.

 

[renaissance]

BOOM!! Ren for the Win!! Except the sexist part..I dont agree there.

I will pay for the first date and usually the second but you will pick it up or you will contribute or else you will find out REAL quickly that we are suddenly not going to the top places anymore.

women know what the drill is and try to use it for everything its worth. But then again I also use my wallet for everything its worth. I dont get dressed up, shower, wear cologne and take you to a top notch place for nothing.

Well maybe sexist isn't the right word, but the post is assuming that all women expect the guy to pay for them. And I know that's not the case these days. Do many guys still pay for dates? Yes. But I hope that you guys are taking out girls that at least offer to pay for their half, or offer to pay for the next outing in return.

 

[Boone]

This is an extremely sexist thread, by the way.

Guilty as charged, and thanks for being so classy (as always) about it

I guess my point is, men are genetically wired (again, in my opinion) to be the pursuer. Women seem to feed into this. Maybe this is changing socialogically. But the historic tradition cannot be denied. So although modern day decorum may call for women to carry their fair share of the financial burden of dating, the politically incorrect truth is that men are generally expected to finance the dating experience.

It is what it is.

Then again, I haven't dated since 1988, so what the hell do I know!!!

 

[Ax]

While I haven't been single and dating for the last 30 years, when I was, I had plenty of girls/women take me out and pick up the entire bill. Dinners, concerts, weekend getaways, offers to move in with them, etc...

They're still out there. You just have to be something they want.

So says Ax. Formerly known as, Studley DooRight.

 

[renaissance]

Guilty as charged, and thanks for being so classy (as always) about it

I guess my point is, men are genetically wired (again, in my opinion) to be the pursuer. Women seem to feed into this. Maybe this is changing socialogically. But the historic tradition cannot be denied. So although modern day decorum may call for women to carry their fair share of the financial burden of dating, the politically incorrect truth is that men are generally expected to finance the dating experience.

It is what it is.

Then again, I haven't dated since 1988, so what the hell do I know!!!

I will add this - if it's a first date, the person who initiated the date (the one who did the asking) should offer to pay for the date straight up. However, the other person should always offer to pay for their half. Whether the first person wants to take them up on that offer is up to the first person. But I believe that nowadays proper decorum is to at least offer and be willing to pay for your half.

I actually don't remember if I paid for my first date with my current boyfriend. I think he might have paid for dinner (which was no more than $25 for the 2 of us), and maybe I picked up my movie ticket and bar tab? But I know I offered to pay for all of my part. And since then we've either alternated paying for stuff, or we just split it. I realize I don't represent every girl, but I think I do represent a fair portion of the female population.

 

[Henry]

... ren's a girl?

Sorry. I meant 'woman'



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[renaissance]

... ren's a girl?

Sorry. I meant 'woman'



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That's what they tell me.

 

[Om]

Heh.

That reminds me of a joke.

Couple lying under the covers naked, panting and spent.

Her: "Do you smoke after sex?"

Him (lifting cover, looking down): "Dunno. Lemme check."

 

[SkinnedAussie]

I've known women who have paid for the date, as long as it was with my credit card!

 

[stevenaa]

Been a long time since I dated, but I don't remember ever splitting a check. Never really gave it any thought. I don't think it matters either way, and if I had to date again I wouldn't care if a woman didn't offer. My acid test was if they leaned over and unlocked my door after I let them in. I'd have to come up with a new test now, or buy an old car without auto locks.

 

[Elephant]

Been a long time since I dated, but I don't remember ever splitting a check. Never really gave it any thought. I don't think it matters either way, and if I had to date again I wouldn't care if a woman didn't offer. My acid test was if they leaned over and unlocked my door after I let them in. I'd have to come up with a new test now, or buy an old car without auto locks.

I liked the movie A Bronx Tale also.

 

[stevenaa]

I liked the movie A Bronx Tale also.

never seen it
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[Elephant]

never seen it
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For real?

The acid test you described was mentioned in that movie. The main character was being schooled by a gangster who told him, "If the woman didn't unlock the door for you, she was a selfish *****, get rid of her!"

I thought you'd heard it there.