Random Humor: PA Version


Elephant

The Commissioner
Joe Gibbs Club Member
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Florida State

Oh that's too bad. If you hadn't read it that would have been awesome. :D
Yeah, after Mike got me with th UFC story on April 1st, I gotta be a little more careful. :laugh:
 

Lanky Livingston

The Commissioner
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Florida Atlantic

Joel McHale's top five best lines from the white house correspondents dinner.

“All right, how about the president’s performance tonight, everyone? Sir, it’s amazing that you can still bring it with fresh, hilarious material. My favorite bit of yours was when you said you would close the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. That was a classic. That was hilarious, hilarious. Still going.”

“Hillary Clinton has a lot going for her as a candidate: She has experience, she’s a natural leader. As our first female president, we could pay her 30 percent less.”

“Fox News is the highest-rated network in cable news. Yeah, I can’t believe your table’s pushed off that far. And it’s all thanks to their key demographic, the corpses of old people who tuned into Fox News and haven’t yet been discovered.”

“Jeb Bush says he’s thinking about running. Wow, another Bush might be in the White House. Is it already time for our every 10 years surprise party for Iraq? As it stands right now, the Republican presidential nominee will either be Jeb Bush, Rand Paul or a bag of flour with Ronald Reagan’s face drawn on it. Bag of flour! All right.”

“It’s pretty bad in other places. By comparison, America is doing great. … And what’s our biggest concern as Americans? TV show spoilers. In other countries, a spoiler consists of, ‘Hey, I haven’t been back to the village yet, so don’t tell me who survived the drone strike. No spoilers!’ Sorry about that one.”

http://www.salon.com/2014/05/04/joel_mchales_5_best_lines_from_the_white_house_correspondents_dinner/

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tshile

The Legend
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George Mason

“It’s pretty bad in other places. By comparison, America is doing great. … And what’s our biggest concern as Americans? TV show spoilers. In other countries, a spoiler consists of, ‘Hey, I haven’t been back to the village yet, so don’t tell me who survived the drone strike. No spoilers!’ Sorry about that one.”

Joel McHale?s 5 best lines from the White House Correspondents? Dinner - Salon.com

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That was the only one I found humorous.
:\
 

Nobody

Super Bowl MVP
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Apr 1, 2011
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Army

His best lines weren't even listed. The one about Joe Biden talking to a traffic cone at an Applebee's that he thought was John Boehner was great. The best by far though was when he said Obama goes for a colonoscopy every year to check for polyps and George Clooney's head.
 
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