- Joined
- Jul 16, 2011
- Messages
- 3,680
- Reaction score
- 954
- Points
- 193
Warm up your throat and do some stretches because it's time for you to get in training camp! What is your leap out of your seat time? Can you improve it by a tenth of a second? Is your trash talk flabby? C'mon, you've been hanging out at the library more than the sports pub recently. Those Victorian insults are too old school man, it's time to do some heavy lifting.
Is that jersey ready. Are your flags flying? Is the grill clean because you can hear it yearning to sizzle. How loud can you get! Can you force a time-out all by yourself? Can you make a defender nervous and jump offsides? Can you scream so loud that you pump up players hundreds of miles away through that TV screen. Have you paid your kharmic debts so that there is no extra burden on the team's shoulders!
Can you sing every word of Hail to the Redskins when you are so drunk you can't even say your name? (Don't get that drunk by the way... enjoy the game, your friends, and the experience instead). Can you name every coach, every stater, his back up, and the name of the laundry crew at FED -EX? Are your whites white, your golds gleaming and your burgundys bleeding?
Can you (undetected) hurl a pea with a slingshot with enough force and accuracy to deflect a Romo pass off course? Can you be respectfully silent for a minute when asked of you and then scream with approval a second later at the conclusion of the National Anthem!
Are you ready to do your job? If not, it starts today and you have work to do.
Is that jersey ready. Are your flags flying? Is the grill clean because you can hear it yearning to sizzle. How loud can you get! Can you force a time-out all by yourself? Can you make a defender nervous and jump offsides? Can you scream so loud that you pump up players hundreds of miles away through that TV screen. Have you paid your kharmic debts so that there is no extra burden on the team's shoulders!
Can you sing every word of Hail to the Redskins when you are so drunk you can't even say your name? (Don't get that drunk by the way... enjoy the game, your friends, and the experience instead). Can you name every coach, every stater, his back up, and the name of the laundry crew at FED -EX? Are your whites white, your golds gleaming and your burgundys bleeding?
Can you (undetected) hurl a pea with a slingshot with enough force and accuracy to deflect a Romo pass off course? Can you be respectfully silent for a minute when asked of you and then scream with approval a second later at the conclusion of the National Anthem!
Are you ready to do your job? If not, it starts today and you have work to do.