Hit me with your best Cheesy Joke

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Lump Beefrock

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I love a good cringe-worthy joke. The look of disappointment on people's faces when you tell them a cheesy joke is priceless. So I wanna hear the best clean-ish joke you can muster. IMPORTANT: Lets keep it within the respectability of the board, please. All cheese, no edge. I'll start us off with a few:

  • Why did the scarecrow win an award?..........Because he was out standing in his field.
  • A dyslexic walks into a bra....
  • When is it time to go to the dentist?..........Tooth-hurty
  • How do you get down from a plane?..........You don't--you get down from a goose!

Keep 'em coming. Keep 'em cheesy. Keep 'em friendly.
 
My all time fav:

Two muffins are in an oven.
First muffin turns to the second muffin and says, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
Second muffin turns to the first muffin and says, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"
 
I dreamed that I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. The first one said to the other," You stay here and I'll go on ahead. "
 
How do you make an egg roll.................




wait for it.......



push it
 
A skeleton walks into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop
 
A guy walked into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender says "Where did you get that?"

The frog answered: "Would you believe that it started out as a wart on my butt?"
 
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt.

Bartender says: "You know you have a steering wheel hanging from your waist, don't you?"

Pirate replies: "Arrrrrrgh, its driving me nuts!"
 
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAAAAAAA!
 
What do a slow driver and a Jamaican Acupuncturist have in common?

They are both pokey Mon.
 
A blonde woman cop pulls over a blonde woman driving a sports car. The blonde woman cop asks the blonde driver for her license. Searching frantically unable to locate her license, the blonde driver asks the blonde cop what it looks like. The blonde cop says its about yay big (Holding her hands in a shape about 2 x 3 inches) and it has your picture on it. The blonde driver pulls out her compact mirror handing it to the blonde cop asking, "is this it?" The blonde cop grabs it looks at the compact and says, "Oh I didn't know you were a police officer, you're free to go!"
 
There was a scientist who was studying longevity. He discovered that if you fed porpoises baby seagulls, the porpoises would never age and die.

One day, the lion escaped from the zoo owned by the state and was wandering all around the city with the zoo keepers and the police trying to capture it. It ended up in front of the research facility where the scientist kept his porpoises in an aquarium. Exhausted, it lay down on the walkway.

Meanwhile, the scientist was coming back from purchasing a crate full of baby seagulls to feed to his porpoises. With the crate in his arms, he stepped over the lion and was immediately arrested.

The charge?

Transporting under aged gulls over the state lion for immortal porpoises.

:anonymous:
 
Two men walk into a bar. Bang bang.
Posted via BGO Mobile Device
 
One frog tells a joke to his friends. The second frog says...

See, I toad you it wouldn't get a laugh.
 
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