BREAKING NEWS: Kiper says "the Sun is HOT."

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Lanky Livingston

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Bristol, CT - 10:34am EST

Senior ESPN analyst Mel Kiper today made a stunning announcement: "I have it from one of my most reliable sources in the NFL," Kiper said, "that the sun is extremely hot right now, and is rising up draft boards rapidly."

Previous mock drafts from Kiper had shown the Sun as a lukewarm prospect, and projected him drafted in the mid-to-late rounds. From a previous Kiper report: "The sun provides enough warmth to keep us alive, provides the driving mechanism behind photosynthesis, and gives us all light to see by, but I just don't think it has the speed to keep up with NFL receivers. The sun's open-field tackling is an issue as well."

But after a shining performance at the annual NFL scouting combine in Indianapolis, Kiper had changed his tune. "The Sun has clearly put in some serious effort - its like night and day between this and its performance in the senior bowl." The Sun shot up Kiper's big board to break inside the top-10 prospects:

1. Ndamakong Suh, DT, Nebraska
2. Gerald McCoy, DT, Oklahoma
3. Eric Berry, S, Tennessee
4. Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame
5. Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma
6. Dez Bryant, WR, Oklahoma State
7. The Sun, Heavenly Body, Solar System
8. Russell Okung, OT, Oklahoma State
9. Joe Haden, CB, Florida
10. Bryan Bulaga, OT, Iowa

"You never know how the draft is going to go," Kiper said, "but I could see a team like Oakland who loves workout warriors, draft the Sun in the top 10 picks."
 

brandies

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I think the best thing about the Sun are the intangibles. The build is angular; and it appears that the sun has a game speed though this is not reflected in its' 40 time at the combo.
 

Lanky Livingston

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When asked about the Sun, former scout Daniel Jeremiah - currently of MoveTheSticks.com - said via twitter "He is literally on fire."
 

Om

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There have been questions about young Mr. Sun's fitness for the NFL. Sources close to the situation have cited the young star's tendency to take the occasional eon off. Perhaps of greater concern, one scout with knowledge of the situation has reported anger management questions.

Though no charges were brought, Sun was been cited during his sophomore year in at least one flare-up that bathed a nearby nascent civilization with deadly nutrino particles and left its planet a smoking hulk.

Sun's coaches discount any such concerns, noting that as a legacy at Solar System U, his behavior has been exemplary.

"He's a great kid," his head coach, Moe Lester, told BGO News. "Maybe a little hot-headed from time to time, but bright, you know? Just like his old man. Like father like Sun."
 

Lanky Livingston

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One NFL executive, who wished to remain anonymous, said "This Sun really makes me sweat. I know the off-field issues are way back on the horizon, but I can't help but think about him losing control and beating down on another player."

ESPN reached out to his high school coaches, who had mostly good things to say. "The only problem we had with Sun was that his attendance was a little spotty."
 

riggins44

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He is subject to burn out in couple million years. What worries me is he has these groupies orbiting around him all the time.
 

Boone

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Do we really need another 'me,me,me' player? It's like he thinks the whole solar system revolves around him. :rolleyes:
 

Jimbo

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A GPA of 5800 K tells me he's pretty bright too although I've heard rumors of anger issues. He tends to "flare up".
 

Om

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Florio at PFT reports that no one would room with Sun at the combine on account of his gas.
 

Alaskan

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Buffalo and Green Bay seem to be unlikely destinations for Sun because he simply seems to disappear in cold weather. On the other hand he is a serious student of the game, working hard during the day and not going out much at night.
 

Terry

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He showed some flare during his private workout with the Redskins.
 

Jimbo

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Has difficulty showing up during night games. Shines early but tends to fade late.
 

Lanky Livingston

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ESPN - Bristol, CT - 1:45pm EST

Reports have been confirmed that the Sun is working harder than ever. Rising at the crack of dawn, the Sun has been involved in heated training sessions that last until nightfall. The small pool of talent evaluators who doubted the Sun seem to have evaporated from the intense fire its put behind getting better.

When asked about the recent turn of events, Kiper said: "I love lamp!"
 

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