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A kicker's tale


Hog Fever

Vescere bracis meis
Joe Gibbs Club Member
Jul 15, 2009
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Bryson City, NC

Back in the 80's when I was playing high school ball we were in a bind to find a kicker. Winter soccer ran the same time that football did so all of the guys who could actually kick played soccer. Chip, the guy who normally played center for us, wanted desperately to be the kicker (for a reason we couldn't grasp). Since nobody else was really interested in doing it he got the job almost by default.

Back in the day kickers used to have a flat toed shoe since almost everyone who didn't play soccer (see above) kicked straight on style. Chip kicked straight on but didn't have a flat toed shoe. Luckily the school had one of the old flat toe kicking shoes we found buried in the equipment room though it was in pretty rough shape and was something like a size 14. The problem was Chip wore about a size 10 shoe.

What he did to overcome this was to stuff the toe of the shoe with some newspaper and then he'd tie the shoe on really tight. It worked well enough since field goal attempts weren't something we did a lot of and extra points were well, extra points. When it was time to kick someone would run the shoe out to him, he'd tie it on and take the kick.

One Friday night we were pounding a team and were up by a couple of touchdowns at home when our RB sprung one for another TD. As normal the shoe came in and Chip put it on and lined up. The ball was snapped and as a lineman I turned towards the center held my position and counted; One Mississippi, two Mississippi and I look up to see …............a flat toed size 14 shoe flipping through the air perfectly between the goal posts. The ref initially signaled good before he realized that it wasn't a football.

As we turned to trot off the field the right OT who played next to me asked me what had happened since he didn't see. I told him Chip had made a shoe goal. We walked back to where Chip was standing behind the line in one shoe. He was a big guy but when he was mad and started bitching he would sound like Donald Duck. He was in full Donald Duck meltdown mode complaining about the hold or the snap or something. Our coach just stood on the sideline shaking his head. What was there to say? We went on to win the game so no harm done in the big picture.

We always watched film of the Friday game on Monday before practice. Our head coach, who I absolutely idolized, had the driest sense of humor of just about any person I've ever met. When he got to Chip's kick he said “And he's where Chip kicked his shoe through the goal post.” He said it with such a dead-pan delivery that most of us started to chuckle a little. He then proceeded to run the play back over and over until we were all howling with laughter.

Chip was the type of guy who could laugh at himself (eventually) so it wasn't something that put him in therapy or anything. He remembered to tie the shoe tighter the rest of the season.

I might be able to find his number and see if we could dig up that old flat toe shoe if you guys want me to. He couldn't do much worse.


The Commissioner
Aug 1, 2009
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Florida State

Great story Hog, can we sign Chip?

Here's one you may enjoy:

On our high school football team we had a kicker who was missing the lower half of his kicking leg. He had what looked like the end of a baseball bat below his knee, but had an artificial leg so he got around just fine and had a flat toe shoe for his artificial leg. The kid was good, he actually was all county in his senior year!

At one point during the year, he ended up sending his leg through the air on one of his kicks. He didn't put it through the uprights, but it was comic gold as it flew through the air!

On a side note: If he was within distance and you messed with him, he would smack you with his leg and that **** would hurt!

Dead Money

, Mike Wise HATE'r
Jul 25, 2009
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I feel like cutting on of my own limbs off and beating Cundiff with it right about now. ****ing kickers.... smdh


The All-Time Great
Jul 19, 2009
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Bethesda Md

the problem is what the kickers seem to NOT do HERE!

Suisham makes the winning field goal for the Steelers against the Eagles today under pressure but when he was here shanked FGs that cost us TWO games against the Cowboys.

Shayne Graham and Rackers come here and are so-so in training camp and are released and then they go to other teams and they are starters in the NFL in 2012!!

So, what's the story? :)

These guys evidently aren't failing everywhere else, just here.

So, if we let Cundiff go and bring in another kicker does he go somewhere else and nail a 48 yarder to win a game next week?

This team seems to be snakebitten.

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