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Fatherly advice needed

Lol, please don't admire my restraint. The school definitely wouldn't agree. Sadly, I was escorted out earlier today.

The rumors and nastiness has gotten so big that they don't even know how to address it with the students. They have spoken to a number of the parents and kids at least, which backfired by the same kids still going after her for escalating.

It's a mess
 
I'm gonna have to sit this advice round out....I got nothing that doesn't include assault with a deadly weapon


Good luck, bro. Kids suck big time with that shit.
 
SS,

I'm sorry to hear about this event. My thoughts are with you and your family.

The good news is that this too will pass. Things will be better in the future.

On that note, I'd just take a few simple steps to improve things immediately.

Is home schooling an option? If not, how about removing her from the school for the next thirty days and let her stay at home?

You just have to remove the bad, and increase the happiness.
 
If home schooling is not an option because both you and your wife work, then who else in your neighborhood home schools? It's possible a neighborhood family could school her temporarily.

If there's no one in the neighborhood, then who do you or your wife know at work who home schools? If that doesn't produce results, then how about your local church? They are likely to know 5 families who home school. Churches are a wonderful resource in times like this.

That may only be a temporary solution or it may become permanent but it will fix the school problems immediately. Then you may consider enrolling her in another local school in time.
 
Hate to say it but sometimes there is no recourse.
Unfortunately, it's not much help with current pain and adds more to the table but if things can settle down it might be a good way to go.

There is some precedent, maybe not ironclad yet, for lawsuits against principles, teachers, parents of bullies, the bullies themselves, school boards and anyone else who might need to take notice of this form of social terrorism.
parent sues school bullying - Bing

North Carolina Anti-Bullying Laws & Policies | StopBullying.gov
 
All good ideas guys, and many thanks for the thoughts and kindness.

We are looking into multiple alternative options, one thats attractive but Im not sure how it works yet, is an online program conducted by our district. Ive heard of a few kinds going that route, even in middle school. One was a young girl who got pregnant in high school and it seemed like a good alternative.

I've also reached out to charter and private schools, I likely cant afford the private school, and we missed out in the lottery for the local charter school this year already, but I am trying to see if an exception can be made,

I hadnt thought about homeschooling families in our town, thats an avenue I will add in my search

If all else fails, I may even take the huge drastic measure of she and I living up in Syracuse on the farm with my Dad for the rest of the school year and have her go there. It would suck big time, missing my wife and the rest of my family, but if I could get my office to allow me to work remote up there, then its a last ditch option.
 
SS, I love you with all of my heart. I can't speak for everyone else, but I think it's safe to say that everyone else feels the same way.

Everybody feels terribly, and it's a difficult situation. Difficult, but only a challenge to be overcome. And one that your family will win.

I remember a year ago when I believe you lost a job. That was awful. But you had two choices. Let things happen to you, or take control of things.

Needless to say, you took control of things.

I know you can do the same here. I also know that you are into martial arts, but am happy to see that you already realize that violence isn't the answer. At least not now. Your daughter's happiness is your first concern, and you personally can't help anyone if you are in jail.

So.......take a deep breath. Regroup.

If you aren't in either a financial position or a time position to home school, I promise you that there are people who can help. Maybe it's a neighbor. Maybe it's the local church.

Maybe you aren't even a member of a church. How about considering a non-denominational church in your area that can help offset any financial hurdles you may encounter with education? Honestly, those people do amazing things.

Just like you began to network and distribute your resume in times past, there are local people that can help you right now.

You have nothing to gain in the short term by fighting your local school. I'm talking about tomorrow morning.

As Tom suggested, there might be recourse in the longer term.

But for a short term break, I'd really open up your mind to the idea of a temporary home school.

Please keep us updated. I'll continue to pray for your entire family.

Mike
 
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Hey SS,

My girlfriend is praying for your family right now.

There are literally people that you've never even spoken to praying for you right now.

You are stronger than you know.

Stand up. You'll succeed my friend.
 
Love ya SS.

Now get to bed. You need rest.

If you can't sleep, start and 99 and count backwards. You'll be asleep by 60.

Sleep well. You'll get through this.
 
SS,

Online programs are a good option if they are available. We homeschool our kids and my wife has used a curriculum from K12 in that effort. I bring that up because the K12 online curriculum is recognized here in the state of TX as an alternative to public school and is free for certain grades so don't just look at online programs for your district. Check further than that. Maybe there is something like K12 available where you are that is covered by public funding and would be free.
 
In an effort to take some of the negative sting from my posts last week, I just wanted to report that while all isnt perfect, things are getting better for my daughter. The source of the bullying and rumors has been identified and the school at least has informed the kids mom (who is a nut). many in the school now see how things have gone for my little girl and are at least beginning to act with a bit more empathy, if not sympathy yet.

She has made it through 3 straight days with no significant breakdowns or major issues. praying this continues.

Thanks again to all my brothers and sisters here for the awesome support and kindness you have shown me and my family. It has helped.
 
SS,

Online programs are a good option if they are available. We homeschool our kids and my wife has used a curriculum from K12 in that effort. I bring that up because the K12 online curriculum is recognized here in the state of TX as an alternative to public school and is free for certain grades so don't just look at online programs for your district. Check further than that. Maybe there is something like K12 available where you are that is covered by public funding and would be free.

Sadly, the local and state e-learning programs dont accommodate for middle schoolers here yet. Have you heard any pros or cons with some of the private provided options like Keystone?
 
Thanks for posting SS, you literally just made me smile. Happy things are improving, though incrementally for your daughter.
 
Thanks for keeping us informed SS. I know I haven't been around, but you have been in my thoughts... and it reminds me that there are people out there with bigger issues. Hugs. And we are here. Glad things look like they may be on the upswing.
 
Just a quick update, first of all, apologies for being so absent much of the time. Life is pretty hectic with all the stuff going on and I havent been good about coming here to say hello!

Progress!!!

We finally have worked out a deal for an alternative schooling option for my daughter! It has taken a ton of meetings and even legal council to pull it off, but it seems to be coming together at last.

She will meet with teachers for 4 hrs per week face to face, and do the rest of her coursework online but with on call teacher resources to help guide her. She also gets a nice list of options for the non-core classes. Our Kung fu class can count for pys ed, and she can also get credit by attending a gym for working out. She also will take some cooking ans sewing classes as electives (just things she is interested in learning anyway)

This will hopefully be for only one semester, and then she can get back to normal school when she goes to High school next year for a fresh start.

As a guy who has always kind of scoffed at the whole modern concept of "Bullying", I have changed my perspective a lot on that after seeing how horrible it was for her to be constantly badgered and harassed, both verbally and physically every day.

Her PTSD is a bit of a challenge but she is smiling more daily, especially now that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


Its a good week!
 
Glad to hear it, SS! You and yours have been in my prayers, glad to know things are maybe turning around a little.
 
Kyrie Eleison!

This is about the worst thing that I've read in a long time... I have 3 children myself, including a young daughter. Heaven forbid this happen to anyone else, but were it to happen... I would probably consider spending as much time with my daughter as possible, including maybe signing up for something like krav maga. Hitting a punching bag and learning some self-defense techniques probably isn't a bad idea. It might help empower her. If you feel she has the demeanor to handle weapons, you might consider teaching her to shoot rifles and handguns. I don't know you or your family, but I'd probably look to find ways to build her up.

I'd start by spending as much time with your daughter and showing her as much love and acceptance as possible.

PS. I guess I should've read the whole thread before posting... Oh, well... I am happy things are getting better... I just can't get over the original post.
 
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Kyrie Eleison!

This is about the worst thing that I've read in a long time... I have 3 children myself, including a young daughter. Heaven forbid this happen to anyone else, but were it to happen... I would probably consider spending as much time with my daughter as possible, including maybe signing up for something like krav maga. Hitting a punching bag and learning some self-defense techniques probably isn't a bad idea. It might help empower her. If you feel she has the demeanor to handle weapons, you might consider teaching her to shoot rifles and handguns. I don't know you or your family, but I'd probably look to find ways to build her up.

I'd start by spending as much time with your daughter and showing her as much love and acceptance as possible.

PS. I guess I should've read the whole thread before posting... Oh, well... I am happy things are getting better... I just can't get over the original post.


LOL, no worries! I appreciate your thoughts anyway!

Even though she ended up a victim of the attack (guy was 6' 4"), my youngest is one hell of a fighter. She has trained in Kung fu with me for a couple of years now and does well in her divisions for sparring and open hand forms. She also has been training the sword!

My Sifu and school brothers all have taken some extra time with her to work more real life self defense (at her request), I thank God daily for the ability to have her in all of it!
 

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