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Family

Goaldeje

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We're going to Phoenix in the Spring to visit my wife's grandmother (any of you who know me on FB need to keep this off there, please :)), and it's already driving my wife crazy. She is having to dredge up repressed bitterness and anger about all sorts of childhood stuff, and it's pissing me off. I swear, I had to drop $2k on plane tickets, and now I'm imagining my wife upset half the week about stupid shit and my blood pressure is going up.

So... we've all got those relatives that drive us nuts, how do YOU deal with them?
 
Yeah, when we go to Mississippi to visit my mom's side of the family, there is a lot of drinking involved. I may bring a bottle or two of wine to give as gifts that mysteriously disappear...
 
I've been through that sort of thing before.

I'm pretty good at just ignoring it and keeping myself busy when stuff gets awkward. Just make sure to stay out of it :)
 
Ugh! My mother in law is about as kind as they come, but she is a bit of a...stereotypical MiL. She wants her fingers attached to every aspect of her daughter's life.

Well, as gruff as I can be here...imagine a control freak woman trying to get her grubby paws all over my life! :laugh:

It's all about setting boundaries, something her children have never done. Unfortunately it may cause initial friction, but in the long run it pays off.

Prime example, my wife asked her mother not to come to the hospital for my son's birth because she's a worry wart and is capable of seeing the worst case scenario in every situation. Well, after 30 hours of labor, guess who shows up. I told her flat out that she was not invited. If she does not behave accordingly, we are going to ask the hospital to have her removed. She about **** when I said that to her. Not sure she's ever had someone be so blunt. She pouted a bit, but in the end after the boy was born, everything was fine. If I hadn't stepped in like that and established boundaries, she would have run rough shot over the whole situation and had my wife all worked up like she so often does.

Set the boundaries quick.
 
I consider my friends my family. I am only close to one of my cousins, who is like a sister to me. The rest I rarely speak to. I have not spoken to my egg donor (mom) in about 4 years, and only talk to my dad occasionally, they have never been together. My egg donors side of the family is a train wreck and I chose not to be part of it. Those that are my friends know that I am loyal, and yall are like brothers or sisters to me. My wife is very similar.
 
When my wife's brother in-law (married to her younger sister) makes a rare visit to my house, I make sure if he goes in one room I go to another. This guy a complete idiot and can not have an intelligent conversation under any circumstance. Let me backup.... he works for a porta-john company and his favorite line is, "I am #1 of #2."

My sons and even my wife don't like the guy. It's stressful when he does come over. We try to be respectful and have a quick conversation, but quickly gets to point where if you're talking to him and someone else walks up you have an escape.

I just try to tell my wife you are not responsible for your family or their choices in spouses.
 
I forgot to mention one very important detail of my family...both sides of my family are Redskins' fans!
 
I deal with it by avoiding them. Me and my cousins have always been really close like siblings, we've never so much as had an argument. But my Uncles are criminal assholes, my grandparents (with the exception of my great grandmother who I adored until her last breath, and my grandfather) are all assholes, my Aunts are two faced bitches toward everybody and I refuse to associate with them over it..........so yeah, I pretty much just have nothing to do with them. And I found that when you start cutting these miserable people out of your life, you feel a lot better. Being family doesn't give you a free ticket into my life as far as I'm concerned.
 
Xanax during the day, Ambien at night. Better living through pharmacology. :laugh:
 

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