Boswell: The Good Ones Always Come Back

ok so a few years ago (like about 15 actually lol) I was up north hunting with Merv (my dad) and my buddy Mark, we were driving on a cutline way way back in northern alberta when merv stopped the truck. I asked why he stopped and he says " theres a little bear sleeping in the sun up there." I couldnt see it, it was about 350 yards away, all I could see was a black blotch in the middle of the cutline. anyway, the day before I snuck up on Merv and scared the crap out of him while he was feeding the boars, Merv was pissy so he said " I'll bet you cant sneak up on that bear and slap him on the ass." I laughed and said " thats just stupid, even a little bear would kick my ass." but then Merv said the magic words that are the bane of rednecks and indians everywhere " I dare you, AND I'll bet you a hundred bucks." Me being me, I said " I could sneak up on anything but its a dumb bet." then my buddy chimes in " I would totally pay a hundred bucks to see that, think of the story." so they each put a hundred bucks on the dash and I got out of the truck. I was wearing my moccasins so I figured I would make an easy two hundred bucks. I told Merv to have his gun ready in case the bear came for me because even a small bear would make short work of a person.

anyway I took almost 3 hours of slowly walking up the cutline, everytime that bear twitched I stopped, but I wasnt paying attention to how long I was taking (that is important for later) so I kept walking slowly, and paying attention to where each foot was placed and how, the sun had changed positions and was now directly behind me, I finally reached the bear and leaned over him with my arm raised he looked so peaceful just snoring away, it smelled like a combination of wet dog and garbage, anyway as I raised my arm, I noticed it made a shadow across the bears face, but i noticed that too late to do anything because as soon as the shadow crossed its closed eyes it opened one eye and raised its head a bit and let out a bawl, I yelled (I dont recall what but merv says it rhymed with HIT) and slapped the bear on the ass at the same time as I was turning to run, I may have hit it a little harder than I meant because my hand was red and swollen for 2 days afterwards. I spun and ran almost the full 300 yards before I even took a breath and I am reasonably sure it would have been the fastest 40 of my life. as I got lightheaded and closer to the truck, I realised that Merv and Mark were laying on the ground and merv was pounding the ground, but I was moving so fast that it didnt register until I reached the one ton and rolled underneath it and lay there gasping for air. apparently the bear jumped about 4 feet straight up and ran into the bush much faster than I was running away from it and it climbed a tree at about the same speed, meanwhile I had been sprinting for dear life as it watched me from the tree and merv was laughing.

the upside was I got 200 bucks, the downside was Merv telling everyone how funny I looked running "with his fat cheeks just bouncing" lmao

and yes the reserve I am from is often a pretty boring place so we do some pretty dumb things.

And THAT is why we dont have to worry about Robert Griffin iii.

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Ryman -

Made my day with that story. Of course it doesn't take much to make my day.

And thus the expression 'running bear-assed through the woods."

Ryman - that's the funniest damn story I've heard in ages. I'd watch a TV show about you and your friends.

lmao, Merv used to say they should make a Tv show about me but that nobody would believe the crazy crap that always seems to find me, another funny bear story was when I peed on a bears head by accident.

we have a bunkhouse by the Naylor hills that my friends live in in the summer, they have a massive garden that they live off of, anyway in the bunkhouse there are 2 sets of bunkbeds, I was sleeping on the bottom bunk and my buddy Mark was sleeping on the top bunk, the older people slept inside the cabin. anyway, I got up to pee but didnt want to walk across the yard to outhouse so I just opened the door and held it open while I peed out the door. it was pitch dark, so dark I literally couldnt see my hand in front of my face. as I was peeing I noticed a change in the sound, (men will understand what im talking about) it suddenly didnt sound quite right. I peed for another few seconds but then got curious so I reached by the door and flipped on the porch light. I saw the stream of urine and followed it to where it was landing on top of a large black bears head, the bear had a bewildered expression on its face as the pee dripped down his face. I continued to pee as I slowly backed up and closed the door (still peeing) mark rolled over and said " dude wtf, are you sleepwalking?" thats when I remembered to stop peeing with the door closed. I said" I just peed on a bear" Mark started laughing and jumped out of bed and opened the door, the bear was still standing in the same place with a wtf look on his face. Mark closed the door and just busted out laughing. this of course woke up Marks dad who was sleeping and Merv who was sleeping in the far back room, they came out and started bitching at us for laughing and waking them up, we stopped laughing long enough to point at the door, so Merv opened the door and yelled " HEY GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE" and then looked down and said " why are my feet wet?" which of course set us off again laughing.

This thread is gold in so many ways. If anyone is magic with making graphics, Ryman needs some signature art with a wet-headed, bewildered bear, sporting a Romo jersey.

Please have more stories. :munching_out:

Late to this party, but that is a great story. I'll be sharing it with friends for weeks, months, and years to come.

And Om...

That is where Grif (the interview) solidified my admiration for him. He's special and has a lot of great football ahead of him. This story is just beginning.

I think daryle lamonica did as well

Great article and Ryman, you never shared these stores over at extremeskins...

OMG, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard at reading a post as I just did reading the "Pee-Head Bear." Thank you, Ryman, for that!

To the thread topic, I am staying optimistic that RGIII will return just as good, if not better, than he was this past season. I think a lot gets lost in the hoopla about the injury and the debate of whether or not Shanny should have taken him out of the game. So many people keep referring to it as a second ACL tear, when in fact, his ACL did not tear in this case. He just had the world's best orthopedic surgeon fix the first repair job to make it better because the first job was not done as well as it could have been and detached.

Think about in terms of a bicycle chain. The chain got broken in an accident, and was then replaced; however, the new chain was not tightened the way it should have been. It did its job fine until another accident. It didn't break, it just came off the bike. Now, the chain this time is put back on but tightened to the perfect fit for the bike. It is not a completely new chain; it never "broke." It was just repaired properly this time and now the bike will work exactly as it is meant to.

I too am optimistic on RG3's return. Its strange because often when it comes to the Skins, I've been beaten down into pessimism. This time just feels different, I feel like anything is possible and that all good things are on the horizon.

It's nice to feel this good!

Snydershrugged said:

I too am optimistic on RG3's return. Its strange because often when it comes to the Skins, I've been beaten down into pessimism. This time just feels different, I feel like anything is possible and that all good things are on the horizon.

It's nice to feel this good!

Click to expand...

I'll tell you exactly why I feel so good. It's because I have confidence. This young man is extraordinary. His drive, his dedication, his passion are all off the charts. As is his competitiveness.

Normally, when an athlete wins rookie of the year, there can be a tendency to come back a little less hard the year after. But between Russell Wilson's late surge and Griff injury, I can't remember the last time a ROY winner had less respect upon winning that award. If you don't think that's driving his rehab, you're nuts (not you specifically, SS, general you). My money says he comes back better than this year, looking to dominate, looking to shut up all the fools who immediately asked who the real ROY was.

Think of everything Fat Al was when he was here. Now imagine the complete and utter opposite of that, particularly when it comes to work ethic and drive. Griff is going to be driven this off season. Sure, he technically got a leg up on Luck and Wilson, but it sure doesn't feel that way to him.

Pass the popcorn, this is gonna be fun.

Goaldeje said:

I'll tell you exactly why I feel so good. It's because I have confidence. This young man is extraordinary. His drive, his dedication, his passion are all off the charts. As is his competitiveness.

Normally, when an athlete wins rookie of the year, there can be a tendency to come back a little less hard the year after. But between Russell Wilson's late surge and Griff injury, I can't remember the last time a ROY winner had less respect upon winning that award. If you don't think that's driving his rehab, you're nuts (not you specifically, SS, general you). My money says he comes back better than this year, looking to dominate, looking to shut up all the fools who immediately asked who the real ROY was.

Think of everything Fat Al was when he was here. Now imagine the complete and utter opposite of that, particularly when it comes to work ethic and drive. Griff is going to be driven this off season. Sure, he technically got a leg up on Luck and Wilson, but it sure doesn't feel that way to him.

Pass the popcorn, this is gonna be fun.

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Dangit! Now everyone at my office is wondering why I just jumped out of my chair and hollered


"Can I get an AMEN!"


They think I'm

Snydershrugged said:

I too am optimistic on RG3's return. Its strange because often when it comes to the Skins, I've been beaten down into pessimism. This time just feels different, I feel like anything is possible and that all good things are on the horizon.

It's nice to feel this good!

Click to expand...

That's exactly how I feel.

Snydershrugged said:

Dangit! Now everyone at my office is wondering why I just jumped out of my chair and hollered


"Can I get an AMEN!"


They think I'm

Click to expand...

Ummm... truth hurts sometimes?

Goaldeje said:

Ummm... truth hurts sometimes?

Click to expand...

In this case, the truth feels oh so good!

This is most of the reason why I, as a Redskins fan, am more relaxed about the off-season than I have been in years. This time I'm not desperate for some kind of fix for a broken team but am looking for "fill in the weak spots" for a good competitive playoff calibre team with a crazy good QB rehabbing an injury, a scary good RB and all the other pieces that came together to show not just promise but winning football.

It's just gonna get better.

Agreed Serv.

My what a difference having competent football people running the show makes.

Shanahan and Allen aren't the best - but they're light years ahead of the clowns that were making the decisions before.

What's funny is the underlying staff hasn't been changed all that much. Cerrato and Snyder were simply deciding they knew more than their scouting team...