A Burgundy and Gold Obsession
'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.' - Groucho Marx

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  1. #21

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    Virginia

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    “Survivor - Texas Style" 2

    Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor -Texas-Style!"

    The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo.

    From there they will go on to Abilene and Fort Worth. Finally back to Dallas .

    Each contestant will be driving a pink Prius with 15 bumper stickers which will read:

    1. "I'm A Democrat"
    2. "Amnesty For Illegals"
    3. "I Love The Dixie Chicks"
    4. "Boycott Beef"
    5. "I Voted For Obama"
    6. " George Strait Sucks"
    7. "Re-elect Obama In 2016"
    8. "Vote Eric Holder Texas Governor"
    9. "Rosie O’Donnell Is Texas Born"
    10. "I Love Obama Care and Chuck Schumer"
    11. "Barney Frank Is My Hero"
    12. "I Side With Jane Fonda"
    13. "It's Bush's Fault"
    14. “Islam Is A Peace-Loving Religion
    and the last sticker is…;
    15. "I'm Here To Confiscate Your Guns"

    The first contestant to make it back to Dallas alive wins.
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    The simplicity in me is complicated.
    I live in my own little world, but that's ok. They know me here.
    Redskins Fan - Emeritus

  2. #22

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    George Mason

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    Thank you for that
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  3. #23

    Mike Wise HATE'r

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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeSr619 View Post
    [video]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/563757_541815669181013_93582778_n.jpg[/video]
    That's awesome and sad at the same time.
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  4. #24

    Mike Wise HATE'r

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    Quote Originally Posted by Burgundy Burner View Post
    “Survivor - Texas Style" 2

    Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor -Texas-Style!"

    The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo.

    From there they will go on to Abilene and Fort Worth. Finally back to Dallas .

    Each contestant will be driving a pink Prius with 15 bumper stickers which will read:

    1. "I'm A Democrat"
    2. "Amnesty For Illegals"
    3. "I Love The Dixie Chicks"
    4. "Boycott Beef"
    5. "I Voted For Obama"
    6. " George Strait Sucks"
    7. "Re-elect Obama In 2016"
    8. "Vote Eric Holder Texas Governor"
    9. "Rosie O’Donnell Is Texas Born"
    10. "I Love Obama Care and Chuck Schumer"
    11. "Barney Frank Is My Hero"
    12. "I Side With Jane Fonda"
    13. "It's Bush's Fault"
    14. “Islam Is A Peace-Loving Religion
    and the last sticker is…;
    15. "I'm Here To Confiscate Your Guns"

    The first contestant to make it back to Dallas alive wins.
    I see that car several times a day in LALA land, they must be lost.
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  5. #25
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    Florida Atlantic

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    Hillary has been hanging out with Bill for too long!

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  6. #26
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    Florida Atlantic
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  7. #27
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    Florida Atlantic

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    Dave Chappelle, pyschic genius:
    [video]http://i.imgur.com/MaR5Zrw.jpg[/video]
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  8. #28

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    James Madison

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    LOLz, Lanky.
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    OLine. DLine. Secondary.

  9. #29

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    George Mason
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  10. #30

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    George Mason

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    WAL MART

    (it's BS anyways because craigslist is full of trolls and anyone that thinks analyzing it is worth wild should have their research position stripped from them and given to me)
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  11. #31
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    Florida Atlantic

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  12. #32

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    George Mason

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    I don't use a ****ty dell
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  13. #33
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    Florida Atlantic

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    Quote Originally Posted by tshile View Post
    I don't use a ****ty dell
    LOL. I effing hate my Dell laptop. Its the worst.
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  14. #34

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    Virginia

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    Is sex Work?

    A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

    A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.

    A Captain said it was 50%-50%.

    A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

    There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?

    Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.

    The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

    "Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

    The room fell silent.

    God Bless the enlisted man.
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    The simplicity in me is complicated.
    I live in my own little world, but that's ok. They know me here.
    Redskins Fan - Emeritus

  15. #35
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    Army Marshall

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    I don't know if I attached this pic right. We'll see.

    But this was a legit post on fb. OK, the top two, I completely agree with. Bottom left? Ehhh...I can quibble a little, but OK. Bottom right?
    Attached Images Attached Images
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    F.K.A. "honorary_hog"

    Always known as a diehard Skins fan

  16. #36
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    Army Marshall

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    My response to the above post was....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueZ6tvqhk8U
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    F.K.A. "honorary_hog"

    Always known as a diehard Skins fan

  17. #37

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    Don Rickles on democrats...

    Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.

    Speaking of the Speaker ... Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity. Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talks like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot.
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    The simplicity in me is complicated.
    I live in my own little world, but that's ok. They know me here.
    Redskins Fan - Emeritus

  18. #38

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    The simplicity in me is complicated.
    I live in my own little world, but that's ok. They know me here.
    Redskins Fan - Emeritus

  19. #39
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    I enjoyed this one from Mises...


    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
    throws the milk away

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy
    grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income

    ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
    your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
    for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to
    produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
    the cow has dropped dead.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
    dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
    You still only have two cows.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
    cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
    twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
    market it worldwide.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows,
    but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive...
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  20. #40
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    too funny. except that the Iraqi Corporation assists the gov't in torturing its cows.
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