NFL players stay busy with wacky off-season activities

Actual NFL headline from this summer: Despite distractions, Saints fell good about off-season.

On its own merit, the headline is so absurd you’ve gotta laugh. Toss in CBSSports.com’s Freudian-or-otherwise typo — Saints fell good rather than Saints feel good — and it makes you wonder what other gems we missed while paying attention to trivialities such as the Heat winning the NBA championship as LeBron transformed himself from the Dark Knight into a Knight in Shining Armor.

We’ve missed plenty, actually.

From Michael Vick reportedly dropping $300,000 for his Miami Beach wedding to the Dolphins discovering a $10,000 iPad app, football fans have plenty of catching up to do as training camps open this week.

Here, then, are news items you may have missed. Believe it or not, they are quite real:

• Cardinals receiver Larry Fitzgerald gets the itch to go where no receiver has gone before: space. “I want to go into orbit,” he says. “But it costs a million dollars right now, and that’s out of my budget.” Fitzgerald just signed an astronomical eight-year, $120 million contract.

• Cowboys QB Tony Romo satisfies his competitive fires by showing up for pickup basketball at a Jewish Community Center in Dallas, where one player says, “I think he’s jealous that he never had a bar mitzvah so he is taking it out by kicking the Jews’ butts on the court.”

• Eagles QB Michael Vick spends $300,000 on his wedding at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach, where guests, including coach Andy Reid, are treated to lobster, shrimp … and waffles.

• Vick doesn’t waffle on the Eagles. He says they can become a dynasty, which apparently applies to an 8-8 football team if your city’s baseball team is even stinkier.

• The NFL offers fans a chance to purchase “coaches’ film.” It costs $69.99 for a full season, the perfect gift for the fan whose collection already includes tickets to the engrossing Media Day at the Super Bowl.

• Dolfans who gripe about concession prices should know the club gave players iPads to prepare for games, then warned players that downloading, say, Angry Birds, will cost them $10,000. Memo to players: Angry Birds is only $2.99 on the iTunes store.

• More than 150 members of the Chiefs’ organization, including a dozen players, build several homes in tornado-ravaged Joplin, Mo. No, this item isn’t funny. Just one you ought to know.

• Santa Clara County politicians pull $30 million in tax money from funding for the 49ers’ new stadium, saying they’d rather spend it on teachers. Good luck fighting that one, Niners.

• Brett Favre does not come back and does not, apparently, even think about coming back, disappointing everyone desperate for Dwight Howard relief.

• At a charity golf tournament in Ohio, a businessman named Bill Griffin catches a pass in a touch football game … so Packers LB A.J. Hawk shoves him into a lake.

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