A Burgundy and Gold Obsession
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  1. #1
    BGObsessed
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    Army

    Default Prepare For The Looming Alien Invasion

    I guess we're about to be invaded. My neighbor was working on his house all day, and the best way I can explain the job site is that every window and door had sort of a makeshift box and cover blocking them while work was being done. I would have though nothing of it, other than the fact my wife just came in laughing her ass off. When I asked her what was so funny, she told me to go outside and look at John's house. So I did. Oh. My. ****ing. Goodness.

    This dude was out there dressed like a cross between Batman and the Terminator, talking a mile a minute and sweating bullets, asking me why I wasn't preparing. I said preparing for what? He said, they're almost here, I can't believe you didn't know, you're a smart guy, I thought you'd know for sure.

    Befuddled, I noticed the boxes around his doors and windows were gone. In the indoor side of the windows, was a layer of foil. On the outside frame, he had changed it from red cedar trim to painted white asphalt looking siding. The front steel door was replaced with a piece of canvas covered in odd symbols.

    Naturally, I asked him what the hell he was on and how much he drank. He then proceeded to go into full Woody Harrelson mode about the impending alien invasion. I **** you not. He claims they are just now on the fringe of our galaxy, but that they will arrive at 11:35pm EDT Saturday night. He was extremely insistent on this to the point I truly believe that he believes this.

    Now this guy is overall a pretty normal guy. We shoot the **** all the time, trade vegetables, work on our vehicles together, etc. He has some pretty radical political views, but nothing that would make me believe he was mental in any way.

    Two things really worry me about this. For starters, he is a pretty badass dude, which makes it scary living next to him if he has in fact lost it. He's been a biker and weightlifter his whole life, and spent 20 years in the Marines before retiring to become and iron worker. In the Marines, he spent most of his career doing upper level computer work for the military. What that means, I have no idea, but that's all he ever told me about his service. Also he's very smart, but I am inclined to believe he may very well have lost his ****.

    Then his wife came home as we were talking. She is a teacher. She is also very smart. She took one look at the house and at him, and it didn't phase her at all. It was like she wasn't seeing the same thing I was. So after she went in, he just dropped to the ground and started doing pushups and quit talking. WTF?

    So yeah, apparently we're being invaded, and I will be among the first taken since I'm not prepared to fight
    Last edited by Nobody; 05-02-12 at 12:01 AM.
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    It's ok, I don't like you either.

  2. #2
    BGObsessed
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    Michigan State

    Default

    Thanks for the heads up. Saturday, huh? That'll give me time to say goodbye to the wife and kids.

    Maybe you should get your water checked.
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    Face piles of trials with smiles. It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave.

  3. #3
    NFL Pickem Champion 2018
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    Virginia Tech

    Default

    Crazy stuff. The edge of the galaxy is light years away. He must have his dates wrong.
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    Eschew obfuscation.

  4. #4

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    Default

    Come on, Om. You have seen enough movies to know that light years are to aliens what miles (or kilometers for our Euro friends) are to us. So the edge of the galaxy is just a hope, skip and jump away.
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    hailus redskinus
    COYS

 

 

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