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Thread: Apology Thread

  1. #1

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    James Madison

    Default Apology Thread

    Hey all. I have noticed a disturbing trend over the last month or so, just that there seems to be a lot more personal attacks than normal, particularly revolving around the political threads. One of the many things I love about this site is the sense of community we have, and I hate to ruin it because we have trouble waking the thin line between personal attacks and defending our point of view.

    I for one have not participated as much lately because life is crazy for me right now, but also because I am just tired of the bickering. And I think I am one of the main culprits! But I haven't seen Henry around as much, and he is the one who's smile once brought a puppy back to life! We need him!

    So, anyway. My point is that we have something pretty special here. Let's remember to treat each other respectfully.

    I thought maybe it might be cathartic to have an apology thread where we can apologize to specific members or to the community at large if we feel we may have crossed that fine line in retrospect.

    So I will start. I would like to apologize to the community at large, and specifically FanSince62 and Sarge for not having much tolerance at all with your posts lately. I will try to leave my biases at the door when I post, as I do actually learn things and gain and understanding for your points of view on things. When I actually read and consider, of course. I am sorry for some things I have typed, and other things I have refrained from typing, but certainly thought a lot .

    I will be making an effort to be more civil from here moving forward. Perhaps if some of you see that changing, you could send me a PM, or just bump this thread.
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  2. #2

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    Goal....

    1) No need to apologize. One gives...one gets

    2) Agree the personal attacks do get out of hand at times.....but I look at it a bit differently: in the heat of the moment we say things we later regret...but I don't hold grudges and I can separate my disposition on ideas from my outlook on people. for example, I know you are wrong on just about everything that has to do with politics...I kid...I kid....but I also know you are a Redskin pal and I also know you are just like the rest of us: wending your way through difficult times doing the best you can...defending what is important to you. you know...I spent some time looking at your family photos and others last night in the know me thread. everyone looks happy! family touches are great! loved the most recent photo of El and wife (my first thought: this smiling, much bigger than me, dude...is my friend!)....Mike running in San Dog.....wondered where PCS has disappeared to.......Om with that ****-eating grin on the Skins' sideline!....henry's inevitably humorous touch....that's the personal side.

    3) It's just a blog. But the ideas being discussed are important and people do attach emotion to them....I know I do. And I know I'm not going to change. The key, IMO, is not to internalize others' emotions.

    4) My personal decision for this year is to be user friendly on the Skins' side of the blog: that's what BGO is all about.....that's what should be fun....that's where the sense of community ought to be. so I'm making the needed changes in my posting behaviours there! but politics? there simply isn't going to be any community...everyone is going to look at things differently...with passion....and a different perspective based on personal experience. respect? well....matter of interpretation...right? I do agree the personal assaults need to be toned down.......but....in my book....as long as there are no physical threats and matters don't descend gutter levels (e.g., F U exchanges)....pretty wide territory. once it's done...forget it and move on. and yea...there is a matter of style. BB skewered me a week or so ago with a humorous line that had me laughing for quite a while......in short...the dynamic has to do not only with the sender but also the receiver.

    anywho...at least for me: I dislike your politics intensely....but recognize your strength of character, sense of self and commitment to personal values. no doubt you harbor equally strong feelings about my politics. let it play out in the threads...get steamed....and then do what we all do anyway: forget about it!!!! the only thing that matters is when we pull the voting lever anyway (as one of my lifelong/closest friends - a diehard liberal no less! - is fond of telling me). I can't speak for others...but I can handle the schizophrenia between Skins and political blogs....kinda like all the people who DETEST Obama's politics/policies but find the man engaging...ahem.
    Last edited by fansince62; 05-12-11 at 08:12 AM.
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  3. #3
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    I like this thread, and I think it will really help. I know exactly what you're talking about, and have recently been making a bigger effort to stay out of those political threads as possible, because I tend to fight like a child throwing a temper tantrum sometimes, but at least I can admit that.

    I personally have tried to go back more to the approach of realizing we're all different, and attacking points with counterpoints, as demonstrated in the exchange me and Sarge had in the thread about Muslims getting thrown off the plane. For anyone who read it, it was blatantly obvious that the two of us had extremely opposite views on the topic. However, rather than resort to name calling, accusations, threats, etc. we just stated our opinion without being vile toward each other, and posted links to back our claims in an attempt to validate our stance.

    In the end, it turned out well since neither of us got carried away. Then with other members that couldn't resist the urge to make it personal against Sarge instead of his viewpoint, things started turning ugly.

    We all know it's hard not to get personally involved when it's a topic we're passionate about, but we are all adults and need to start acting the way we expect our children to act.

    Regardless of some of the petty fights I've had with other members, and other members have had with each other, I would like to say that at the end of the day when it really comes down to it, that we could all be friends aside from the bickering.

    Even with the very heated debates I had with a few of you a week or so ago, I never thought negatively of any of you, I hold no grudge or ill will toward any of you, and I apologize if anyone has taken anything I said to them as a personal attack, because I never intend to hurt anybody or make it personal.

    We all have strengths and weaknesses that we can take notes on and try to improve how we act here. ES has completely devolved into a cesspool of hatred over the past several months, and it would upset me greatly to see the same thing happen here.

    Some of us are religious, some of us aren't. Some of us are Liberals, some of us are Conservatives, some of us are something completely different. None of us will ever agree with another member all the time, but debating is different than attacking. It's easy to ruffle feathers through a message board, and it's even easier to do when you can't convey tone in print like you can when talking, so sometimes people take what we say the wrong way when it wasn't intended that way.

    We also have to remember that some people are overly sensitive when it comes to certain topics. If you're one of those people, try to keep yourself out of the discussion. If you're religious, and someone starts a thread about atheism, obviously it wouldn't be a good idea for you to go in that thread.

    I've spent the past week or so in the arcade kicking China's ass off the leaderboard, because I knew there were a lot of threads in here that might get me in trouble if I truly spoke my mind. When I was still drinking, I would have went off on a lot of you just out of lack of control, but I am glad I'm not that guy anymore.

    The one thing I really wish a lot of people here would do is keep a fight in the thread it started in. I had a problem a while back with people not being able to let things go, and hopping from one thread to the next to make a personal attack unrelated to the topic. I brought it up, we talked about it, and resolved it like adults with no feathers flying. Come to find out, it was a huge miscommunication. But bringing it up and resolving it prevented things from festering.

    Rodney King had a point, and we should all take it to heart
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  4. #4

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    First off, Goaldeje, you are not part of any problem here.

    I agree with your sentiments completely though. I have really pulled away from here because of those same concerns. I remember being so excited at the idea of this place, impatiently waiting for the doors to open. Expectant of a kinder, calmer, experience to ES. And for a while that promise was delivered. Unfortunately, that's no longer true. At least for me.

    The political talk here is really ridiculous. Over the top, mind-numbingly ridiculous. And the main reason, to me, is the same one that might have made the biggest possible positive difference to that at ES; far less active posters.

    That benefit though has been outweighed by the vociferousness of a few.

    I do have a solution though. The 5 O'Clock Club was named as such in honor of the place the Hogs went to to hang with friends and shoot the breeze. It's self-described here as a place to grab a cold one and have casual conversation. Political discussions aren't in keeping with that ideal. Are politics important? Sure. But there are a million other places on the web to argue them as much as you want. Here? Not so much.

    If those discussions have to be here, create a separate section for them, their own little Guantanamo if you will, so that they don't have to populate the current forum.

    I'll even start the first thread:

    When Blue Became Red: Obama's Favorite Color Is Aquamarine, Is It Now The Favorite Color Of Turd-World Communists?
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  5. #5

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    The world is what you make of it.

    Goal, I applaud your efforts to make this little corner of the world a little better.

    Good luck.
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  6. #6

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    is this well intentioned thread turning into a Coca Cola ad?

    My preference: political issues correlate to power and our lives. It's rough and tumble....serious business. if the priorities here favor community and pacific exchanges....then shut the political room down altogether. there are alternatives elsewhere......BGO would likely prosper.
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by fansince62 View Post
    is this well intentioned thread turning into a Coca Cola ad?

    My preference: political issues correlate to power and our lives. It's rough and tumble....serious business. if the priorities here favor community and pacific exchanges....then shut the political room down altogether. there are alternatives elsewhere......BGO would likely prosper.
    Sorry, we'll have to disagree here. I'm an Atlantic fan myself
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    Quote Originally Posted by Extreme View Post
    Sorry, we'll have to disagree here. I'm an Atlantic fan myself

    wise acre! and here I was thinking you were a bi-coastal kinda guy!....
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by fansince62 View Post
    wise acre! and here I was thinking you were a bi-coastal kinda guy!....
    I guess you learn something new every day.
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  10. #10

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    James Madison

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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeSr619 View Post
    hey guys, I really think Goal is trying to do something positive and sincere here.
    It's all right, Mike. I appreciate it, but if we can mend fences and be civil through humor, then I say let's all follow Mark Twain!

    I appreciate the responses guys, and I understand the differing POVs. Let's try to keep it civil, unless Boone or Om want to create a political subforum. Chris's post is the reason I posted; I appreciate the back and forth, but if we are potentially losing contributors, we need to scale it back some.

    Come back Chris! And not just to the NBA thread!

    Come back Henry! Just so you all know, People say "bless you" when they sneeze because Henry might catch your soul. It's a myth. Henry can take your soul whenever he wants.
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  11. #11
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    Guys, it's the off-season. Once the season gets going, if it gets going, we will all be back over in the Sons of Washington clamoring for the 2nd string QB to take over, angry we are still running the 3-4 instead of a 4-3 that was working, disappointed by a couple of draft picks and pleased about others, and wondering if McNabb will get traded or other teams in the NFL who may want him are smart enough to know we will just let him go.

    I am not trying to minimize how you or others feel Goal about the current swing, but in the last 5 years I have been a member of Redskins' message boards, it is almost always the same: the forums like the 5 O'Clock Club tend to become more active. Last year I started the Good Morning thread for the same reason you started this one.

    The member I have found myself engaged with most is the one member I have had the most fun with at Redskins' games, he and honorary hog are the main reason I became a part of the tailgates I attend at every home game. I have driven him home when he would have had to walk to the metro and taken the long Metro ride home, and I would do it again without hesitation.

    I applaud your efforts Goal! I applaud the members of this site. As I peruse other sites I see how the members treat each other, I consider our disagreements here trivial compared to how people attack one another in other places with complete abandon. Again, I don't want to minimize how you or Chris or any other member feels, I know we are striving for perfection here because we have a great thing in BGO, but it's the off-season and this behavior tends to arise this time of year with no Redskins football to keep our minds else where. Sometimes a message just needs to be sent to ground us, so thanks.
    Last edited by Elephant; 05-12-11 at 12:17 PM.
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  12. #12

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    For the record, I'm not dead.

    I'm just easing off the political threads. It's a lot easier than starting an apology thread.
    Last edited by Henry; 05-12-11 at 01:00 PM.
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  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeSr619 View Post
    its been a pleasure getting to know you Goal. I dont know if you were on ES or maybe we just never crossed paths but I can say youre a cool dude and I always enjoy your opinion.

    I KNOW I have seen Henry from ES but its different now. Maybe its more relaxed here or whatever but I like seeing you too man.

    and I agree with Chris...I think they tried the whole "lets make a political forum" in ES too but that never happened. not sure what would change except the titles of threads.
    You too Mike. Just like just about everybody around here, you are a good guy, and I respect and like the hell out of you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Henry View Post
    For the record, I'm not dead.

    I'm just easing off the political threads. It's a lot easy than starting an apology thread.
    Still laughing at that Hank. Can I call you Hank?
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    Everyone take a deep breath and relax. The stress of the lockout and no CBA is wearing thin on everyone. We would normally be talking FA, OTA's, and such. Blame Goodell and Smith.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeSr619 View Post

    and I agree with Chris...I think they tried the whole "lets make a political forum" in ES too but that never happened. not sure what would change except the titles of threads.
    True enough, Mike. The Sitting Is Killing Us thread is an example.

    ****ing Obama.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goaldeje View Post
    Still laughing at that Hank.
    Are you mocking me?

    Can I call you Hank?
    No.
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    Lighten up, Hanky baby!
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    I apologize for keeping ridiculous arguments going... you may or may not have realized this, but I have a problem letting go sometimes.

    And El, you can drive me home ANYTIME.
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  19. #19

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    Virginia

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    Look, we're not going to have a group hug type of thing are we? Ugh! Please, anything but a group hug.

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  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Burgundy Burner View Post
    Look, we're not going to have a group hug type of thing are we? Ugh! Please, anything but a group hug.

    Bingo!!!!!!
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