A Burgundy and Gold Obsession
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  1. #1
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    Talking Hit me with your best Cheesy Joke

    I love a good cringe-worthy joke. The look of disappointment on people's faces when you tell them a cheesy joke is priceless. So I wanna hear the best clean-ish joke you can muster. IMPORTANT: Lets keep it within the respectability of the board, please. All cheese, no edge. I'll start us off with a few:

    • Why did the scarecrow win an award?..........Because he was out standing in his field.
    • A dyslexic walks into a bra....
    • When is it time to go to the dentist?..........Tooth-hurty
    • How do you get down from a plane?..........You don't--you get down from a goose!


    Keep 'em coming. Keep 'em cheesy. Keep 'em friendly.
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  2. #2
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    Why can't a bicycle stand on it's own? Because it's two-tired
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  3. #3
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    A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from prison. The report went out that there was a small medium at large.
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  4. #4

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    Florida Atlantic

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    My all time fav:

    Two muffins are in an oven.
    First muffin turns to the second muffin and says, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
    Second muffin turns to the first muffin and says, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"
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  5. #5

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    Indiana

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    I dreamed that I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted.

    Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. The first one said to the other," You stay here and I'll go on ahead. "
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    I'm giving it a 2-4 year window. Looking for improvement in all areas. Redskins, you're on the clock.

  6. #6
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    those are some good ones, haha. keep 'em coming!
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  7. #7

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    Kent State

    Default

    How do you make an egg roll.................




    wait for it.......



    push it
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    "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to high office" Aesop

  8. #8

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    Kent State

    Default

    A skeleton walks into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop
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    "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to high office" Aesop

  9. #9
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    Where do you find a no legged dog? exactly where left him
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  10. #10
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    Default

    A guy walked into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender says "Where did you get that?"

    The frog answered: "Would you believe that it started out as a wart on my butt?"
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  11. #11
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    I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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  12. #12

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    Florida Atlantic

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    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt.

    Bartender says: "You know you have a steering wheel hanging from your waist, don't you?"

    Pirate replies: "Arrrrrrgh, its driving me nuts!"
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  13. #13
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    What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?........................................ "Oh, dam!"
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  14. #14

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    Florida Atlantic

    Default

    What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

    BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanky Livingston View Post
    What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

    BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAAAAAAA!
    hahaha here's a similar one:

    What is Mario's overalls made of?

    Denim Denim Denim





    (if you don't get that one, go here.)
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  16. #16
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    What do a slow driver and a Jamaican Acupuncturist have in common?

    They are both pokey Mon.
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  17. #17
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    Florida State

    Default

    A blonde woman cop pulls over a blonde woman driving a sports car. The blonde woman cop asks the blonde driver for her license. Searching frantically unable to locate her license, the blonde driver asks the blonde cop what it looks like. The blonde cop says its about yay big (Holding her hands in a shape about 2 x 3 inches) and it has your picture on it. The blonde driver pulls out her compact mirror handing it to the blonde cop asking, "is this it?" The blonde cop grabs it looks at the compact and says, "Oh I didn't know you were a police officer, you're free to go!"
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  18. #18
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    Default

    There was a scientist who was studying longevity. He discovered that if you fed porpoises baby seagulls, the porpoises would never age and die.

    One day, the lion escaped from the zoo owned by the state and was wandering all around the city with the zoo keepers and the police trying to capture it. It ended up in front of the research facility where the scientist kept his porpoises in an aquarium. Exhausted, it lay down on the walkway.

    Meanwhile, the scientist was coming back from purchasing a crate full of baby seagulls to feed to his porpoises. With the crate in his arms, he stepped over the lion and was immediately arrested.

    The charge?

    Transporting under aged gulls over the state lion for immortal porpoises.

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  19. #19

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    Two men walk into a bar. Bang bang.
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  20. #20

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    Virginia

    Default

    One frog tells a joke to his friends. The second frog says...

    See, I toad you it wouldn't get a laugh.
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    The simplicity in me is complicated.
    I live in my own little world, but that's ok. They know me here.
    Redskins Fan - Emeritus

 

 

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