A Burgundy and Gold Obsession
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Thread: #MeToo

  1. #1

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    Default #MeToo

    I'm usually pretty cynical when it comes to 'protests' but the outcry related to the Harvey Weinstein revelations, and the Twitter/Facebook #MeToo viral campaign is such a good thing. Not to overshare, but I had two instances, even as a boy, of effed up adults trying to coerce me into sexual situations. Thankfully, I was able to extricate myself from both situations. But it gave me a little insight into what those who aren't able to extricate themselves might go through. I never told any adult about either scenario, so I also understand why these kinds of things can go on for so long and sick individuals not be held accountable.

    I have never been a huge Quentin Tarantino fan but I have to give him some props as he came out recently with an apology for not speaking out or aggressively doing something about what he knew was going on when it came to Weinstein. Tarantino dated Mira Sorvino who shared stories of Weinstein trying to assault her - and he also knew about other instances - and did nothing with the information. He sounded genuinely remorseful and ashamed. Yeah, I know that giving him props for that represents a pretty low bar, but compared to the huge silent majority within the rest of the Hollywood community, I appreciate his honesty.

    And as far as sexual aggressiveness goes... I am all about healthy sexual expression, but men in particular have to learn that even if we would never engage in the kinds of behaviors the Bill Cosby's and Harvey Weinstein's of the world have engaged in, we send messages through our words and actions (or inactions) every day. Women aren't just women, they are daughters, neices, aunts, wives... I had a little moment of learning when my daughter was 17. We were all out at a restaurant and I made a joking comment about an attractive waitress. My daughter got really upset. To me, I was just deploying my typical male 'over the top' sense of humor. But to her, it was really uncomfortable and conjured up fears she had of a previous *weird* encounter she had several years prior with a weirdo high school male teacher. I meant nothing by the comments - but her reaction really got me to think about the whole dynamic.

    Even the good guys out there (and most men are good guys) need to be aware, that when we sexualize women (whether its oggling, or overt comments), we are contributing to the culture that allows good people to tolerate what should be intolerable. I'm not a prude, and it's not about 'political correctness', but men need to be smarter and more respectful when it comes to the culture we contribute to.

    Just my 2 cents.
    Last edited by Boone; 10-20-17 at 07:04 AM.
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  2. #2

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    Towson

    Default Re: #MeToo

    Wow, thank you for such a thoughtful post on such a serious topic, John. I agree with you on every point you made and I hope our members read your post.

    As you may know, I work in public health and used to run the maternal, child and adolescent health program at our health department. When I transitioned into a new role at the health department, the one thing I insisted I still be allowed to be involved in with MCAH was the child sexual abuse prevention component. I was a trained educator for the Darkness 2 Light organization and ran child sexual abuse prevention clinics through the county with other facilitators. This is such a prevalent issue in our society and it is so devastating to all the victims and loved ones I felt compelled to continue this work. I have recently moved on from the health department, but still volunteer time teaching adults about red flags, prevention tactics and policy implementation.

    Anyway, I say all this because this issue is dear to my heart; not because I have been a victim (thank God), but because I know victims (child and adult, male and female) and have seen how devastating the impact has been on their lives and how important it is for all of us to look out for others. If anyone glances even just briefly at the data, it is astonishing how prevalent sexual harassment and abuse is in our society against all genders and ages, but most notably against minors and females. There are so many small changes we can make in our daily lives to help protect others, from being alert for red flags, to listening when anyone tries to drop hints or confide in us, to being aware of our own language and attitudes, to putting up barriers that protect people from assault in policies, whether they be policies at work, in coaching sports, in our homes, etc., to speaking up whenever something strikes us as fishy or odd. This goes for men and women, both can be predators.

    As for this Weinstein POS, him going to rehab is a total joke as far as I'm concerned. I hope when criminal charges against him are brought, the jury and judge don't buy any of his "remorse." He isn't addicted to sex, he's predator and IMO, that is something that can't be rehabilitated. Instead, predators like him should be locked away from society forever or put to death, whatever is most cost efficient for society. The consequences of these predators' actions are simply too much for the victims and their loved ones. It is too great of cost to our society to ignore harassment and abuse, particularly against the most vulnerable among us.

    If anyone wants more information on sexual abuse, particularly against minors (which some of these actresses were at the time of the alleged events), I encourage you to visit: https://www.d2l.org/

    Thanks again, John.
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  3. #3

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    Default Re: #MeToo

    Weinstein should have to room with Spacey in whatever rehab facility.
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    Default Re: #MeToo

    A belated comment on this... I totally agree as well John (and Special K) on this whole issue. While not a victim, I experienced things as a child (age 6-7) that nowadays would be considered sexual abuse but never went the full distance. Never told anyone about it.

    But I have had to deal with it from a 13-year-old's POV abusing my great nephew. And that 13-year-old happened to be my "adopted" nephew (son of my niece). It was outright abuse and the 13-year-old was picked up by the police and put into rehab. It did cost me the friendship of my niece (his mother) because it came out that all the kids were being physically and mentally abused by their father (my niece's husband)... although she was enabling him even after I said something to her a couple of years before all this happened that I suspected as much. While she didn't do the actual abuse, she enabled her husband (and still does in my opinion) so I just won't see her anymore. That hurts, but I can't deal with her being an enabler in all this.

    My perspective is that any "innocent looking" or "innocent sounding" gesture or state is sexual harassment if it makes anyone feel uncomfortable... be it male or female feeling uncomfortable OR performing the gesture or making the subject comment.

    It's tough with youngsters nowadays. They learn things from their friends and they figure that if their friends "says or does it" then it must be okay.
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    Default Re: #MeToo

    So - Larry 'Just Lie Back and Relax' Nassar will be in jail until the next ice age. Which is a beautiful thing. May all of his orifices enjoy every minute of it.

    But it is still astounding to me that so many human beings knew what was going on, and essentially did nothing about it.

    It would be bad enough if this were a Harvey Weinstein type situation with adults being abused/assaulted. But young minor (and in some cases, younger) girls - and still people do nothing? I don't understand human nature in these kinds of situations. What the hell is wrong with people??!!

    It's a shame that not many of these folks will be held accountable. For me, a failure to act on the kind of knowledge/information that so many adults apparently had - it's absolutely criminal. I'd be fine with every one of the folks who knew and did nothing (or allowed their concerns to be silenced for that matter) got jail time.

    They deserve it.
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    Last edited by Boone; 01-24-18 at 04:54 PM.
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    William and Mary

    Default Re: #MeToo

    Quote Originally Posted by Boone View Post
    Periscope video? Is this the right link?
    Last edited by Boone; 01-24-18 at 04:55 PM.
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  8. #8

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    Default Re: #MeToo

    My bad...gimme a sec...

    Fixed now - thanks!
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