A Burgundy and Gold Obsession
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Cake or Death?

Fun with Preseason

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In watching the game last night (2nd preseaon game, at CHI) I had to take my mind off the horrific display, while reminding myself that, you know, it's just preseason. Naturally, I turned to movies. My movies, specifically. I looked at the DVDs I have, some were very appropos, others not as much. Here are some examples:

Inception: Is this a dream? Nope, just preseason.

Taken: I have a very particular set of skills that make me a nightmare for people like you... but only in the regular season. Not so much right now. (actually, I cleverly combined Taken with Mad About You there :))

Bourne Identity - Apparently, our team can't remember the gameplan until the regular season starts.

Gremlins - Self Explanatory

Sneakers - It's all about who controls the (gameplan) information.

Duck Soup - Ever watched the Marx Brothers? Ever watched our OLine?

The Thing - in which one by one, this entire board is taken over by an alien creature that convinces us the preseason really matters.

Hunt for Red October - Be careful Ryan, there are some people here who don't react well to the preseason. (if you say this line in your mind, you have to imitate Sean Connery's voice when you're doing it. There's a law and everything)

Mad Men - (said to my wife) It's the preseason, baby. Now go get me a scotch.

Scrubs - Well, its no secret how I feel about preseasons. I hate them. Id liken them to rocks, but that would insult rocks because, you see, at least rocks are useful to society. We build bridges, or even throw them at guys wearing phones clipped to their heads.

Young Frankenstein - A riot is an ungly thing... undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun.

Lastly, I glanced upon Glengarry Glen Ross, the ultimate Hollywood depiction of my profession. And I imagined what Blake, Alec Baldwin's character might have said to us all about the game - It's the ****ing preseason, you worthless sacks of shit. You're all sons of bitches! (except with several more "****"s thrown in.

So that's what I did last night. Consider this as a PSA reminder that in fact, it is only preseason. You know, glorified exhibition games?
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