A Burgundy and Gold Obsession
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Cake or Death?

Dallas Week

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Ah, Dallas Week. It's here, the first of two times in 2011.

I always find it amusing when talking heads talk about sport's greatest rivalries and don't include the Cowboys/Redskins in their list.

It's kind of like they are trying to be cool by listing some obscure rivalry that no one cares about.

Way to go!

But let's be serious here. There are a couple of contenders: Lakers/Celts, Red Sox/Yankees, UNC/Duke and a few others I can't think of right now. Lakers/Celts is intruiging to me as a basketball fan, the dynamic of Wilt/Russell, morphing into Larry/Magic then Kobe/Garnett is fascinating. One could write a book on Magic and Larry alone and I would love it.

Red Sox/Yankees also a contender, but they play so many games each season, against each other, that I feel like it loses some specialness. Duke/UNC I feel like I should care more about, and then I remember that Dickie V cares enough for me and for you.

I have to give the nod to the NFL over the NBA because of its overwhelming, incomprehensible popularity.

So who else in the NFL? Colts/Pats? Right. The same two teams that didn't give a crap each other until Manning and Brady started depriving the other of playoff wins? Wrong.

The NFC North is a possibility, except that I can't tell who they hate the most. Chris Berman always waxes rhapsodic about the Packers and Bears which might weigh in until you remember that Chris Berman is an idiot.

I know I'm forgetting others, and feel I should apologize; saldy, I don't really care. The answer is Dallas/Washington. Period. Ask any member of this board. They'll tell ya.

I hate Dallas. I hate the fact that people still refer to them as America's team. I hate their colors. I hate that stupid, frickin' star. Their owner looks like skelator for cryin' out loud. They've had pretty boy QBs forever. And my God, are those QBs overrated. Quincy Carter, anyone? I hate their alumni. Refuse to watch anything with Michael Irvin on it, who being worshiped still by Cowboys fans despite who he is, tells me everything I need to know about Cowboys fans.

And speaking of them, good God I hate Cowboys fans. Not the (3) knowledgable ones who understand football. The "fans" who start wearing their stuff when things are going well, and when Romo inevitably chokes hide those same clothes.

And by the way, Dallas fans, Romo will choke again this year. When, not if.

I hate the stadium, with the stupid big TVs. I hate their cheerleaders (who for years haven't been the hottest in the league, btw).

I hate Dallas.

And I hated it 7 years ago when we were in the midst of that streak we shall talk about, when they beat us twice every frickin' year, and the true Cowboys fans I knew didn't fear this game any more. They overlooked the rivalry because we had become the nail.

And I [U]loved[/U] this: [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbvO3tqMIak&feature=fvsr[/video]

I cried some that night. Pure, unadulterated joy. I still well up sometimes when I see it. I remember calling my dad who went to bed that night and blurting out what happened as soon as he answered the phone in about 5 seconds.

I hate that team.

But Lord do I love beating them. I don't care how we do it. Close game, blowout, whatever. I don't care if they're injured, overconfident, underconfident, healthy, whatever. I just want a win.

So here's to a win. I don't care what it looks like, I just want to be smiling Monday night.

Hail.
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