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Blognostications

2015 Week 11 Panthers v Redskins

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Blognosticator - Ax

POCKET FULL OF KYRKTONITE

So, the next step for the 2015 Washington Redskins, on their way to the division crown, demands we make a trip into the Fortress of Solitude, to defeat Superman.

And we all know how you do that....

....with Kyrktonite.

That's right boys and girls. By the time we finish with them, they'll seem more like Josey & The Pussycats!

Sure, they're undefeated. Yes, they have a top 5 offense, and a top 10 defense. And, they get to play at home. But who cares? We have Kyrktonite. With him on the field, Superman will be rendered, powerless.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Kyrktonite's alter ego, Picks McMinny, seems to beat Kyrktonite to the airport for road games. In which case, we'd be screwed. But that's not gonna happen this week. The Kyrktonite is too vital in defeating Superman. He will sleep on the plane the night before the trip, ensuring that, Picks, won't have a seat.

Additionally, our head coach showed signs last week, that he CAN INDEED use parts of the other 99% of his brain. For the 1st time all year, Alfred Morris got more than 2 consecutive carries before he was replaced. Imagine THAT!!! Up until yesterday, our RB's spent more time looking at the sidelines to see if they were being yanked again, than they did searching for holes to run through. Jay Jay needs to continue this at The Fortress. RBBC can work, as long as guys are getting 5-10 consecutive plays before being yanked for no particular reason. At times this year, it's looked like pee wee football, with everybody on the bench getting into the game so their parents won't have a conniption. Another balanced attack by the offense is how you beat The Pussycats defense. It also keeps Superman on the bench, where the Kyrktonite can really sink in and wear him down.

As for our own defense, these guys are sneaky good. Were it not for injuries, and our opponents being allowed to wear greased up uniforms, (What else explains so many missed tackles?) we'd be a top 10 defense too. Coach Barry has had guys in position on the majority of big plays we've surrendered. Piss poor tackling is what's done us in more times than not. As we get more guys healthy, I expect even better play from the defense. As always, stopping the run is priority one. And, like I said, we usually have guys in place. They just need to make the tackles, more than they miss them. When he is on the field, we need to keep Superman in the pocket. In his weakened state, due to the Kyrktonite, he won't be as powerful from the pocket. Besides, I don't think he has the receivers to get it done. But, if he can constantly break contain, he could hurt us with his legs, while his receivers have more time to find an open spot. When he gets frustrated, he gets careless. And then, we've got him.

And let's not forget, the Fortress stands in what was once part of The Redskins Nation. Many fans there will be Redskins fans. Even if they're wearing Pussycat Blue, they're hearts still hold reverence to the team of their childhood. Plus, if memory serves me, Brothers Om, and Boone will be in attendance as well.

Game over.

Redskins 24
Pussycats 16

And with that, BGO, auf Wiedersehen

Ax

Updated 11-20-15 at 08:45 AM by Om

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  1. Om's Avatar
    We have a chance.

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