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Cake or Death?

Lord of the Buys

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Get it? Come on. I have an English degree (and Art History). I get to use it once a year, if that.

Lord of the Flies is a classic novel by William Goldman about a group of boys who try to govern themselves on a deserted island.

Fabulous commentary on our evolutionary history, nature vs. nurture...

Nevermind. I forgot. Football blog. Right.

Humor me for a moment.

I haven't had the opportunity to write about this kind of thing since college, sooooo.... might be a little rusty.

If you recall (assuming you've read the book. If not, stop reading this and go read that for God's sake. It's a frickin' classic), there are two main protagonists in The Lord of the Flies, Ralph and Jack. Ralph takes control of the group of boys early on by reasonable, democratic measures. Jack eventually seizes control though a fairly brutal coup during a time when the group is apprehensive about the beast.

Jack, as you recall, is a more primal, hunting figure. He is assigned the role of hunter early on and takes to it with abandon, eventually neglecting to care for others because of his single-minded focus on the hunt.

The book represents a fascinating look at the schism that can divide all of us individually as well as corporately.

Kind of like Redskins Park.

(There it is, see? Told you I would get there)

Dan Snyder has two sides. The rational, calculating businessman who sees what needs to be done and does it, and the impetuous hunter who sees what he wants, and gets it. As Skins fans, we are used to seeing something in free agency and getting it. Or eying a higher draft pick, then getting it. The same held true with Jack. Ralph was able to appeal to his rational side early in the story, keeping a lid on the crazy in Jack's head. We need Snyder's calculating business side to over rule his impetuous hunting side.

Thankfully, Roger isn't here anymore.

Roger, if you remember, was one of the big kids who was Jack's right hand man. Roger affirmed Jack in everything, always pushing for more and more hunting, even as Ralph pushed for more growing.

Roger = Vinny. And he is gone. We have a chance for normalcy. If Bruce Allen can play Ralph to Snyder's Jack, we have a chance.

(I know. This piece is a year late. I wasn't writing a year ago, give me a break, will ya?)

Because frankly, I am tired of surveying the Redskins' season year after year, and saying "I would have expected better from the Redskins", which is what the British Captain said to the boys at the end of the book.

Except for the "Redskins" part, anyway. You get the idea.

Here's hoping Lord of the Buys doesn't show up, and we get Lord of the Patience, instead.
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