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Blognostications

2014 Week 12 Redskins @ 49ers

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Blognosticator - Nobody

I hate teams with numbers in their name. The 49ers, the 76ers, itís just stupid and uncreative. I also hate San Francisco. I always have. I donít know if it stems from Full House being such a terrible show, Rice a Roni only having 2 flavors my entire childhood (dirt and burnt tomato), or the fact they have a Spanish name. This is America - home of beer guts, Kardashian bashing, and football. We donít need the romance, so eat it you armpit of California.
We never play up to our potential it seems. Itís been a rough couple of decades. But guess what? The Kaepernicks arenít exactly blazing a path to the land of milk and honey either. Money well spent, we know how it feels.

We beat good teams, and lose to the worst teams the league can throw at us. Luckily for us, these guys are somewhere in between. Maybe we tie. That would be hilarious. A 0-0 tie would be great, weíd finally have a shutout. Obviously a blowout would be fun to see again. So yeah, letís do that instead. Letís blow them out and see all of our guys have career days on the same day. 600 yards of offense, a shutout, an embarrassment in not-Candlestick. If nothing else, it would send ESPN into a scramble for some makeshift material to report through their top notch world class analysis.

In reality, who knows what weíll do. Weíll win big, or weíll lose big. Or our punter will cost us the game like Chicagoís does for them Is there a way to lose points? Letís do that too.

We canít block, we canít tackle, we canít cover, and our defensive mastermind has a permanent WTF face that weíre sure to see a half dozen times. Our superstar back is being handcuffed for some unknown reason, and our superstar QB isnít doing so hot in the pocket. This has all the makings of a pure disaster.

So clearly, past history dictates that we win easily. Letís roll into the bowl (blatant legal pot reference), and stick it where the sun donít shine. Up yours Saint Francis Forty Niners, itís your turn to wonder how the hell you lost that game.
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Comments

  1. fansince62's Avatar
    lmao!!!

    short...but what else is there to say? well written not bashing, btw. it is what it is.

    good job Nobody!
  2. JohnssBass's Avatar
    Hilarious...I haven't been able to clear the cobwebs for couple of hours - that did it. You pretty well covered the bases no matter how game unfolds.

    So...you win free tickets from Rice-what-is-a-Roni-anyway? to a Skins game in Santa Clara...Do you go or try to dump the tickets on some poor schmuck?
    Updated 11-20-14 at 11:55 AM by JohnssBass (typing from pos phone)

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