A Burgundy and Gold Obsession
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A Burgundy and Gold Obsession

The Last Stand

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were ambushed while crossing Texas cattle country by a large group of Comanche braves. Hiding behind a large rock outcropping, they battled the Comanches until they had fired their last bullets and shot their final arrows.

Well my red-skinned friend said the Lone Ranger tenderly to his Indian companion of so many years, it looks like weve finally come to the end of the road

Whats this WE shit white man? replied Tonto.

If youre a Redskins fan in 2013, ALL youve got left are jokes my friends.

Theres no doubt, having enjoyed a public humiliation of epic proportion on national TV, taking a beating from a far superior San Francisco 49ers squad, and being dominated in every conceivable manner possible, that its circle the wagons time at Redskins Park.

The question is, whos IN the circle and at whom are those guns currently aimed?

There are really only 2 ways for this all to play out.

The first possibility? The Fortress Ashburn Approach. When you dont have any answers, cant buy an ounce of luck or good fortune, when all the forces of Nature and the DC sports media machine seem to be aligned against you, theres really only one thing to do. Go Us Against the World.

Honestly, its amazing we didnt go there 3 or 4 games ago. It was bad enough then. But now, its far, far worse. When folks begin rooting for your young superstar QB to have a 3rd traumatic ACL injury (because, goshdarnit, hes just too damn successful, marketable, and visible), you know its bad. When Bob Costas lectures you from his NFL bully pulpit on how shameful it is that weve called our team The Redskins for 80+ years, you know its bad. When NFL officials seem to look the other way during weekly beat-downs of your heroically stubborn franchise quarterback, throwing in a verbal insult now and then for good measure, you know its bad. When every media interview or player comment, snippet, or tweet becomes an opportunity to stir up dissension, intrigue, disloyalty, petty jealousy, back-stabbing, and controversy, you know its bad. When your own Dad cant visit you in your own locker room, without it being twisted into something ugly and ominous, you know its bad.

The 2013 Redskins are George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg. Its a perfect storm, and someone is going in the big drink very soon.

Faced with the kind of organized adversity our guys have battled this season (and it aint over yet folks), what is still a team sport demands an Us Against the World mentality. Its time for the Deathmobile and the Eat Me sign. Rarely has an NFL team had more to contend with than the 2013 Washington Redskins. The New Orleans Saints once battled a Hurricane but the Redskins face a tsunami of scorn and ill will its hard to comprehend, much less overcome.

I wish theyd circle those wagons. Arm themselves. Recognize with clarity whos US and whos THEM. Battle. Fight. Stick together. If nothing else, unite and go down together, like that mouse flipping off the swooping eagle of doom - talons moments away. But it hasnt happened. Players and coaches, when pressed, have said the right things, but this time with words that ring hollow, as if even they couldnt muster the necessary belief.

Nothing can change the reality were not currently a very talented football team. Were not winning anything anytime soon. But Im not talking about winning. Im talking about how this franchise ought to respond to losing games, a promising season, and the opportunity to defend the NFC East crown. How does this franchise defend itself and salvage some organizational pride that could, at a bare minimum serve as a foundation for a future turn-around, something that could be built upon?

Theres another option. Its kind of like brainstorming, minus the positive how can we figure this thing out together? aspect. The goal here would be finding who to blame, and in a hurry, and punishing them as swiftly, publically, and violently as possible.

Lets call it Blamestorming.

Instead of circling all those wagons and standing together until the onslaught has waned and subsided, we take all those guns, harsh words of criticism, and accountability and turn them inward on someone, anyone to vent and cleanse ourselves of the outrage of our disappointment. We fire someone. And I mean fire them. Hell fire all of them. Burn baby, burn. Nuclear war lets get it over with! I can feel the warmth kissing my cheeks already just at the thought of it.

Thats the other way to go. Burn someone in effigy. Raise that sacrificial lamb and make some porkchops out of her. Get er done. Pass the Sweet Baby Rays.

Thats the other way to go.

In the pain and misery of the moment, I just want something to change. Ive always been, at heart, a circle the wagons, go out in a blaze of glory, kind of a guy. I could forgive our teams suckitude, no matter how all-encompassing it might be, if they players and coaches stuck together, told all their critics to piss off, and kept fighting. With that kind of unified organizational determination against whatever the Gods hath brought down upon us, I could maintain some pride of affiliation and hope for the future.

What I cant stand is a lack of fire. Resignation. A seeming succumbing to fate and luck. Passivity. Ambivalence. Que sera sera. I cant stand that. When your ass is on fire, you dont stand around asking everyone around you if they smell something burning. Do something. ANYTHING.

If you think it hurts being a Redskins fan on 11/26/13, imagine what it must be like to be Robert Griffin, Mike Shanahan, or even Daniel Snyder. The pressure and tension must be almost unimaginable. I dont know what the right answer is, and if you say you do, youre kidding yourself.

But the time has come to do something.

Circle the wagons.
Or start shooting deserters.

We have to do something.

Yeah I know. Whats this WE shit white man?



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