I’m not talking about the team name, paleface. Not even close chief.
But these Redskins, glorious and storied moniker and all, will be the most offensive team in pro football in 2014.
I’m going to engage in some bold talk today. It’s true, my name is John and I’m a homer. I’m familiar with the 12 steps. I even watch ‘Intervention’ on A&E when time allows. But I don’t need Redskins fan rehab like I have for most of the 20+ year’s worth of offseasons. Not this time
Amidst the frenzy of post-NFL Draft dissection, the inevitable occurs. The more jaded (they would call themselves ‘realistic’) wring their hands over lost opportunities and busts selected even before a single practice has occurred. On the other side of the spectrum, the ‘homers’ (they would call themselves ‘good fans’) applaud the genius of their NFL front office, whose picks in this year’s draft will surely vault their beloved franchise into relevancy and take them to the Promised Land.
With apologies in advance to the great Johnny Cash
Signed a receiver in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
BGO’s been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since Chip Kelly kicked him out.
We’ve signed Jackson, you better start lookin’ round,
Cause if you blink your eyes
You’ll never run him down.
Well, go on talkin’ down Jackson; go ahead and tell yourself.
The mans bad news, cause the signs he use, NFC gonna need some help
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were ambushed while crossing Texas cattle country by a large group of Comanche braves. Hiding behind a large rock outcropping, they battled the Comanches until they had fired their last bullets and shot their final arrows.
‘Well my red-skinned friend…’ said the Lone Ranger tenderly to his Indian companion of so many years, ‘it looks like we’ve finally come to the end of the road’
‘What’s this WE shit white man?’ replied Tonto.